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New EDGY AND HIP Intro

Commisioner Yuri Interrupts a Special Announcement From Foleyite
Yuri: "Foleyite, I have had a very bad day and I'm tired of this BS. I'm not letting you pull anything at Good Friends Better Enemas so MY SURPRISE IS THIS SAY HELLO TO YOUR SPECIAL REFEREES FOR OUR MATCH DUDE BRET HART AND WTF THE HEARTBREAK KID SHAWN MICHAELS DUDE And I just wanna say in my Godfather voice WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK AND THEN MOM GAVE US SOME F'N CAKE NOW HIT MY MUSIC BROTHA"

Foley: ::makes melodramatic hand motions with every word he says:: "I knew all about this 'surprise' of yours, Yuri. And we all know that Bret and Shawn won't be able to co-exist in the same ring. Therefore, a third special referee is needed. Oh yes! A third..special..referee! I apologize for acting like Shane McMahon, but it's so hard NOT to. Anyway, since I lost all my booking power and YOU'RE the Commish, I really can't do anything. However, what you don't know is that I sold GX a long time ago. And unlike DDP's benefactor, my angle will actually be resolved. So Mr. Benefactor, would you please come on DOWN HERE! BOOYAH!"

"No Chance in Hell" began to play VERY LOUDLY, as the WWF's Vince McMahon made his way to the ring, sporting that patented 'haha, you fools' smirk.

Vince: "Surely, the era of young men who mark out for psychotic Canadian has-beens and midgets working for that other federation in Philadelphia is most definitely passe. Therefore, on September 12 at the In Your Pants slop-per-view, all members of the GX Kliq will have the authority to be the third special referee in a match to determine the number-one contender. We here at GX Entertainment Inc. also feel that it's time to once again turn all booking power over to Mr. Foleyite. I know I can trust Foley, as I have never had any problems with working with homosexual bookers."

Foley: "VINCE?!?"

Vince: "Foley, please. I assure you that I am not homophobic, and I am not above giving you a good old-fashioned handshake."

Foley: "Oh boy."

["Quantum Leap" theme plays.]

Harbcore champion Mr. ANTI vs. DOAskull
Living up to his reputation, ANTI came to the ring escorted by a midget covered in honey. Fans erupted as the the twosome hit the ring and breakdanced to Mariah Carey's "Honey", proving yet again why they call ANTI 'the most lovable man on AOL'. The Kliq's DOAskull arrived with W46578, a table and a new mean streak at his side. Skull dominated the match from the get-go with headbutts and kicks, but lost momentum when Mini-ANTI schoolboyed the Kliq member. ANTI handcuffed Mini-ANTI to Skull's table and stripped down to his NEW! GX: LMAO BABYCAKES! boxers, when the rest of the Kliq hit thering and assaulted the ANTI One. Jobber4WCW, MekZhaoyun, DOAskull, and W46578 took turns slapping him, and called for KaneRobot to come out. KaneRobot casually walked to to the ring and gave ANTI a soft kick to the back. The other Kliq members urged Kane to put some heart into it, and Kane fulfilled their wishes by kicking ANTI again. As the Kliq laughed it up, Kane punched the canvas. Having people tell him to beat up his friends MACE Kane emotional.

Miss T0Y & The Princes of the Universe Backstage
T0Y: "I knew."

Mek: "Knew what?"

T0Y: "Mr. Foleyite always did have a weird, effeminate side...."

Mek: "Foley is NOT..you know. He's just thin and likes to be tidy."

Kane: "....."

Mek: "Dude, he's not gay, he's just gentle. Not that it would change anything, if he was.. you know."

Intercontinentally challenged champ Jobber4WCW & Foleyite (With The T0Y Brothers) vs. Rick Parka and Yuri
Before the match, Yuri told the crowd stories about Spike Huard. Spike who? No one in the crowd understood a damn thing he said. Yuri also promised Rick that they'd stop by Arby's, if they won their match tonight. The Kliq representatives then entered the arena and sickened the crowd with their dancing and their Mexican wrestling. "FOLEY'S GAY" chants rang throughout the arena, but Foleyite seemed to like it. Foley and Jobber recieved a clothesline to the outside as they hit the ring, followed up by a Yuri baseball side that knocked one of Foley's teeth out. Parka dragged Jobber back to thering, where a big splash gave Rick the first near-fall of the match. As Foley leapt into T0Y Brother #4's arms and licked a lollipop that the T0Y Brothers had stolen from Yuri, Rick delivered a "Bubba Bomb" and got the quick three-count on the Intercontinentally challenged champ. As Rick and Jobber fought to the back, Foley and the T0Y Brothers continued to humiliate St. Louis' "Heartbreak Kid".

Foley: "Get his sweatpants off! THE SWEATPANTS! GET 'EM OFF! BOOYAH!"

Foley grabbed at Yuri's crusty sweatpants, as more "FOLEY'S GAY" chants erupted. T0Y Brother #1 stole Yuri's crusty sweatpants and T0Y Brother #2 held Yuri back, as Foley offended the capacity crowd with the ol' George Michael ass-shake.

The GX Kliq Backstage
Kane: "Did I just see what I think I saw? Because what I think I just saw was T0Y Brother #2 holding Yuri back, as you did your George Michael ass-shake. And you had T0Y's Brothers hold Yuri back last night for the ass-shake. In case you've forgotten, I'M the one who holds people back, as you do the George Michael ass-shake."

Foley: "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HOLDS THE PERSON BACK, AS I DO THE GEORGE MICHAEL ASS-SHAKE! Tell me, Kane. Do you like Mentos?"

T0Y Brother #1: "HAHA HE BOUT TO DISS YO ASS FOO"

Kane: "Foley, I'm not falling for that lame line. Now stop acting like you're The Rock, and get your damn act together."

Foley: "MENTO YOUR ASS BACK TO MICHIGAN!!!"

T0Y Brother #1: "OHHHH HAHAHAHAH BOYEEEE YOU JUST GOT WORKED"

Kane: "That didn't even make any sense, bub. And this isn't the only problem I have with you, 'Right One'. We just went out there and beat on ANTI. Hell, we beat on the most lovable man on AOL. And why? Why Bret why? Is ANTI not human? Does he not deserve the right to wrestle without us harrassing him?"

Foley: "OH COME ON! We were just messin' around IF YA SMEEEEELL... sigh. Maybe you're right .. about me acting like The Rock too much, that is."

MrPerfectn vs. Outkast
A dispassionate Outkast slowly sulked towards the middle of the ring and laid on his back. The confused Perf made a lateral press and pinned Outkast for the win. Outkast buried his head in his hands and began hitting his head against the second turnbuckle, and Perf realized he had to do SOMETHING.

Perf: "Nobody should have to be in an abusive relationship, Outkast. You can just leave him."

Outkast: "It's not that easy. BAHU doesn't take no for an answer. 'Job to this guy'. 'Do this'. You just don't understand, MrPerfectn."

Kuno Powers, who was sharing a front-row seat with Hat Guy, hopped the railing and tried to comfort Outkast, as an emotional crowd looked on.

Outkast: "Kuno, I need your help. He wanted me to come out here tonight and sing "I'm So Excited". I don't even know all the WORDS to that song. I'm so exciiited. I'm so exciiiited.. I'm so...scared."

Outkast buried his face in Kuno's chest, and Kuno hugged his friend 'til the end, brah. Tracey Gold, Tiffani Amber-Thiessen and several other actresses who can only find work in TV movies gave the segment a standing ovation.

'Mean' Gene Interviews Battle Monkey
Gene: "BM, it looks like your opportunity to rape BAHUMUTH won't be happening here tonight."

BM: "Gene.. there's a cancer in this company. You know what I'm talking about. On September 12, I will take great pleasure in seeing MrPerfectn beat BAHU. And then, when it is all said and done, I will rape some respect into the crackbaby."

[Merogal13 walks by in a thong and has a catfight with Miss T0Y in the hallway.]

Gene: "OH MY!!!!!!"

BM: "I really don't like this new adult direction of GX. Put some pants on her for God's sake. As I was saying, I'll rape BAHU's ass on September 12 and that's really all I have to say about that."

World tag champs The Princes of the Universe vs.World champion GHarb77 & G Incognto (With Malaki100)
The trailer for "Episode 1: The Phantom Menace" played on the GodwinnTron, and the team of G, Mal and Harb entered the arena to the loudest pop of the night. The crowd went wild, as the two most popular men in GX history punched and kicked away at the tag team champions. As Mal waved a purple handkerchief around to stir up support, Harb lifted Kane up for a slam and Kane's leg caught G in the face. An argument between G and Harb followed. The Princes quickly left the ring with their belts and took the count-out loss, as the argument escalated.

Mal: "Don't be guys. Be MEN. This is silly."

G: "You're right. Do you wanna watch 'Return of the Jedi' with us, Harb?"

Harb: "DO I?! Oh hell yeah!"

WCWSchvnne: "Well.. G and Harb will go one on one in 6 days..there's really not much tension between them, so it's hard to rant and rave about it. I need a staredown to work with here, people. Plus, Des isn't in the rafters this week, so...I guess that's it for this week, fans. I think."

::wolf howl::

[Fade to black.]