"And the award for best sound selection goes to..."         

"And now, to bombard us with total lack of subtext and generally waste our time, I give to you the acceptee on behalf of Symphony of the Night--the foul and egregious Grim Reaper!"

"Nye-hee-hee! Thank you, thank you! I'd like to call it an 'honor,' but it somehow means so very little coming from a lucky punk like you!"

                                    "Lucky?!"

"That's correct, my oddly bearded friend. Had Reinhardt (who makes even less sense than you) not bailed you out by besting your estimated time of arrival, you would have surely lost to the Master and joined us in the underworld forever! He-he-he! Ha-hah-ha!"

"Why, endings have been known to lie! Did you see the endings to Simon's Quest? Men have gone mad trying to figure it out.

This is of no concern--I demand respect, you insidious wraith!"

"Yeah? Well, I demand that you stop looking like a constipated Jack Palance. And what? Is that a cross on your back or did the doctor forget to remove the stick from your--"

          "Hooo!"

"Someone rang?"                                                 

"What? N-no... not you. I--wow.

It's the same thing over and over with you guys. I'm trying to run an awards show here! I'm going to have to ask you to--"

"And just remember: Your delightfully doltish plan to resurrect Dracula through Malus was ruined by me!

Pah! You want a battle, you cloaked horror? Then let's put this thing to bed once and for all!"

"'To bed,' you say? Ah, I forgot that you enjoy sleeping amongst many hideous beasts, which would explain your three ex-wives and two kids."

                                    "You vermin!"

"Scum!"                                                                      

"COME INNNNNNNN AND PULL YOURSELF UP A CHAIR (LIKE CHAIRY!). LET THE FUN BEGIN, IT'S TIME TO LET DOWN YOUR HAIR! PEE-WEE'S SO EXCITED 'CAUSE HIS FRIENDS HAVE BEEN INVITED (THAT'S YOU!) TO GO WAAAAAACKY AT PEEWEE'S PLAAAAAYHOUSE. THERE'S A CRAZY RYTHM--"

"STOP IT! This is insanity!

We have a show to finish here! Or I would hope. They don't pay me enough for this!

It's unbelievable--eons of work, and what's my reward? They replace me with a Scottish chap who shows up less frequently than Lindsay Lohan's dad at family events. 'Oh, look at me--I'm all gung-ho!' "

"Speaking?"                                                 

               "GET OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!"

"Geh..."                                                 

               "DAH!"

"Take it easy, my inexplicably bereted ally."                     

 "I'm fi-WAHWAH... huh-wahwah... hurrrurrh... fuh-fine. Carry on."

"I shall, my friend. Rest easy while I say my piece.

Thus far, Symphony of the Night has been beneficiary of many well-deserved accolades, but none even come close when compared to how well it masters the melodic arts. Thanks to the supreme talents of Michiru Yamane, whose series' exploits began with Castlevania: Bloodlines, Symphony was afforded an orchestra-level feast of musical bliss--a proverbial smorgasbord of rhythm that includes such styles as rock, classical, rumba, disco, chant and many more. What else can we call her stunning work but a true 'symphony'? The game's CD-backed soundtrack is in fact so memorable that all titles following (and even some past) are judged by its standard. Every hall bursts with sound. And every castle section has its own coat of reverberation. No more is its effect prevalent than in the pure emotion sapped from the many gamers who visit the game again and again if not only to feel its soundtrack's raw empowerment.

No--the developers didn't stop there: In charge of sound was one Mr. Kasai, who followed up Super Castlevania IV and Rondo of Blood's respective festivals of sound with the richest assortment of effects ever heard in a series' title. Be it screams of agony and rage, the rattling of dislodged bones, fiery banishment, howls of despair, or violent implosion, Kasai makes you feel like a viral part of Symphony's world. The sensation of death has never been so finely stressed. It's something I can truly appreciate. And you should, too! As part of the Symphony crew, I thank you all by sending out my gravest ill will! Die horribly now, won't you?"

 "Absolutely! In fact, I encourage all previous speakers to act in accordance.

Now, then--let's move on and welcome our next speaker for the evening. In a sea of white-haired vagrants, it's good to find a hero whose style and image have gone unaffected by some unfortunate family genes. Ladies and gentleman, help me in welcoming that feisty youth and hero of Circle of the Moon. You know him as--"

                   "Thank you, dudes and dudettes!"

            "Now who the hell are you?"

            "The hero of Circle of the Moon, in person, dude!"

            "But it says here--"

"Dude, what's your problem?"                                     

                             "Dude!"

"Dude?"                                                

                             "Dude."

"Dude."                                                

                             "Dude!"

            "Dudes--I mean guys--can we move on with this?"

"Old dude totally told you off, dude."                                

           "Dude--no way, dude. He said yo' momma's fat."

"No, dude--he said yo' momma's so ugly, Medusa was stoned by her."                                

"No way, dude. He said yo' father so stupid, he saw a sign that said 'Castlevania Left,' so he went home."

"As if, dude. He said yo' momma's head so big, she uses a satellite dish as a Yamika."

"Ow, dude. But nay--he said yo' momma so stupid, she froze to death outside the theater waiting to see Closed for Winter."

"I said none of this. But I have a riddle for you, Hugh: What did the Tom Cruise-lookin' twit say as he fell down the abyss?" [hits a button to open up a large gap in the ground]

     "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!"

"Exactly!

Now, then, Nathan. Would you kindly present the nominees for the next award?"

"That was cold, dude. You totally dropped my friend down a hole!

... That rocked! Totally! Dudd-a-roooo - duddda-a-roooooo - bwah-bwooooow-wooooow vrah-dah-down-BWOWM!"

            "Just read the thing."

"Got it, dude.

You know something, dudes? Everyone goes on nowadays about 'graphics this' and 'graphics that.' You don't see a game come out that isn't judged directly by how it looks in screenshots, which is one of the deciding factors for misguided consumers. I can understand, though, because back in the day, 'Castlevania' was one of the series that stood front-runner in the graphics race. And it still does. Though, it did it in a way that was true to its content. With that in mind, what I'll always remember most is that it was never about piling colors onto the screen or pushing polygons--it was all about recreating a 'worn' world, a believable game universe highlighted by dreary decor, ominous setting, viral backgrounds, and special effects that brought to life the ravenous landscape. Every game has done this in its own unique way, but we've selected the five that best fit the bill:

• Akumajou Dracula X68000: For its gritty style in presenting a familiar world filled this time with nifty special effects and a bevy of fun gameplay ideas.
• Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow: For providing an all-around graphical feast of enemies and halls that make us forget that we're in a future time-period.
• Castlevania: Symphony of the Night: For a most ambitious effort in bringing to a whole new level two-dimensional enemy and stage design plus presentation.
• Dracula X: Rondo of Blood: For inviting us into a well-realized world thanks to an extraordinary amount of atmosphere supplied through pure nostalgia.
• Super Castlevania IV: For its interesting characters, its use of multi-layered scrolling backgrounds, and its mastery in rotating and scaling sprites.

All you have to do now, dudes, is click that gnarly yellow text below. Awesome!"