GX Monday Sloptro
05/03/99
Live from the Pink Triangle Garden in Bitters,Arkansas
Mr. ANTI Promo
::footage of ANTI in a chicken coop with his pants around his ankles:: "Ladies
and gentlemen,Sloptro should be read with a responsible..parent..supervision..explicit
language.... whooooooooa, this is some muthafuckin' policy. What's the 411
from you,baby?"
Chicken: "Bawwwwwwwk."
ANTI: "Oh baby! Turn that camera off. TURN THAT CAMERA OFF!"
Recap
::footage of G pinning harb at IYP:BFTF::
GHarb77: ::footage of Harb attacking Mashed A's Hat Wearer:: "I KNOW
ITS YOU!!"
G Incognto: "...a REAL man.."
GHarb77: "THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!! EVERYBODY KNOWS I SHOULD BE THE GODWINNERATION
X CHAMPION"
::footage of Foleyite presenting Harb with the Harbcore title::
Foleyite: "You have to defend against G."
GHarb77: "I KNOW ITS YOU G!!!"
::slow-motion footage of G and Harb brawling and Harb pinning G on last
week's Sloptro::
GHarb77: "I KNOW ITS YOU!!!"
G Incognto: "It's ok,Harb. You still have your action figures to jerk
off to."
GHarb77: "I KNOW ITS YOU G!!!!!"
GX INTRO
::fireworks (Two Trenchcoat Mafia-type friends Foleyite knew from high school
setting off bombs near the entrance ramp) go off::
WCWSchvnne: "TONIGHT!! MRPERFECTN VS JERRY LAWLER!!! TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
ACTION!!!! AND AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM FOLEYITE!?!?!?!"
Quarterfinal Match in GX Tag Team Title Tournament
MekZhaoyun & KaneRobot vs. Muta4ever & OutkastCJB
Mek & Kane came to the ring separately; Mek to {S TF1, Kane to some
snappy freestyling from Marcs R Us. Mek: "Me and KR are hardcore and
we're DAMN sure more than meets the eye." Kane: "AGAIN with the
Transformers...." The crowd laughed and cheered. Muta & Outkast
then came to the ring wearing "Cole's Crew" shirts to a tremendous
chorus of boos. Mek threw a soda can and beaned Muta in the head to many
more laughs and cheers. A
tear fell from Muta's eye. An enraged Outkast entered the ring to attack
Mek, but he tripped over the bottom rope to more laughs and applause. As
Outkast got to his feet, Mek hit him with the Transformer, but decided to
tag Kane in and let Outkast tag out to Muta. Muta said that he had been
practicing "hong kong phooey" and began doing karate-like movements
a la Screech Powers. Kane gave Muta a running kick to the crotch and followed
up with the
Legacy of Brutality Jumping Tombstone Piledriver for the pinfall win. Kane
& Mek advance into the semifinals. Kane & Mek then celebrated by
chucking "Mekweiser" cans at fans' heads. After KR and Mek left,
BAHUMUTH appeared to the surprise of the crowd. He berated Muta & Outkast
for losing to "GX jobbers" and forced them to lick his shoes,which
they did after some hesitation.
Footage of Foleyite Walking Around in the Back,Drinking Dr. Pepper
WCWSchvnne: "THERE'S FOLEYITE,FUSS! WHAT WILL HE SAY LATER TONIGHT!?!?!?!??!"
FUSS: "Calm down,you fisheye crackball fool. He's just walking around,
drinking Dr. Pepper."
WCWSchvnne: "FOLEYITE!!!
ANNOUNCEMENT! AAAAH!!!!!!!"
W46579 Interview
W4: "Oh ho! I usually prefer to let my actions speak for me,but there's
a problem I've got to address. DOAskull, you come out here with yer two
little Sloppies and attack me. It really don't make a damn. You've always
been "the Quiet One" in GX. Oh ho! The Quiet One? More like the
Ass-Kissing One. Let me refresh your memory..SOSKULL. Back when we teamed
together in the Folepack, tag team champs no less, we rode the highways
and byways
together,brah. Then after we dropped the straps,Foleyite kicked our asses
out of the Folepack. And what do you do? You stick with Foleyite and GX
like a good little ass-kisser. Everybody was so - oh ho!- shocked when I
went SOP. What a joke. I don't kiss any of the SOPs asses and I never kissed
Foleyite's ass, that's why I'm not GX anymore so SLOP ON IT!"
Skull: "Listen W4, you may not kiss any ass, but you also don't have
two Sloppies. Besides, I haven't kissed ANYONE'S ass since Magnum T.A. retired.
You want to go one...on one....with the Quiet One? The W4rrior. The Brahma
Skull. In Your Pants: G-Raided. The Skull says I'm gonna make your sauerkraut
ass famous."
Quarterfinal Match in GX Tag Team Title Tournament
Foleyite & DesDev vs. Tekno Team 2000
Before the match, Des got on the mic. Des: "Last week, I came out here
and DrkIsSOP and Lawler decided to team up on the Perfectn Boy. Well,I have
stayed away from all the drama, ah was takin' care of GX business, but Davey's
let us down and someone needs to step up to the plate. Speaking of stepping
up to the plate, Ray Knight." The crowd looked really confused, as
Foley and Des began discussing Knight's career and TT2000
entered the ring. TT2000 dazzled the crowd by taking control early with
their futuristic,innovative tag team manuevering. Travis and Troy wowed
fans by double-suplexing Foleyite and following up with elbowdrops that
would make Tron proud. Travis started crying after Drunk Guy In Crowd yelled
"FUCK BILL WATTS' KID UP FOOOLEEEEY" and Foleyite took advantage
and tagged out to Des. Foley & Des were somehow able to use some of
TT2000's futuristic tag
team stylings against them and hit Travis with a double-backbodydrop. Troy
tagged in and went toe-to-toe with Des for a good 5 minutes before tagging
back out to Travis. TT2000 used quick tags and kept Des in their corner.
Drunk Guy In Crowd yelled "WHO IS THIS BUUUUM" in Travis' direction
and he began crying again. Des managed to hit Travis with a Rosiebuster
and made the hot tag to Foley. Foley was able to Slop Drop Travis, but the
pin was broken
up by a futuristic move from Troy. A four-way brawl ensued and Des tossed
the crying Travis to the outside and climbed to the top turnbuckle. Meanwhile,Foley
set Troy up for a Superplex. Foley superplexed Troy and Des came off of
the opposite turnbuckle with a frog splash. Foley pinned Troy for the pinfall
win, taking Des & Fole to the semis. After the match, the fat fan in
the Sting mask attacked Foley only to be beaten down and exposed as
"Handsome" Hovis, who ran to the back screaming "Where's
Hovis! Where's Hovis!"
"Iceman" Benny Bibby & "The 0976 Kid" Ryan Promo
::GLAM keyboards start up::
::slow-motion footage of Bibby and Ryan taking their shirts off and walking
along a beach::
"PUMPKINS FOR SALE. PUMPKINS FOR SALE. PUMPKINS FOR SALE. PUMPKINS
FOR SALE. PUMPKINS FOR SALE...PUMPKINS FOR SALE."
::slow-mo of Bibby putting sunglasses on::
"If ya see a pumpkin', better run for cover! Girls, you don't need
a weekend lover. Mmmm...pumpkin for sale."
::footage of Bibby playing volleyball::
"If they wanna talk to you, ya better not listen!"
::footage of a guy hitting Bibby in the head,mistaking it for the volleyball::
"You might wind up with pumpkin in your kitchen. HAHA! Pumpkin for
sale."
::close-up of Ryan putting on sunglasses::
"PUMPKINS FOR SALE. PUMPKINS FOR SALE. PUMPKINS FOR SALE. PUMPKINS
FOR SALE...<fade>"
The STD (GX Womyns champion Miss T0Y & Jade Zhaoyun) vs. Charisma93
& Merogal
T0Y got on the mic upon entering the ring. T0Y: "Are you boys ready
for the clap?" Surprisingly, it got a mixed reaction. Char and Mero
then entered the ring and wasted no time going after the STD. Char ran at
T0Y with a clothesline but T0Y ducked and Char tackled into Jade. T0Y laughed
as Jade quickly fled from the ring, being chased by Char. Merogal snuck
up from behind with a hockeystick and surprised T0Y with a Russian leg sweep
with the
hockeystick against T0Y's face. Mero pinned T0Y for the upset win,making
Mero the new number-one contender to T0Y's Womyns title. During this match,
a fight broke out in the stands. It was later revealed to be none other
than GUNN and ROMER.
MrPerfectn vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler
Perf mocked Lawler, calling him "the father figure Logan's been looking
for" and starting chants of "SHOW YOUR KIDS." Lawler screamed
"BRA AND PANTIES!" for no reason and began brawling with Perf.
Lawler oversold Perf's right hands and crawled to the corner, begging Perf
to stop. Perf looked to the crowd and asked if he should hit Lawler. The
crowd didn't understand the question. Perf tried to explain it, but it was
too late. DrkIsSOP hit the
ring and attacked Perf with a chair. Lawler and Drk mercilessly double-teamed
Perf,until DesDev came to Perf's rescue and "cleaned house". Des
grabbed a mic and demanded that Perf get another shot at Drk's World title.
Drk said that he would grant Perf a shot at In Your Pants, but only in a
tag match: Drk and Lawler vs. Des & Perf. Perf then demanded that it
be a tag team ladder match,giving all four men a shot at the belt. Drk agreed
but said Des'
Intercontinentally challenged belt would also be on the line. Foleyite then
appeared on the GodwinnTron and thanked all four men for explaining the
match and putting it over nicely. WCWSchvnne: "FOLEYITE HAS FINISHED
HIS CAN OF DR. PEPPER!!!! HE'LL BE OUT HERE WITH THE ANNOUNCEMENT!!! NEXT!!!!!
SIDEWALK SLAAAAM!!!!!!!" They then went to a commercial.
Foleyite Interview
Foleyite: "Thank you,ladies and gentlemen. I would suggest.. that this
great Sloptro here notwithstanding, that something is missing. Many of you
have called our offices,sent us naked pictures, threatened to STOP sending
us naked pictures..since news got out that DaveyDog30 has once again left
GX. I'll try to explain. In March, Davey had left us and my main eventing
GXer AAisWAR and my main event heel Yuri proclaimed that they wanted out,
and I
foolishly let them have their way. Of course, I convinced Davey to return.
I needed at least one big name to keep things going."
::"Ain't Nothin' But a G Thing" starts up and G Incognto enters
the ring::
G Incognto: "Ya know something, Foley. Ever since Davey handed you
booking duties here, you ain't done nothin' but cry. 'Boo hoo, Yuri's leaving.
Boo hoo, I have no main event heel.' I got your main event heel right here,BITCH."
Crowd: "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH"
Foleyite: "Mr. Incognto...I would suggest...that at In Your Pants:
G-Raided, you will be getting the recognition you feel you deserve by headlining
the event in a ::Vince McMahon voice:: HARBWIRE MATCH for GHarb77's Harbcore
title. I would also suggest..."
G Incognto: "Suggest this."
::G slapped Foley,as the crowd "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed and
Foleyite does the Vince McMahon sniveling angry face::
::glass breaks::
::crowd pops::
::Harb sprints to the ring, kicks G in the mid-section and stuns him to
a deafening pop.::
Foleyite: "Thank you,Harb! I knew I could count on you. Everyone else
was saying you had gone crazy,and that I was crazy to trust such a volatile
guy, but I must admit that you've really proven to be a stand-up,loyal company
man!"
::Harb stuns Foleyite::
::crowd pops::
FUSS: "WTF GHARb BelONgs UNDER the JAiL CeLL"
WCWSchvnne: "SLOP COLD STUNNER! SLOP COLD STUNNER! GHARB77 JUST STUNNED
THE BOOKER OF THI S COMPANY!!!! GHARB77 JUST TRULY DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN!!!!!!"
[Fade to black.]