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New EDGY AND HIP Intro

MrPerfectn Interview
Perf: "Last night, not only did I avenge a loss that should have been avenged long ago, but I made a new friend. So Andrew, COME ON OUT HERE PLEASE! I have an announcement to make!"

Battle Monkey: "Perf, please just call me Battle Monkey or BM. Calling me by my real name is ok, but don't let it happen again. By the way, thanks for saying that last part VERY LOUDLY."

Perf: "A man has to ask himself questions every once in a while, and sometimes he's gotta pop them. BM, will you be my tag team partner next week on Sloptro, when I face DOAskull & W46578 for the tag team titles?"

BM: "Well, I guess I have one word for you all. TES. Haha, now I guess we should...GET OUT. Haha, I said the thing like how you say."

Perf: "Yes. Very good."

Vince McMahon & Foleyite Interview
Vince: "After the events that took place last night, I must say that despite the anticlimactic finish we witnessed in the encounter between Mr. G Incognto and GHarb77, I cannot let a rematch occur. I cannot in good conscience allow these men to push each other to the brink of death again like that. As for the #1 contendership match, I would suggest that Mr. Yuri and KaneRobot are in CAHOOTS. And we can punish Yuri and KAAAGHHHNE the easy way.. or the hard way."

Foley: "Vince.. The Right One thinks you should fire them."

Vince: "You stay outta this. YOU stay outta this."

Crowd: "HAHAHA FAGGOTITE"

Vince: "Yuri, due to the controversial nature in which you became number-one contender, Mr. Foleyite will be getting the World title shot at Gettysburg Havoc, which will come to you live from Anaheim, California. However, we here at GX are all about giving the fans what they want. So tonight, YURI AND HARB WILL MEET FOR THE WORLD TITLE."

Foley: "Hey Vince, Shane's a pretty cool son, but can your son do this?" ::George Michael ass-shake::

Vince: "Yes. And he does quite well, mind you."

World tag team champions W46578 & DOAskull vs. Tenryu & Kitao
Nobody still knows who these Japanese guys are, but somehow they found a way to get a shot at the titles within 24 hours of their debut. The Kliq's representatives promised to "make a left on Blue Jay Way, turn right on Abbey Road and check [Tenryu and Kitao's] asses into Strawberry Fields Forever", and then proceeded to dropkick the Japanese duo. Tenryu was bulldogged and
thrown to the outside by Skull, as W4 sang Kitao a verse from "Happiness is a Warm Gun". The champs scored with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination and got the squash win. Before a celebration could commence, Harbcore champion Mr. ANTI, a chicken, Mini-ANTI and KaneRobot hit the ring and cleaned house.

Kane: "I'm pissed off at Mek. I'm also pissed at Foleyite. But I've got this issue to settle with you guys first. Damn, I have too many angles to put over here. Anyway, I almost won the tag titles by myself when the PE had them, so I'll meet you sorry bastards in a handicap match on Sloppy Night Heat."

ANTI: "AND I'LL MEET YOU TWO CRAZY SONS OF BIZITCHES IN A DARK CHICKEN COOP LATER TONIGHT, IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ANTI ONE IS COOKING! LMAO BABYCAKES!"

Womyns champion Miss T0Y vs. Christopher Lowell
The crowd was livid during this segment, due to Lowell and T0Y sharing fashion tips before their match for ten minutes. As soon as the bell rang, the two shook hands and wrestled a good old Greco-Roman style wrestling match.

Drunk Guy in Crowd: "COME ON YOU CANDYASS EXCUSE FOR A MAN BODYSLAM HER"

Lowell: "Ewwww, I'd have to touch her thing!"

After fifteen minutes of waistlocks and front facelocks, T0Y ran the ropes, slid under Lowell's legs and German suplexed him for the three-count. Following the match, the two shook hands, hugged and traded recipes.

Lowell: "T0Y, you sure gave me a good workout, girlfriend! Now is there any possible way you could set me up with Foleyite?"

T0Y: "Oh yeah! I think it's cool that Mr. Foleyite is out of the closet, personally. We're gonna go shopping at the GAP later this week. You're welcome to join us. I think you and Mr. Foleyite will hit it off!"

Lowell: "Good for meeee!"

Foleyite and T0Y Brother #3 Run Into Vince McMahon Backstage
Foleyite: "Vince, I have all the booking power AND a World title shot in my own backyard? How can I ever repay you?"

Vince: "Just knowing that there's a young, gay man out there with the booking genius to one day become the next Pat Patterson? That, my friend, is all the reward I need. You know.. you and T0Y Brother #3 make a nice couple. Now go on, give your boyfriend a kiss!"

Foley: "Um, no. He's not my boyfriend. Vince, I have a confession to make. I'm not..you know.."

Vince: "It's such a relief to have you around, Foley. By god, I'd never let a straight man run this company."

Foley: ::jams tongue down T0Y Brother #3's throat::

[Fellow Kliq members Miss T0Y and MekZhaoyun and walk by.]

Mek: "OH MY GOD."

T0Y: "Told ya so, Mek! Mr. Foleyite, I hope you and my brother aren't serious. Christopher Lowell is looking forward to going out with you."

Foley: "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I SWEAR! I'M NOT GAY! I'll PROVE IT, DAMMIT." ::jams tongue down T0Y's throat::

T0Y: "Heh. There must a different technique to kissing guys.... because that was REALLY weird."

Foley: "Bah. It's YOU. T0Y Brother #3 knows how to kiss, dammit."

Mek: "Sweet jesus, you ARE gay. Not that it matters, dude. Can you like..not stand so close to me, though. Damn."

G Incognto Interview
G: "Some people think it's 'cool' or 'funny' to talk about burning commons. Well, it's not a laughing matter. Everyne overlooks commons, but they are valuable in their own right. They may only be worth 7 cents to you, but they're priceless to me. Jobber4WCW, you cost me the World title, so tonight I'm gonna cost you your title."

Impromptu Match: Intercontinentally challenged champ Jobber4WCW vs. Reverend G Incognto
Jobber sprinted to the ring with a flaming Delino DeShields 1993 DonRuss card and tossed it at G's face. The Reverend ducked, took the champ down with a double-leg takedown and applied the "Salinas Pepper". Jobber tapped out within 8 seconds.

WCWSchvnne: "IT'S NOT THE WORLD TITLE, BUT G FINALLY HAS A TITLE HERE IN GX! IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME."

Vince McMahon: "Woah, woah, woah. This match was NOT sanctioned by Godwinneration X. Therefore this impromptu match means nothing, and Jobber4WCW is still your Intercontinentally challenged champion."

G: "JESUS CHRIST. Who the hell do I have to boff around here to win a damn title?"

Vince: "Me or Foleyite."

BAHUMUTH and Outkast Interview
BAHU: "I may not have beat MrPerfectn at the slop-per-view, but I want will not be subjected to this any longer. Men kissing men? What kind of show are you guys running here? And YOU, Kast. Hanging around with Kuno Powers like a little SLUT."

Outkast: "Do you know why I spend so much time with Kuno? I have fun with Kuno. And he makes me feel beautiful. When's the last time you told me how beautiful I was, BAHU? I'm wearing a new shirt. And you didn't even notice. I'm not yours ANYMORE."

Outkast attempted to hit his owner, but BAHU held Outkast's arms to keep from being hit. As BAHU laughed and mocked Outkast, Kuno Powers came from behind and slaughtered BAHU with a lethal chairshot.

Kuno: "OUT .. WITH THE CRACKBABIES. IN... WITH THE REVOLUTION."

Outkast: "That doesn't rhyme. But I like it."

World champion GHarb77 vs. Yuri
WCWSchvnne: "Fans, I believe this may be the biggest main event we've ever had here on Sloptro! Hell, this is probably a bigger deal than most main events you see on Nitro."

"Sexy Boy" blared throughout the sold-out GX Arena, as Yuri was escorted to the ring by his loving mother, who sat at ringside for the biggest match of her son's life to date. The glass then broke as Harb made his entrance, and Drunk Guy in Crowd sat up too fast and upchucked nachos all over Yuri's mother. Harb wasted no time throwing his Queen Amidala vest into the crowd and working over the Heartbreak Kid of AOL with hard right hands. As if there are "soft right hands". Well, there are actually. That's how people become hand models. Didn't you see that episode of Seinfeld? Anyway, Harb scored with his patented moves early: Thesz press, elbowdrop, clothesline, 1980s Magic Johnson-style behind-the-back pass, etc. After two minutes of pure domination, Harb walked into a Yuri drop toehold and countered an early Sharpshooter attempt. Yuri then tried to apply a Taz-mission, but Harb backed Yuri into the corner and elbowed his face until Yuri crumpled to the canvas.

WCWSchvnne: "I haven't seen action like this since Christopher Lowell and Jim J. Bullock wrestled backstage. And that was a different kind of action altogether."

Harb charged at Yuri in the corner, but the youngster moved out of the way and Harb's shoulder met the ringpost. Yuri hit Harb with the Nervous Breakdown, but only got a two-count. At this point, the tag team champions W46578 & DOAskull made their way to ringside and began harrassing Yuri's mother.

Skull: "Listen up, you old bag. They say home is where you hang your hat but that's bullshit since I have a lot of hats and I hang them wherever I want. And I feel like hanging my new Sgt. Pepper hat that W4 gave me as a gift on your prosthetic leg. So unscrew that sucker and stop giving the tag champs shit, old lady."

W4: "BABY, YOU'RE A RICH MAN."

Yuri's Mother: "AJHGSFIHSSHSHKSOHS"

Skull: "SHUT your MOUTH, toothless."

The tag champs then unscrewed the leg off and attacked Yuri with it, causing a DQ win for St. Louis' "Heartbreak Kid". Mr. ANTI hit the ring and a brawl ensued, as Foleyite and the T0Y Brothers appeared on the GodwinnTron in a bed backstage.

Foley: "Everyone out there keeps chanting "FO-LEY'S GAY, FO-LEY'S GAY". And I guess we look pretty gay, the five of us guys in a bed together. Well, I've gotta ask you. WHO'S GAY NOW?!?!"

Harb's old squeeze Karla popped up from under the sheets and waved in the ring's direction, as an OUTRAGED Harb ran to the back.

WCWSchvnne: "DON'T TELL ME...NO...GOD NO."

As Foley, Karla and the T0Y Brothers laughed it up, KaneRobot knocked down the door to their room and began thrashing the place. Foley screamed like a woman and put a lampshade over his crotch, before being chokeslammed onto the bed.

Someone Stands Outside the GX Arena With a "Little Mermaid" Towel Over His Head
Strange Person: "Returning will be MAGNIFIQUE. Is my countdown promo thing over yet?"

Vince McMahon: "Not yet, son. Not yet."

WCWSchvnne: "WHAT IN THE HELL!?!?!? NO!!!!!! NO DAMMIT NO!!!!!!!!"

[Fade to black.]