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Davey Review's Wrestle War 92

Well, now we go from Pay Per View heaven (Canadian Stampede) to the depths of wrestling hell (WCW Late 1990-1993). This was when WCW was without Flair and I belive Bill Watts was running the promotion at this point. WCW was looking to quick fix wrestlers (IE Junkyard Dog, Greg Valentine, Matt Borne, and the Freebirds) to try and stir something up. The big fued was Sting vs. Dangerous Alliance which actually became quite the great fued.

Jesse "The Mind" Ventura and Jim Ross are your hosts for tonight,

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bichoff talk about the matches to start. Tony only looks about 240 here. I fast forward since I can't stand Bischoff.

US Tag Title Match: Taylor Made Man and Greg Valentine vs. Freebirds (Jimmy Garvin and Michael "Dok" Hayes) It's Bill Alphonso. The crowd is really hot for the Freebirds for some odd reason. Hayes "dances" to start and by god is it embarrassing considering his rotund state at the time. Lots of stalling to start. Not too much to see in this match when Valentine is in there with the crappy Freebirds. I attended a WCCW show in 1985 with my Grandfather and the main event was Terry Gordy and Hayes vs. Kerry Von Erich and Kevin Von Erich in a Texas Tornado match. That is when the Freebirds were at their best. By far. Taylor totally carries both Freebirds throughout the match using a lot of cool Old Skool Mid-South heel tactics. Valentine whips Garvin into the turnbuckle and meets his boots and doing the classic "Valentine Flop" which I always liked more then the Flair Flop. The heels control Garvin until he makes the hot tag to Hayes. Hayes lays in some WEAK punches and teases the DDT on Valentine until Taylor catches him with the running forearm (Taylor's finisher at the time). Taylor does a sweet sweet sweet Sitting Doctor Bomb. Valentine comes in and starts working on the leg to set up the figure four. It gets pretty good from here as Valentine applies the figure four and Garvin saves Hayes with a elbow drop. Valentine lays in some hard chops as Taylor comes in. Taylor gets hit with the DEADLY LEFT HAND!! OH NO!! This gets good as the heels cannot fight of the face (Garvin). The finish is great as Garvin goes for the DDT on Taylor and Valentine runs at Garvon only to be backdropped with Valentine so Garvin can hit the DDT for the win. The crowd went totally insane for the win. Too bad most of the match sucked.

Match Rating: **

Ugh. More Tony and Bischoff. Bischoff is SUCH a terrible commentator. Bischoff and Tony say that if Johnny B. Badd beats Tracy Smothers "he will be in line for some title shots". HA!!

Johnny B. Badd vs. Tracy Smothers
Wow this is Pay Per View quality. Johnny exclaims, "I'M SO PRETTY!! I'M SO OUTRAGEOUS!! I'M THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL TIME!!". Hilarious. This gimmick is easily one of my favorites as fans put money in Johnny's shorts. I have forgotten how great Johnny was in terms of such a fantastic gimmick. The match is passable. Mero hits a lot of dropkicks and armdrags throughout. Smothers does a beautiful flying elbow from the top with a great camera angle. Smothers hits a twisting bodyblock but Mero rolls through for a two count. Lots of restholds as Ventura questions the lips on Mero's tights. Ross and Ventura make a really good announce team. Mero goes up top and executes a fantastic sunset flip off the top. Johnny B. Badd hits his stupid finisher (The Kiss That don't Miss) which is just a punch to the face for the win. It had some good stuff.

Match Rating: ***

A interview with the Freebirds. OH MY GOD IT'S PRESCIOUS?? Is she still alive? The whore of wrestling Missy Hyatt interviews them and smiles a bunch.

Marcus Bagwell vs. Scotty Flamingo
Ahhhh Scotty Flamingo. Of course Scotty Flamingo is Raven playing a HBK-type pretty boy character. Who knew that both these guys would become popular players in WCW 6 years later. This match is full of nothing because Bagwell is SO bad at this point. That's forgiven since he was a American Male and it spawned one of the greatest theme songs ever. Flamingo rolls through a rollup and grabs the tights for a victory. Bad match.

Match Rating: *

Junkyard Dog and Ron Simmons vs Cactus Jack and Mr. Hughes
Later becomes: Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons
Boy this is guaranteed to suck. Pre match has Cactus beating up JYD and doing the Cactus Elbow off the ramp to JYD on the floor sidelining him for the match. So somehow it becomes a singles match between Simmons and Hughes. Foley is in ultra psycho mode here as JYD is hurt "so badly" he has to leave that match. Whatever. Cactus does some of his best screeches ever on the outside. Besides Cactus's amusing antics on the floor this match is crap. JR is orgasming over Hughes and Simmons collegiate football career. Ventura gets a great line in asking JR, "Where did Cactus play Defensive Line?". Hughes spends most of the match pounding Simmons and every thirty seconds or so Simmons briefly comes back until he hits a shitty Spinebuster and a incredible stupid three point stance chop block FOR THE WIN??? What? Simmons beat Hughes with a tackle to the knee? Oh well the match sucked anyway.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Super Invader vs. Todd Champion
Why is this on PPV? Super Invader is Hercules under a ridiculous looking mask and he has this thing on his hand that used to look like that Claw thing for the old Nintendo systems. The most exciting thing is when the camera is on Race (Invaders Manager) and you get to see some of his blading scars. Super Invader wins with a powerbomb. A total uneeded squash.

Match Rating: DUD (which means zero stars under the Cornette star system)

Richard Morton vs. Big Josh
Big Josh is Matt Borne who later became the heel Doink of WWF. Again, why the fuck is this on Pay Per View? Big Josh is announced from being from "The North Woods". That's about the extent of the WCW creative team in 1992. This is another squash. Morton is way past his prime to be making stiffs like Josh look good. Josh gets his flannel shirt ripped during the match and Ventura unleashes a barrage of great lines. Josh hits the sitdown butt splash on Morton which is called "Northern Exposure". That's funny. Too bad the match was terrible.

Match Rating: 1/4*, worth checking out for Ventura's jokes though.

Light Heavyweight Title match: Z-Man vs. Flyin Brian Pillman
This is going to be good. Before pills and injuries Brian Pillman was in the upper echelon of great wrestlers. Tom Zenk was one of the many "lost wrestlers of the 90's" and right here was probably his best match ever. Pillman had just come off programs with Liger so his skills were top notch. Uh oh, it's the REALLY small Cincinati Bengal tights. Some great mat sutff to start that culminates in a kickass double armdrag. Fast paced and exciting as both guys work so well together. They do a cool rollup sequence with Z-Man trying to get the quick pin. Pillman lays in some sick chops and goes back to the mat. Pillman works over the leg using match psycholigy since Zenk's finisher is the top rope dropkick. They hit the mat again as Pillman slaps on a half crab until Zenk gets to his feet and hits a headscissors out of a enziguiri position. Pillman comes back and hits the figure four and both guys slap each other around as the crowd goes crazy. Pillman lays in some more sick chops. A great spot as Pillman slingshots himself at Zenk but Zenk catches him in a powerslam on the way down. Pillman hits a crucifix for a two. Pillman goes for a superplex but Zenk pushes him off and Pillman lands right on his neck. Ouch. Then Zenk goes up top and catches him with a crossbody causing Pillman to land directly on his head. SICK! Pillman and his disturbingly small tights send Zenk into the ropes but it's reversed and Zenk tosses Pillman up with a HUGE flapjack landing Pillman him right on the nose. Pillman goes up top a bit later and Zenk catches him with a high kick to the face. Zenk goes up top for his flying dropkick but misses and Pillman grabs the legs and flips over for a rollup for the three count. What a match.

Match Rating: ****1/4

Tatsumi Fujinami and Takayuki Iizuka vs. The Steiner Brothers
Fujinami was really starting to show his age at this point and Iizuka had the looking of a break out star in Japan but that never came to be. The Steiners were GODS at this point. The reaction to Scott at this point was "He must take steroids" instead of "DEAR GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN!!" that people scream now. Scott and Fujinami start out and Scott tries the Blockbuster Slam (Standing Moonsault Powerslam) on Fujinami but fucks it up landing right on his head. He tries it on Iizuka and hits it perfectly. I miss that move. Iizuka hits some quality turnbuckle moves and goes up top with a somersault bodyblock. Nice. At this point my taoe is interrupted by a local newscast with Chuck Wilson from Public Relations. Huh? The match comes back and Steiner hits the Tiger Driver. Scott picks him up in a Outsider edge position while tagging in Rick. Rick comes off the ropes hitting a elbow and on the way down Rick's thigh SMASHES Iizuka's face. Dear god that must have sucked. Iizuka is clutching his face and tags in Fujinami who gets dumped right on his head with German Suplex. Damn this is brutal. Iizuka's eye is puffed up and his nose is broken. Fujinami puts Rick on his shoulders and tags in Iizuka who goes up top for a cross body but RICK POWERSLAMS HIM OFF FUJINAMI'S SHOULDERS!! Just like he did at WM 9. Amazing. Fujinami lays in some hard kicks and puts on some leg submissions. Iizuka comes in and he is totally dazed and I would not be suprised if he has a concussion. Rick lays in a hard knee to the stomach and punches him right in his face. Scott executes a great Pumphandle Slam for two. Fujinami gets tagged in and runs over to smack Rick and Rick jumps in and Fujinami and Rick beat the shit out of each other with hard fists to the face. Fujinami puts Scott in a abdominal stretch into a rollup for two. That roll up was real cool. Iizuka comes in and gets caught in a Belly to Belly suplex. Scott ducks a double clothesline and Rick comes off the top with a double clothesline of his own. Iizuka comes back and dumps Scott on his head with a German Suplex. They follow that up with a neck fusing Spike Piledriver. Rick gets tagged in and suplexes the Japanese team out of there boots. Steiner hits a Belly to Belly Suplex off the top for the win. WOW!! What a great match. Horrifically stiff and brutal and Iizuka did a amazing job of keeping concious after getting his whole face smashed.

Match Rating: ****1/2

WARGAMES: The Dangerous Alliance (accompanied by Madusa and Paul E): Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson, Larry Zybysko, and Bobby Eaton vs. Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Nikita Koloff, and Barry Windham This is a WARGAMES. No Stevie Ray, no Roddy Piper, no one is even over 40 at this point. You have 3 fantastic wrestlers (Austin, Arn, and Steamer), 3 great wrestlers (Sting, Bobby Eaton, and Rick Rude), 2 passable guys (Windham and Zybysko) and 2 crappy wrestlers (Rhodes and Koloff). Everyone knows the WarGames rules so lets get to the match. Windham and Austin start. Lots of Brawling by both. Austin at one point dives from one ring to the other ring with a lariat. Austin is the first to taste the steel as Windham tosses him in. Windham grates Austin's head against the steel cage. Austin hits the first blade job of the match. A classic Austin blade job that will cover his whole face later in the match. The heels win the coin toss (have the faces EVER won the coin toss?) And Rude comes in to pound on Windham. Austin and Rude double team by tossing Windham in the cage a bunch of times. Windham blades. A passable blade job. Steamboat comes in next and is a house of fire. Steamboat DDTs both Austin and Rude. The faces work over the heels till Arn comes in and cleans house. Arn hits a EXCELLENT spinebuster on Steamboat. A double Boston crab on Steamboat is applied by Arn and Rude. Austin is just COVERED in blood. Rude smashes Rude with a piledriver. MY GOD THIS IS GREAT!!! Rhodes comes in next and hits his crappy offense of elbows and boots. They do a cool spot where Dustin goes for a inverted atomic drop and Asutin's head hits the top of the cage as he goes up. His foot is about 2 and a half feet away from Austin's face but Austin still sells it. Bleh. Larry Z comes in next and totally oversells Dustin's offense. Madusa starts climbing the cage and drops the Cell Phone to Rude. But Sting climbs the cage after her. The damage has been done though because the Alliance cleans house with the phone. Sting comes in next and goes CRAZY on the heels. He presses Rude and lifts him high enough to hit the cage repetedly. Sting tosses Arn into the cage and Arn does a obvious blade job unleashing a good sized gusher. Austin gets BACKDROPPED into the cage. Amazing. Somewhere in the fray Rhodes hits a SICKENING blade job. One of the bloodiest I have ever seen. Like father like son. Bobby Eaton comes in next. Rhodes hits the FAKEST looking boot I have EVER seen.His foot is about 2 and a half feet away from Austin's face but Austin still sells it. Bleh. Oh well, not every match can be perfect. OH NO IT'S KOLOFF COMING IN!! Koloff had been rumored to be joining the Dangerous Alliance at this point. Will he turn on his team? Was the story here. Koloff hits Anderson and helps Sting to his feet. Whoop dee doo he's not turning. All ten men are in the ring now. Koloff and Sting high five each other and Koloff misses the high five. Koloff can't even do that right. Rude takes apart the turnbuckle wrench. Zybysko grabs the turnbuckle wrench as Eaton holds Sting. Sting ducks out of the way and Eaton gets hit right in the arm. Sting puts a armbar submission on for the victory. Sting's team wins the match. And what a fantastic match it was. One of the best WarGames and one of the best matches of 1992. A unbelievable brawl.

Match Rating: ****3/4

Much like St. Valentines Day Massacre this card was saved by the final three matches. I would recommend checking it out for the final three matches and avoid everything else. Mostly everything else from 1992 by WCW was pure crap and this was arguably it's best Pay Per View from 1992. It was still trying to find a idenity after Flair left for the WWF which it finally found in 1994. Then Hogan signed and it went all downhill again only to be saved by the NWO in 1996. Then in 98 WCW sunk down to a horrible level again. WCW in this decade has been quite the odd journey.