"And here's your winner, dudes..."                                   

"And the dude selected to accept the award is...

Uh, dude--there's no one left. We've run through all of Symphony's available supporting cast members."

"Oh, no! It looks like I'm going to have to accept the award.

Not good--my brain is so numb from dealing with idiots that I can't think of anything to say.

Wait, wait--got it! I'll do what the master did at the end of Symphony of the Night: Give a speech according to the scriptures! Yeah! Now what was it? John 1 ... something? I know it. Uh, it was, uh ... 1--"

"1.21 JIGGAWATTS!"                                    

                        "What the hell?"

"It's worse than I thought. The axis-modulator overloaded the flux capacitor! I've got to get BACK to 1985 and figure this out!"

"Heavy, dude."                                               

"Nyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! What in the name of Sr. Isaac Newton?!

Great Scott! Marty--what have they done to you!"

"I'm not Mart--"                                              

"Of course! The fallout from the atomic wars! The radiation combined with the deviation in the space-time continuum has created a race of spikey-haired mutants! Oh, Marty--I'm sorry. This is all my fault.

If only we could generate enough energy to travel back to 1955, we could TAKE BACK the almanac, RE-FLUCTUATE the capacitor, and RENDER the causality impotent to thereby SKEW the anomaly and recreate the original 1985. My God, it just MIGHT work!"

"Listen, pal, we have no idea who you are, but if you can tell us something about the graphics of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night--well, then, go ahead. Because I don't really give a damn anymore."

"Castlevania: Symphony of the Night? Great Scott! I had to study this very subject when I traveled to Igarashi, Japan, in 2035."

        "Wait--did you say 'Igarashi, Japan'?"

"Precisely!

It, too, was obviously affected by the wars, because all its citizens ever did was laugh in an exaggerated dialect while endlessly spouting grouped-up antonyms."

"Doh! I'm ... not sure what could have caused this, so, uh, let's ... hurry along."

"Sure thing. I'm just glad the original still stacks up so well to 2016's Castlevania: End of Dictionary, its 648th sequel.

But Einy and I sure do remember the visual sensation that was 1997's Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Though the game surprisingly appeared on the Sony PlayStation, it was an even bigger surprise that the developers chose to stick with 2D in a world where 3D was becoming all the rage (4D was still well off, if I recall). They certainly didn't take this task too lightly and succeeded spectacularly in creating what this site calls 'the best, most ambitious effort displayed in any of the 2D offerings by far.'

It's a four-part recipe, really: (1) The numerous characters are beautifully drawn and animated--all unique in their movements and actions. (2) The backgrounds and foregrounds are painstakingly detailed, with layers upon scrolling layers that are mapped out in a way so that you'll discover new, small details (like the giant eyeball that tracks your progress in the Marble Gallery) every time you play it. (3) The special effects, like the castle keep's swirling clouds and the execution of the upside-down castle, are not to be taken lightly. And (4) the presentation and atmosphere, therein, is purely 'Castlevania' taken to the new level. How did they pull it off so brilliantly? As a scientist, even I'm hardpressed to explain it. All I can say is that Symphony of the Night is a treasure trove of ophthalmic goodness that transcends all of space and time! Congratulations to all involved!"

        "That was very nice, Mr., um, weird guy with goggles."

"Sorry about the crudity of the speech--I didn't have time to run rough drafts, edit it, trademark it and publish it, nor could I finish the graphs and paint it."

                 "That's quite all right."

"I've got to get going now. Perhaps we'll one day meet again in the future."

           "I can hardly wait."

"Marty--to the Delorean before you see yourself!"         

"But I'm not--"                                               

"JIGGAWATT!"                                    

"I'm not going to say a thing. I'm just going to look at my card and hope that it says, 'Librarian dies here.' If only I could. ... Pain must end.

Hmmmm--maybe it's not so bad, for a true warrior is about to enter our midst! Oh, you got it right, boys and girls: It's time to welcome a once-almost-member of our dark army, the exceptionally skilled man-at-arms--our next speaker who you know as Maxim Kischine!"

           "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, yeah!"       

           "Pardon?"

"M to the A to the X-I-M. Max on a Mission is in da house!

If it's time to get busy with Max on a Mission, say, 'WHOOMPH, THERE IT IS.' "

           "What?"

"WHOOMPH, THERE IT IS!

Throw your hands in the air, and change the channel like you just don't care. It's here and now, don't have a care, 'cause I'm on a mission, ya'll, over hare!"

"Oh, oh--I get it. I'm down with that, homes. You were on a mission when you collected the six parts of Dracula, right?"

"WOOOOOOORD. Doin' that thing, collectin' six parts--eyeballs, rings, nails and hearts.

Goin' to the castle ... with Lydie in hand. Chaaaaasin' Death all around the land. Doin', goin' all ninja on crazies. Not gonna stop till Drac's pushin' up daisies.

Doin' like this, takin' out the sword. Homey so jacked he's gettin' bored. A second castle, my senses so dense. No it ain't me--the storyline makes no sense."

           "I'm feelin' it."

"Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Gave Juste a bracelet, said, 'See you later.' Plowed through the castle like a Ter-min-ator.

Reached the heart of the castle, couldn't fight no more. Juste came flyin' through an open door. We fought over here, fought over there, my head spun around like Linda Blair.

Struck me down ... with heavy force, didn't feel this bad since my first divorce. He showed me the bracelet, naw--he didn't flee. Like Lara Flynn Boyle in dress, Drac fell outta me. Uhhhhhh."

"Yeah! Let me try: Went to the library, read a book. It was really good, so I rec-o-mmend it! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Go me. Go me. Gah-gah-go me! Boogie-woogie-SCHWAARRRR!"

                    "..."

        "SAY 'NO' ON 16! 'NO' ON 16! 'NO' ON 16!"

"Wow...

That was dope, foo'. Killed my mojo.

Shaw--suckas was DROWNIN'."

"Woah, sorry--I don't know what came over me. For a second, I thought I was a goofy Michael Jackson-lookin' white guy who thought he was a rapper. It won't happen again.

Though, I do have another one for you: Read the nominees, to you I plea. Then hurry back up into ob-scur-ity! SHAZAM!"

"It's aight. It's aight. So that's how it is? My peeps will see your peeps, then you won't be makin' a peep. You've been plaaaaayed, sucka.

Speakin' of getting played: It's what 'Castlevania' is all about, yo. You can take your fancy music and shiny graphics and throw them to the wayside, because when it's all said and done, only one question remains: 'Did I get the most bang for my buck?' That's right--it's all about the gameplay, which is comprised of several factors: Stage design, enemy placement, application of controls, imagination, and use of ideas, among others. To be a truly great game, especially when dealing in a one-player adventure series, you need for the realization of all these elements if you hope to achieve a sense of memorability and replayability. While the series has its fair share of such titles, we've narrowed it down to the top five:

• Castlevania II: Simon's Quest: For its chancy foray in creating the RPG-fueled platform-adventure where the hero is free to determine his own destiny.
• Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse: For taking the classic play-style and exploding it to the nth degree by supplying allies and destinations equaling many.
• Castlevania: Symphony of the Night: For realizing and trademarking the RPG-adventure formula via a level of detail and depth never before seen.
• Dracula X: Rondo of Blood: For sticking to the basic tenets but never limiting the adventure thanks to nonstop action, exploration and discovery.
• Super Castlevania IV: For raising the bar in level design, controls and fun ideas while somehow keeping it grounded and feeling authentic.

If you know what's good for you, you'll click on the lizink and find out what's what."