GX Monday Sloptro
Live from the Rick Parka's Mom Palace In San Francisco, CA
06/07/99
[Disclaimer: Read GX Monday Sloptro's new intro to the brand-new {S GX!]
NEW GX Intro
Footage of: Mr. ANTI running around a chicken coop with his pants down,
Hardcore Holly's infamous one-night only appearance in GX at "In Your
Pants: Bound for the Floor", MrPerfectn holding the GX World title
high above, GHarb77 stunning Charisma93, DaveyDog30's tombstone off the
ramp on Foleyite at "In Your Pants: G-Raided", Drunk Guy in Crowd
yelling at MekZhaoyun, Reverend G Incognto on the mic, DesDev holding the
Intercontinentally challenged
title high, DOAskull at the Sloppies and Miss T0Y being stripped nude.
Posse Interview
Conspicuous by his absence was BAHUMUTH, as DaveyDog30, JimmyXite, Charisma93,
W46578, some young-looking kid and the Pumpkin Express entered the ring
to "No Chance in Hell". Davey said that BAHU wasn't here and that
he had the "keys" for the night, and that things would go down
the "Davey Way". Davey bashed the new talent Foleyite brought
in, such as MekZhaoyun and KaneRobot. "The Sax" Steve Holler and
MattyDog30 were introduced to the Sloptro
crowd, who went on to sing "Sexy Boy". Charisma93 kissed Matty
and promised to show him "the big box" when he's old enough. Sick.
Just then, Outkast appeared at the top of the entrance ramp.
Outkast: "Last week, I was FIAHED by the Posse! Well, THIS is a REAL
brotherhood,brada!"
Davey: "What brotherhood? I only see you, and Muta4Ever hiding behind
the curtains."
Muta: "HEY! I have my own gang now! We call ourselves LOS ..BORICUAS!"
Outkast: "Whoa, cool. You got the Boricuas? I couldn't find anyone
to be in a stable led by me."
Muta: "Actually, they called me back and I couldn't understand a word
they were saying. But I think it meant no."
As Muta and Outkast rambled on, they were viciously assaulted by the Posse.
King of the Dong Qualifying Match: Reverend G Incognto vs. "Iceman"
Benny Bibby
G got a huge face pop for the first time in a long time. A few fans had
signs like "U CANT TEAR THIS WALL DOWN". Damn smart marks. Bibby
appeared on the GodwinnTron with fellow Pumpkin Express members Ryan98Degrees
& The Sax.
Bibby: "I've suffered a head injury playing b-ball. My chance to become
king is gone, but that's ok, you fob. That crown wouldn't have fit my head
anyway. Now G, in China, we have a saying. GX sucks and I whooped your asses.
Hahaha. Anyway, they won't let Ryan3Giants3Rings1Winner take my place since
he's been eliminated from the tourney already. And Saxy boy's been suspended
for layin' the smack down on Mek's tree-hugging shoe salesman ass. So G,
I've got somebody from your past to face you. Now get outta my face."
The Brood's music played, and BAG OF POPCORN made his way down the aisle.
G mouthed "sonuvabitch" and looked rather shocked. As BOP entered
the ring, G immediately went to work and hit BOP with a Backdrop Driver
From Hell for the pinfall win.
G Incognto: "Ya know, if six months ago, you said G Incognto would
main event a GX Slop-per-view, people woulda laughed. Well, I proved everyone
WRONG! REVEREND G INCOGNTO....is..the ANOMALY of GX. And Charisma93? You
came out here last week sayin' I couldn't cut the mustard? Well,Char, you
SUCK PAL. And you didn't suck very well, so I don't think you have any room
to be talkin' about anybody cuttin' any kind of mustard."
King of the Dong Qualifying Match: W46578 vs. ROMER
Before the match could get underway, GUNN appeared at ringside with a case
of Zima. Drunk Guy in Crowd hopped the railing and tried to steal the Zima,
causing a brawl between GUNN and DGIC. Lutair screamed that Sloptro encourages
kids to drink alchohol and began beating on Homophobic Screaming Guy. SlayJ
went after Lutair with a chair, and a guy in the crowd wearing polkadots
joined the fray. A black kid in the crowd screamed that Lutair "did
that himself".G1017P, who was wearing a Flash Funk costume attacked
SlayJ with a slop bucket. Dead Guy From Suddenly Susan was thrown into the
mix just for fun. ROMER shocked the crowd by performing a corkscrew moonsault
onto the reckless diehard Sloptro fans and was counted out. W4 advances
into the KOTD tourney, live, only on slop-per-view June 13! Oh ho!
BAHUMUTH Segment
BAHU is seen on the Golden Gate Bridge, holding MrPerfectn's GX World title.
BAHU: "Perfectn, you piece of trash. I've got your title and I'm out
here on the Meeee Likey You Bridge in San FrancisCole,California. Now I'll
take this from you officially on Sunday, but I'm giving you a chance to
get the title back here tonight. Come down here before Sloptro ends, and
you'll get your title back. If not, I'll TOS this thing into the dirty water
below."
Charisma93 Interview
Char talked about DaveyDog30, MattyDog30 and the "big box" for
ten minutes, and eventually challenged Miss T0Y to walk dat aisle and give
Char another title shot. The Womyns champion came out and gladly accepted
the challenge. Before the bell rang, MattyDog30 shoved T0Y from behind.
As T0Y turned around to face the young whippersnapper, Char grabbed her
by the hair and threw her on her back. Matty and Char ripped T0Y's daisy
dukes off, as
T0Y struggled to escape. Char hurriedly ripped T0Y's panties off, as Davey
made his way to the ring with a mic in his hand. Matty and Char pinned T0Y's
arms to the ground.
Davey: "Go ahead,you WHORE. Wriggle, it's more fun that way. Now T0Y,
it's time for you to FEEL....THE....MASTER....OF.....CUNNILINGUS!! Damn,
I need a shorter nickname.. I'm almost out of breath..and you will be after
tonight,T0Y!"
As Davey dropped to his knees, DesDev entered the ring, yanked Davey back
by his hair right into a SLOP DROP.
T0Y: "Wooo hooo!!! Thank you, Mr. Dev!"
Des: "Whoa, whoa. Don't jump into my arms yet."
Des put on some rubber gloves to huge laughs and applause. T0Y put her hands
on her hips and tilted her head sitcom-style.
Foleyite/AG/DOAskull Promo
Footage of DOA and Foley running through a park in skimpy shorts and "Relax"
T-Shirts is seen as Billy Joel's "My Life" plays. Skull trips
up Foley, who is wearing a surgical halo, and the two share a laugh. The
promo cuts to footage of the AG feeding DOA and Foley grapes, and then the
threesome in a kitchen together.
Foleyite: "I'm not drinking pure egg. SICK. I like hot dogs."
DOAskull: "Think about DaveyDog30 putting you out of action to book
Sloptro again."
Foleyite: ::Vince McMahon voice:: "I HATE DAVEYDOG!"
AG: "And if you drink it all up, later I'll..."
Foleyite: "ALL DONE, now what were you saying about later??"
AG: :)
Foleyite: "I'm a lucky man."
DOAskull: " Hey now, you may have the AG, Fole. But you don't have
two Sloppies. WHOO!"
Foleyite: "He's right, you know."
DaveyDog30 & JimmyXite vs. Intercontinentally challenged champ DesDev
& GHarb77
The guy in the crowd wearing polkadots had a huge "GHEARB77 HAS HARB"
sign. Clever young man. The match began with a Des/Davey staredown reminiscent
of Hogan & Andre. They were seen mouthing: "you sonuvabitch",
"so how's the wife?" and "Harb and I are heading to Arby's
after the show, you're welcome to join us." Des quickly took control
of the match, focusing on Davey's storied back injury. After several minutes,
Jimmy flew into the ring
and hit Des with a flying dropkick, causing Harb to enter the ring. The
ref held Harb back, as Davey and Jimmy double-teamed Des in typical heel
team fashion. Davey tagged out to Jimmy, and Jimmy slapped a sleeperhold
on Des. Harb kept telling Des to "use the force". After 6 minutes,
Harb finally gave up and broke kayfabe. "Just use my damn finisher
to counter the move,so we can move on to the hot tag." Des Slop Cold
Stunned Jimmy to escape the
sleeper, and made the hot tag to Harb. Harb cleaned house until Charisma93
strutted to ringside and blew Davey and Jimmy kisses. The heel team laughed
and gave Harb crotch-slops, when from behind came THE AG with a double low-blow.
Harb and Des hit the heels with simultaneous DDTs and then gave Charisma
crotch-slops. Des and Harb made the pin,but got two-counts. The heels then
reversed a pair of Irish whips and hit the lovable GXers with clotheslines
and hugged each other.Mr. ANTI then hit the ring and began brawling with
Jimmy, but was quickly beaten down by both Jimmy and Davey and kicked to
the curb, girlfrayyynd. DOAskull came out with a chair but was tackled by
W4 before making it halfway up the entrance ramp. Charisma93 entered the
ring and CSG-Bombed Harb,as the ref was distracted by Des and Davey brawling
on the outside. The ref turned around as Jimmy pinned Harb. One. Two. Three.
T0Y
came out, wearing her old cut-off Folepack shirt and went at it with Char,as
Jimmy hit a weakened Harb with the Damn Damnanator.
Jimmy: "Damn. Harb, you have no woman, no friends, no life and I just
kicked your loser ass. Damn."
BAHUMUTH/MrPerfectn Segment
Perfectn arrived and he and BAHU immediately went at it. Perf attempted
to hiptoss BAHU over the bridge, but BAHU reversed it and Perf was hanging
on the edge of the bridge. BAHU gave Perf a crotch-slop,told him to "go
back to Bitters" and slapped him. A dummy wearing a GX shirt fell from
the bridge. Poor Drunk Guy in Crowd, he could have died doing that. Anyway,
BAHU threw Perf's title off of the bridge toooooo,yanno.
BAHU: "And take this back to Bitters with you!"
WCWSchvnne: "NO!!!"
FUSS: "tES"
[Fade to black.]