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GX Monday Sloptro
Live from the GX Arena in Bitters,Arkansas
06/21/99
[Disclaimer: Read GX Monday Sloptro's intro along with {S GX! And if you're not satisfied with this week's Sloptro, your next mattress is FREEEE! ]

GX Intro

Posse (GX World champion BAHUMUTH, IC champ DaveyDog30,Tag champs Pumpkin Express, Charisma93, MattyDog30, W46578, JimmyXite) Interview
Charisma: "Miss T0Y?! You think your slutty, cocksucking ass one-upped the hottest woman to ever grace GX? You just made a big mistake, bitch. In Your Pants: Fully Bloated. Me and Matty will take you and whoever's dick you suck on the way to work that day in a mixed tag match. And with my man Davey booking? Get ready for a screwin', Bruin."

::BAHU and Davey laugh and mockingly give the crowd crotch-slops::

GHarb77: "HEY!!!!! You two mock GX and you think it's all fun and games, but let me tell you something. You can't kill GX. Unless we all die in hotel rooms or fall 80 feet during a Sloptro or something."

BAHU: "Harb, you poor, pathetic loser. Where are all your friends? Where's Foleyite? Where's Des? Where's Perfectn?"

Harb: "Foleyite's injured. Perf's at home because he's so DISTRAUGHT over what you guys have done to GX! And Des is having a very minor knee surgery."

Davey: "Ok, so Foleyite's injured....Des is having..that minor knee surgery that's been floating around. I know that one well. Perf's at home....and you're ALL alone impersonating Jim NEIDHART of all people, Harb."

Harb: "I'm not alone, Disney-boy. G, Skull, Kane, and ANTI are here."

Davey: "Oh yeah. Well, after last night on Heat, you and G will get your penises handed to you on a plate. Tonight: DAVEY AND BAHU vs. G AND HARB. "

BAHU: "HARB AND G, YOU FUCKING LOSERS! YOU'RE GOING DOWN TONIGHT!"

Davey: "Dare I say it? BAHU is....RIGHT! HAHAHA!!! CRY ABOUT IT!"

World tag team champions The Pumpkin Express (Ben Bibby & The Sax) vs. The No Talent Soldiers (Muta4Ever & Outkast)
Muta and Outkast came to the ring, with their hippin' and their hoppin', and got a pretty decent face pop. A tear of joy rolled down Muta's face. A drop of beer rolled down Drunk Guy In Crowd's mouth, as he nearly died of toxic shock syndrome. Outkast and The Sax started the match, and Sax quickly took control. "O-Dawg" reversed a whip into the No Talents' corner and Muta nailed Sax with an IMPRESSIVE high cross body from the top. Outkast and and
Muta were so shocked that they pulled off a double-team move, that they just stood around singing Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" and didn't pay attention to The Sax,Ryan123Kid and Bibby beating the bejesus out of them. All of a sudden, a sober KaneRobot emerged from the back and beat the hell out of all three PE members with a mop.

WCWSchvnne: "I'm in shock! Kane being allies with Outkast and Muta??"

FUSS: "iM iN shOCk too. KaNE is atChUALLLY SOBeR tHis WeEk"

Vignette
Guy With Handlebar Moustache: "He came in and asked fa four doughnuts shaped like a boombox that would play VERY LOUD rap music. I looked up..and it was him! And then..and then..man..it was like..remember that movie..or that song..forget it. "

::camera zooms in on Dunkin' Donuts logo::

Harbcore champion W46578 & JimmyXite vs. DOAskull & "AOL's Most Lovable Man" Mr. ANTI
Before the match, Jimmy got on the mic,called himself the "greatest entertainer on AOL" and then said he had a message for Merogal13. Jimmy started singing "Buffalo Gals" and an enraged Mr. ANTI attacked him with a green plastic watering can. Skull hit the ring, and hit W4 with a 2-liter bottle of Hawaiian Punch. Skull then attempted a bulldog, but W4 threw him off as Skull left his feet. Jimmy caught Skull and powerbombed him, but then recieved
a hockeystick up the anal area thanks to ANTI. W4 pinned Skull, but ANTI broke it up. ANTI worked over W4 and hit him with a Tiger Suplex for a two-count. Jimmy grabbed Drunk Guy in Crowd's chair, and took the ref out with it. Jimmy hit ANTI with chairshots, until ANTI's face resembled a plate of Ragu. W4 gave Skull the EYERAKE OF DEATH, causing the timekeeper to frantically ring the bell and declare the match a no-contest. After GX officials and
Drunk Guy In Crowd broke the fight up, ANTI grabbed the mic.

ANTI: "LMAO! Jimmy, you Ragu-eating little troll, I want another shot at you and your bitch W4. It doesn't get anymore harbcore than marking out for fat chicks and feces-eaters, and I was SCREWED out of that belt last week. At In Your Pants, make it a three-way DACE for the Harbcore belt."

Skull: "Woah, hold up there, old man. No offense asshole, but I've been after W4 and the Harbcore belt for months. Make this a FOUR-way DACE, if it's gonna happen. And it will happen...IN YOUR PANTS."

ANTI: "LMAO!!! Get in there and smack it around you funky cold medina drinkin' sexgod!"

Skull: "The next event is called In Your Pants..."

ANTI: "It's still funny."

DOAskull/Foleyite/AG Taped Segment
Nurse: "Mr. Foleyite, I'm afraid you won't have your own room anymore. They're moving another patient in here."

Foleyite: "BOOOOO. Cripples suck."

::Patient is wheeled into the room::

Foleyite: "Well, if it isn't our Transformer-loving friend Mr. MekZhaoyun."

DOAskull: "Foleyite is right."

AG: "The boys were just telling me about the Sloppies."

Mek: "That rules. Hey AG, have you seen "Transfomers: The Movie"?"

AG: "..."

Foleyite: "Dude."

Mek: "Yeah yeah, I know.

World champion BAHUMUTH & Intercontinentally challenged champ DaveyDog30 vs. "King of Harbs" GHarb77 & Reverend G Incognto
Davey came to the ring in his SWANKY blue and yellow Posse jacket, waving tickets to Disneyland around, with BAHU by his side. G and Harb entered the ring together. They were holding hands and singing "Seasons in the Sun". Anyway, then a match happened. Davey slapped Harb,and Harb returned the favor. Davey knocked Harb silly with some left hands, did the "Dessert Dance" and then missed a right hand. Harb with a series of clotheslines. G with some
inspired cheerleading on the outside. BAHU with Fetal Alchohol Syndrome (FAS). With three minutes gone, Harb tagged in G, and the Reverend wasted no time nailing Davey with the "Holy Roller" for a two-count. G then attempted a frankensteiner, but got caught and was powerbombed. Davey tagged in the World champ, as Harb wandered over to the heels' corner.

Harb: "Davey, how can you put up with Char and her extra-large panties?"

Davey: "Because she puts up with me and MY EXTRA LARGE PENIS!!!!!!"

With that, Davey and Harb did a little fighting, made a little war and pretty much got down that night. Meanwhile, BAHU dominated GX's Holy Man in AND OUT of the ring. Davey got set to execute a move from the top rope to the outside, but Harb leapt on the apron and TOSed Davey to the cement floor. BAHU threw a right hand at Harb, but Harb blocked and nailed BAHU with a right of his own. As BAHU staggered, G came from behind with the Backdrop Driver
From Above. One. TWO. THREE. Some fruity booty dressed up as Winnie the Pooh attacked Harb on the outside, and Davey and BAHU soon joined him. G scaled the ropes and flew into all four men with a corkscrew moonsault.

WCWSchvnne: "BAH GOD, LESS THAN A YEAR AGO, HE WAS JOBBING TO INANIMATE OBJECTS! NOW HE'S JUST PINNED THE GODDAMN WORLD CHAMPION!"

FUSS: "Calm down,man. Every week you do this. Getting all worked up at the end."

WCWSchvnne: "Well, it oughta hold the SOBs."

FUSS: "Shh. I think we're still on the air."

WCWSchvnne: "Ooh, I wouldn't wanna offend the little SOBs."

[Fade to black.]