Back

-=GX MONDAY SLOPTRO=-
05/10/99
Live From the GX Arena in Bitters,Arkansas

Miss T0Y Promo
::footage of T0Y playing pool::

T0Y: "Warning.... Sloptro may be a little too HOT for some...."

::T0Y bends over and her left breast hits the table stopping an 8-ball in its tracks. T0Y then begins pleasuring herself with the cuestick. Wooooooo Hooooo!!! Thank you Mr. Poolstick!!!!!" [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]::

GX Intro

WCWSchvnne: "You are watching the most-read Monday night show parody on AOL!!! Tonight!!!! Semi-final action in the tag team title tournament!!! G Incognto and GHarb77 are BOTH in the house!!!! ::wide shot of broadcast both reveals that the STD are grinding up against Schvnne and FUSS to a great crowd reaction:: And we have the STD here with us tonight,oh my!!!!! I wish we had the STD dancing for us every night!"

FUSS: "I do,MISS TOY has the BIG FUSSBOWSKI aLL NiGhT LONg"

Harbcore champion GHarb77 vs. W46579
Oh ho! W4 was prepared to take things to the extreme and entered the ring with a trachcan full of typical hardcore weapons. W4 then went to the outside and waited at the top of the entrance ramp,in the "come on!" pose a la Rumble '97 Steve Austin for Harb to come out. Harb's music started up and the crowd erupted. Harb then charged at W4 with a Toys R Us shopping cart full of action figures, that sent W4 tumbling all the way down to the ring.
Harb took a "Ravishing" Rick Rude action figure from the cart and proceeded to beat W4 over the head with it until he bled. Harb then realized that he had opened the package and damaged the Rude figure, making it worth about half the amount it was worth. Harb began to get pissed off and said "I'm going for a drive". As Harb stepped through the ropes, W4 caught the Harbinator with a low-blow. The W4rrior then used his trash can o' weapons on Harb:
chair, mop, cheese grater, keyboard, Furby, crazy straw, etc. W4 screamed "oh ho!" and slammed Harb onto the chair. W4 attempted the big splash but Harb brought his knees up. At this point, G Incognto appeared at ringside and started inspecting Harb's Toys R Us cart full of action figures. W4 rolled up the distracted Harb for a two-count. DOAskull then emerged from the crowd and began mocking W4. Harb rolled up the distracted W4 for a two-count. Harb
then sent W4 into the ropes, where Skull tried to trip him up. As W4 and Skull argued and the ref tried to convince Skull to leave, G Incognto rolled Harb's cart full of action figures off of the entrance ramp crashing into a table below. Harb watched in horror and fainted. W4 turned around and pinned Harb. One. Two. Three. NEW Harbcore champion!!?!? (WCWSchvnne: "Certainly this has to be considered an upset,FUSS." FUSS: "G is ThE MAiN EvrNT HEeL
the SLoPTroSTopPRE"

GX Tag Title Tourney Promo
Dok Hendrix: "Foleyite & DesDev. These two men have an undefeated streak like no other team in the GX tag title tournament. Are they egotistical fools who refuse to job in silly online events? Or are they simply THAT good? One thing is for sure. We now know that if Des does win the tag belts in the finals of the tourney at In Your Pants: G-Raided, his tag belt will ALSO be on the line in the DOUBLE LADDER MATCH. You know, Drk days are upon us here in
GodwinnerationX now that DRK IS SOP is the World champion. And GX Booker Foleyite has told us that if Drk and Lawler DO win the tag belts in this tourney, they will be ON THE LINE in the DOUBLE LADDER MATCH at G-Raided. Let's not forget that Foleyite & Des must meet the pretty boys Ryan976-EVIL & Ben Bibby before advancing into the finals, and that Drk and Lawler must meet the hardcore duo of MekZhaoyun & KaneRobot. Hey, why are you editing some of
this out? Am I done? Hello? I used to be a Freebird, for God's sake. Really. I was." ::Dok starts crying and fulfills his craving for smack::

Semifinal Match in GX Tag Team Title Tournament
Foleyite & DesDev vs. Benny Bibby & Ryan1234ComeOnBabyMakeItLovely
Bibby and Ryan came to the ring, wearing basketball jerseys with their names and the numbers "00" and "69" on their respective backs. Very clever. The pretty boy duo also grabbed a mic before the match. Ryan: "Idots and fobs, GXers and SOPs, GodwinnerationX proudly brings to you..it's soon-to-be TAAAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRRRRLD...The Iceman Ben-nay Bib-bay! The 0976 Kid Bryan! THE PUMPKIN EXPRESS!" Bibby: "If you're not
down with that, Bob Holly is your dad. Now get outta my face." Foley & Des then entered the ring making references to Oil Can Boyd and Kenny Landreaux. (?) Who knows. The match started off with Bibby and Foley, who surprised the crowd with a purely scientific approach. After several minutes and a series of armdrags, Foley tagged in Des. Des made a BEEG MEESTAKE by headbutting Bibby. Of course it hurt Des more than it did Bibby, and "The Great
Pumpkin" was now able to tag in Ryan. Ryan sent Des into the ropes and hit him with the Bry High for a two-count. "The 0976 Kid" moonwalked across the ring and then missed his impressive Bryan-Sault. Des kicked Ryan in the mid-section and attempted a Rosiebuster. Bibby entered the ring and clipped Des, causing Ryan to fall on Des. Foley made the save and a four-way brawl erupted. Fole and Des sent the pretty boy pumpkinheads into the ropes and ducked
their heads. Pumpkin Express leapfrogged the duo and then gave each other a hug,only to turn around and face a pair of clotheslines. Fole administered a Slop Drop on Ryan,and then Des press-slammed Foley onto Ryan for the pin which Bibby broke up with a Great Pumpkin Diving Headbutt from the top rope. Des and Bibby brawled to the outside, as Foley missed a clothesline and fell victim to the Bry High. Ryan followed up with the Bryan-Sault but only got
a two-count. Ryan set Foley up for a superplex but Des re-entered the ring,caught Ryan and set him up on his shoulders. Des turned around and fell backwards and Foley leapt off of the top catching Ryan with a Slop Drop to a HUGE pop. As Foley made the pin, the bell rang. The 15 minute time-limit expired. Damn. An obese masked man wearing a cape attacked Foley following the match, singing "I am Wyngs0Gold, not Hovis, I am Wyngs0Gold." Des tossed the
fat guy out of the ring and Foley grabbed the mic. Fole: "Ok,ok. I'll play along.."Wyngs0Gold". Mask vs. Hair match at G-Raided. There ya go,fatty. Now isn't it time for your meal between breakfast and brunch?"

In Your Pants: G-Raided Promo
Foleyite: ::Vince McMahon voice:: "A HARBWIRE MATCH."
G Incognto: "I got your main event heel right here, [BEEEP]."
::Footage of the Masked A's Hat Wearer::
GHarb77: "I KNOW IT'S YOU,G!!!!!!!!"
::Harb stunning G::
G Incognto: "You still have your action figures."
::G pinning Harb at IYP: Bound for the Floor::
GHarb77: "THIS IS BULLSHIT."
::Harb-G brawl from Sloppamania::
Foleyite: ::Vince McMahon voice:: "A HARBWIRE MATCH."
::Masked A's Hat Wearer pointing bat towards the ring::

Backstage Footage
::G Incognto is seen in Foleyite's office.::

G Incognto: "I'm sorry about the slap and the language last week, but you KNOW I deserve to get that shot at main event status."
Foleyite: "Hey, that guy's filming us."
G Incgonto: He's supposed to. That's the point of this segment."
Foleyite: "Stop breaking kayfabe. GET THAT CAMERA OUTTA HERE!"

STD Interview
Miss T0Y and Jade Zhaoyun came to the ring wearing cheerleader outfits and practically got a face pop when they bounced to the ring. T0Y did the usual "Are you boys ready for the clap?" schtick, and then went on to say that since Charisma93 and Merogal13 both seem to want her so badly that they could have a shot at her tonight. Char and Mero came from the back and decided to play "rock,paper,scissors" to decide who'd get the shot. Mero won via
"dynamite." Char complained and pointed out that "dynamite" was NOT one of the options presented in the rules of the game. The crowd urged Mero and Char to go at it, and made up 43 new words for breasts in some rather creative chants. Mero mumbled something to Char,and the two locked horns. T0Y superkicked Mero in the midst of the lock-up and a weakened Char was then CSG Bombed onto Mero. The STD gloated about their domination of the Womyns Division.
T0Y: "Just like in the sack, the STD dominates once again. Your CSG ass and your JOCK ass better caaaaaall a doctor." Half of the crowd actually popped for that. Sick.

Semifinal Match in GX Tag Team Title Tournament
MekZhaoyun & KaneRobot vs. DrkIsSOP & Jerry "The King" Lawler
WCWSchvnne reminded us that Sloptro is the number-one rated Monday night wrestling show parody and that if Drk and Lawler win the tag titles at G-Raided they must put them on the line in the Double Ladder match later that night. Schvnne also mentioned that he gained 13 pounds during the last commercial break. Onto the match. No fancy intros here. With time constraints, the four men were forced to go at it immediately which they
gladly did. Kane and Drk took turns slamming each other into the guardrails as Lawler and Mek traded blows inside. Kane attempted the LOB Jumping Tombstone Piledriver,but Drk slid out of it and tossed Kane into the steel haybales and then tagged in. Drk and Lawler double-teamed Mek and got a near-fall with a spiked piledriver. Drk slapped a sleeper on Zhao. Mek "hulked up" but could not break the hold. MrPerfectn then walked dat aisle,whoo. Perf was
chewing gum, wearing a sassy orange singlet and tossing around a towel. Drk broke the hold and began yelling at Perf. Perf threw the towel at Drk which caused Drk to be wrapped up with a Mek inside cradle for the one,two,NOP. Drk tagged out to Lawler who missed a clothesline and was hit with the "Transformer". Mek tagged out to Kane who drove Lawler into the mat with the LOB. One. Two Three. Mek and Kane advance into the finals. Drk and Lawler left
the ring to chase Perf as KR and Mek celebrated by knocking out some kids with cans of "Mekweiser."

Mr. ANTI Promo
Michael Cole: "He's a man who lived behind the shadow of JimmyXite. A mysterious man with a love for chickens and shit-eating pics. What makes a man so deranged?"

ANTI: "You know, if I had a son, I'd tell him not to be the guy to like pics of chicks eating strange things."

Michael Cole: "Who is Mr. ANTI? We will try to answer this question in the coming weeks. God, I love this Sloptro thing. I get to say shit on here. Vince won't let me say shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT. FUCK YOU,VINCE. HAHA."

Foleyite/DesDev-Bibby/Ryan "Face-to-Face"
A coin was tossed to determine which team would face Mek and Kane at G-Raided for the belts. Bibby called it. "Heads!!" Bibby yelled to monstrous laughs. Damn, Bibby was right. As the Pumpkin Express started "dancing" and celebrating,the lights went off. The lights flickered back on, and the Masked A's Hat Wearer appeared. WCWSchvnne: "FROM THE RAFTERS! IT'S HIM!!!!" GHarb77 appeared at the top of the ramp.

GHarb77: "WE ALL KNOW IT'S YOU G! JUST GIVE IT UP! YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE!"

Foleyite: "Harb, you stunned me damn near to hell last week! You violated me,Harb! But that's ok.. I know you're having a hard time. And Harb, G may be on a POWER TRIP lately but he is NOT the Masked A's Hat Wearer. G and I worked out our differences and he's damn sure GX for life. And I will guarantee you - that's right- I GUARANTEE that G is NOT the Masked A's Hat Wearer."

GHarb77: "FOLEYITE IS WRONG."

The crowd gasped and Foleyite did the "Rocky Maivia Eye Bulge" as they went to a commercial.

G Incognto Interview
G: "Now we all know Harb's too tired after losing his Harbcore title to face me like a REAL MAN here tonight. I don't need to prove I'm main event material to anybody, but I'm laying down an open challenge. If anybody's got the TESticular fortitude, come on out and we'll see if you have what it takes to hit the G-Spot. "

::Norman Smile and Corpse of Suddenly Susan Guy entered the ring together only to be thrown out of the ring by G::

::The Corpse of Dana Plato then made her debut only to be hit with a G Backdrop Driver From Hell::

WCWSchvnne: "MAH GOD!!! PLATO IS BROKEN IN HALF!! LITERALLY!!!"

::OutkastCJB, Muta4Ever & BAHUMUTH then entered the ring to their fair share of boos::

G Incognto: "Oh come on now. This is just a joke. "

Outkast: "G Incognto? We accept your challenge and we've got three words for ya: We're takin' overrrrrrr!!!!" ::Muta did the "Razor Ramon DACE" and the crowd cracked up::

Muta & Outkast lunged at G, but were grabbed by the throat and chokeslammed simultaneously. G then gave both men the Backdrop Driver From Hell and tossed them out of the ring as if they were the Corpse of the Suddenly Susan Guy. BAHU simply shook his head and berated Muta & Outkast as they made their way through the crowd.

G Incognto: "You three don't seem to understand that this is the big leagues. You don't have what it takes to compete with a G Incognto. Everyone else is grass, and I am the hedge trimmer."

::As G rambled, a hole opened up in the middle of the ring and out came GHarb77 who interrupted G and spun him around::

WCWSchvnne: "G AND HARB ARE STANDING FACE TO FACE!! THEY'LL GO AT IT IN A HARBWIRE MATCH THIS SUNDAY! WILL WE FIND OUT WHO THE MASKED A'S HAT WEARER IS ONCE AND FOR ALL? IS IT INDEED G? WILL FOLEYITE BE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER?! MAH GOD! IT'LL BE A WAR THIS SUNDAY!!"

[Fade to black.]