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GX Monday Sloptro
05/31/99
Live from the GX Arena in Bitters, Arkansas

Posse Interview
The Posse of BAHUMUTH,JimmyXite, DaveyDog30,W46578 entered to "No Chance in Hell". BAHU said that he had fired Muta4Ever & Outkast for Muta's actions last week and for Outkast stealing his Loverboy tape. Muta & Outkast were watching the monitors in the back.

Outkast: "FIRED? YOU CAN'T FIAH ME BRAH!"
Muta4Ever: "Did he just call me a Jalapeno picker!?"

BAHU then introduced the new official tag team of the Posse, World tag champs The Pumpkin Express and went into a half-hour shoot on GX.

BAHU: "I remember reading Smelly Game results and hearing that that fucking loser GHarb77 won GX's World title. It was at that moment that I knew that the GX World title meant SHIT on this online service. I'm the only one man enough to call out pussies from other online parody organizations and they ain't man enough to come. I would have been champion in this place a long time ago if it wasn't for the backstage politics of the Folepack and DICK
Harb."

King of the Dong Qualifying Match: Mr. ANTI vs. GUNN
Twas no match. Twas two remorseless men in a glorified gross-out contest. GUNN shtogunned a six-pack of Stroh's and burped but not could not sicken ANTI. ANTI showed GUNN a pic of a woman being invaded by a baseball bat. GUNN flinched but did not go down. GUNN brought a TV and VCR to the ring and showed ANTI a Steve McMichael/Stevie Ray match from Nitro. ANTI did not flinch. GUNN then popped in tapes of M. Wallstreet v. Hacksaw Duggan, Hogan v.
Piper and Piper v. Flair and ANTI still would not go down. ANTI pulled his pants down to reveal the Bret Hart midget gnawing away at his penis. GUNN was horrified. ANTI then began spanking the midget and pulled out pics of Mags eating feces. GUNN fainted, and ANTI was given the win, as ROMER entered the ring and urinated on GUNN. Following the match, Vince McMahon ran to ringside to ask how ANTI was able to overcome the horrible WCW matches GUNN
showed him. ANTI pulled his GX shirt off.

Vince McMahon: "AAWWWW!!!!! SHOCK-PROOF!!!!!!!!"

World tag team champions The Pumpkin Express vs. The Princes of the Universe
Mek and Kane had inside them blood of kings during this encounter. The Express were beaten senseless with chairs, pumpkins and Insecticons before falling prey to a KaneRobot chokeslam. After hitting both PE members with the Legacy of Brutality, Kane tagged in Mek to finish the job. As Mek signalled for the Transformer, a man wearing a Dodger uniform rushed the ring and broke a baseball bat over Mek's head. The ref quickly called for the bell and
gave the Princes the DQ win as EMTs scurried to the ring to check on Mek. Kane punched the turnbuckle. Injured GXers make him emotional. After several minutes, Mek was up and able to speak.

Mek: "Pumpkin Express, you leave me here, blood spurting from my head.."

Black Kid in Crowd: "You did dat yo'self!"

Mek: "And why?"

Homophobic Screaming Guy: "CAUSE YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!!!!!"

Mek: "Because I like Transformers? Does that make me a freak?"

Homphobic Screaming Guy: "YOU'RE A FAGGOT MEK!!!!!!!!"

King of the Dong Qualifying Match: GHarb77 vs.
RyanOnceTwiceThreeTimesaLady
Before the match began, JimmyXite,DaveyDog30 and BAHUMUTH appeared on the GodwinnTron, mocking Harb. Harb said he was "going for a drive" and began to leave the ring, as Ryan snuck up behind with a full nelson. Bibby entered the ring to hit Harb with his tag belt but Harb moved,as Bibby's belt slammed Ryan in the face. Harb attempted the Slop Cold Stunner on Bibby but could not get his arm around that huge head. Bibby pushed Harb right into a Bry
High for a two-count. Ryan missed the Bryan-Sault and Harb hit him with the Slop Cold Stunner for the win. Harb advances in the KOTD tourney. Following the match, Davey came down the aisle with a picture of Charisma93 on his tights and did the Rick Rude hip-swivel. Harb snapped and gave 13 referees and that weird blonde WWF official that looks like Tom Petty a belly-to-belly suplex.

Harbcore champion W46578 vs. DOAskull
The lights went out, and two-time Sloppy Award Winner Skull was seen on top of the scoreboard being hooked up to a harness of some sort. Davey was seen at the top of the scoreboard, sneaking up behind Skull ,when one of the stunt coordinators superkicked Davey from behind. The stunt coordinator ripped his Freddy Mercury moustache and wig off and revealed itself to be none other than Miss T0Y.

DOAskull: "Wow thanks. Now how do we get down?"

Miss T0Y: "I don't know."

DOAskull: "..."

Miss T0Y: "...."

DOAskull: "Hold me."

Miss T0Y: "Only if you hold me."

Eventually, DOA and T0Y all got down when they hopped on the crusty, old Stridex airship from SummerSlam '95 and flew back to the ring.

Womyns champion Miss T0Y (With DOAskull) vs. Jade Zhaoyun
W4 wasted no time coming out and beating on Skull with his title, as T0Y hit Zhaoyun with the FrankensT0Yner.T0Y made short work of Jade and pinned her after a Superkick From Hell. Following the match, Davey came out and told T0Y that he would show her why he's The Man They Call The Master of Cunnilingus. Skull was held back by W4, as T0Y backed away from Davey. Out of nowhere came Charisma93, who shoved Davey to the mat.

WCWSchvnne: "Charisma! Charisma! T0Y may be her most hated enemy, but Char is helping out a fellow woman and doing what is right!"

Char helped T0Y up and then German suplexed her, as Davey and W4 started laughing. Char said she'd been looking for a REAL man within GX for months and that G and Harb didn't cut the mustard.

WCWSchvnne: "NO!!! NO!!!! Charisma93, you can go to hell!"

BAHUMUTH,DaveyDog30 & JimmyXite vs. World champion MrPerfectn
The match never even got underway as all three Posse members beat Perf down. A giant "P" lowered from the ceiling and the Posse began tying Perf to it. Bob Ryder was in the front row and was outraged. DesDev came from the back and wailed away at Davey and a nearby midget with a cane. Des obviously settling a score from his MTV days. Mr. ANTI danced his way to the ring and began beating Jimmy over the head with a rubber chicken. As BAHU finally
tied Perf to the giant "P", G and Harb rushed the ring and double-clotheslined BAHU. Perf was untied and helped to the back by G, as the brawl went into the crowd. Charisma93 then approached Harb in the middle of the ring.

Harb: "You MACE me sick."

Char: "Don't you have a Toys R Us to get to?"

Harb: "FUCK YOU!"

::Char slaps Harb::

Crowd: "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH"

Harb: "::Sandler voice:: Now that WASN'T VERY NICE."

::Char slaps Harb again::

Crowd: "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Harb then paused and kicked Char in the mid-section and hit her with the Slop Cold Stunner, to a rousing ovation.

Pre-Recorded Footage in Hospital
DOAskull: "Yeah, Foleyite's injury MACE me upset. This injury's worse than we thought and could really set us back. He's been really down. So....how you doin'...?"

Nurse #1: "Ugh....let me take you to his room."

DOAskull: "Foley, I brought you some compilation tapes and some Dr. Pepper to cheer you u...WHAT THE!?!?!?"

Nurse #2: "There there,Foley. It'll be ok. ::shoves Foley into supple breasts::"

Foleyite: "Skull,my man!! How the hell are you?"

DOAskull: "Hmm. I'm good. You?"

Foleyite: "Never been better...NEVER been better.."

Foleyite nods his head grinning and Skull smiles back 1980s-sitcom-style, as the camera zooms in on the nurse's nametag reading "AG". Naughty By Nature's "Everything's Gonna Be Alright" plays.

[Fade to black.]