GX Monday Sloptro
04/26/99
Live from the Cervix Center in Wheeling,West Virginia
In Loving Memory
Hardcore Holly Board
(1999-1999)
Charisma93 Promo
::Footage of Charisma naked in a bathtub full of slop::
"Sloptro may be too SICK, disgusting, vile, lewd, vulgar, immature,
juvenile,childish, moronic and chock-full of gratuitous violence,sex and
inside jokes for some AOL members. Reader indiscretion.....eh,discretion
is advised."
Recap
Harb: "This G thing is getting sick."
Foleyite: "Just protect Davey."
GHarb77: "Ok."
Foleyite: " My hand-picked champion! DaveyDog30!"
GHarb77: "Everbody knows I should be the GODWINNERATION X CHAMPION"
Foleyite: "Where were you?"
GHarb77: "New boy..."
G Incognto: "...a REAL man.."
Foleyite: "That's not gonna cut it anymore! Protect the IC belt."
GHarb77: "THIS IS BUUUULLLSHIIIIIT"
Davey: "I'm breaching my contract. I want out."
Foleyite: ::makes the McMahon-when-Bret-said-WCW-made-him-great-offer-face::
::Footage of a smirking G Incognto::
GHarb77: ::beating crap out of Masked A's Hat Wearer:: "I KNOW ITS
YOU G!!! I KNOW ITS YOU!!!! I KNOW ITS YOU G!! I KNOW ITS YOU!!!!"
New GX Intro
::Fast incoherent rap with raunchy guitars and footage of GX hitting everyone
with
chairs,dildos and slop buckets:: "ITS THE SLOP COMIN AT YA SO FORCEFULLY!
ITS THE LOVE FOR THE HOLLY IN THE SOUL OF ME!! SLOP IS WAR IS ON!! IN YOUR
PANTS!!!!!"
Quarterfinal Match in GX Tag Team Title Tournament
Benny Bibby & RyanSummerof'69 vs. The Corpse of the Guy From Suddenly
Susan & Norman Smiley
Bibby and Ryan came to the ring wearing 3-D glasses and "Hulkamania!"
tanktops lookin' mighty fly and hugged each other repeatedly on the way
to the ring. Corpse and Norman then entered the arena to Konnan's rap song
to a huge pop. Corpse and Bibby started things off. Bibby thrashed Corpse
around like a rag doll and tagged Ryan in. Ryan hit the Corpse with a Lion-Sault
and then tossed him into Smiley's corner. Smiley tagged
in, began yelling at the Corpse for not defending himself and slapped the
ASS-TAPPING PORNLOCK on Corpse. Bibby and Ryan attacked Smiley from behind
and followed up with a double side-suplex. Ryan pinned Smiley for the three
count at 3:42. Bibby and Ryan advance into the semifinals. After the match,
the winners roughed up WCWSchvnne. Bibby: "Get it right,fob. It's Ben-nay
Bib-bay and Bryan."
Foleyite/GHarb77 Backstage Footage Foleyite: "Harb, I'm very grateful
for what you've done for GX. Don't worry about the Davey situation. Davey's
gone now anyway."
Harb: "Again?"
Foleyite: "Anyway, I made you this." ::hands Harb the old,broken
down GX Western States Unified World title belt with a piece of paper taped
to the front of it::
GHarb77: "A Harbcore title? You shouldn't have!!!! I owe you a TV theme!
I can sing Family Ties! Foley's got a sweet ear!"
Foleyite: "By the way, you have to defend against G tonight. Woah,
look at the time! Gotta run!"
GX Womyns champion Miss T0Y (with Jade Zhaoyun) vs. Charisma93 (with CARSON
"Spunky" ROX2)
Before the match,T0Y got on the mic and said she believed that Charisma
enjoyed last week's dry hump a little too much. Char came out swingin' and
a brawl ensued. T0Y slapped on a side headlock but was quickly side-suplexed
by Char. Jade hopped up on the ring apron to distract Char, but was stopped
short by a Spunky chair shot. Spunky then knocked Jade out cold with a TRL
(Totally RAD Lariat) on the outside as Char stomped her foot on the
ring mocking T0Y's Superkick From Hell! As T0Y got to her feet, Char attempted
a superkick. T0Y caught the foot,swung Char around and German
suplexed her for a two-count. T0Y then kicked Char in the mid-section and
set her up for her own CSG Bomb. Char countered with a Frankensteiner for
a two-count. After a series of clotheslines, Char went for the CSG Bomb
which was countered by a FrankensT0Yner for another two-count. T0Y then
attempted the Superkick From Hell! but Char ducked and the ref was knocked
out. T0Y then hit Char with the Superkick From Hell! and did the "grind".
Merogal then rushed the ring with a hockeystick which she broke over the
back of T0Y's neck to a huge pop. "HOW CAN YOU NOT HATE T0Y??!?!?!"
she screamed to the crowd. The ref woke up and saw Charisma on top of T0Y.
One. Two. Thr..NOP. A groggy Char then slowly set up for the CSG Bomb,but
the injured T0Y would not cooperate and kept falling to the mat. As Char
attempted the move again, T0Y wrapped Char up with an inside cradle for
the pinfall
win in 15:11.
MekZhaoyun & KaneRobot Promo
"I know what you're thinkin'..."--Kane
"I collect too many comic books.."--Mek
"I'm 260 pounds.."--Kane
"I'm way too into Transformers.."--Mek
"I played Metallica songs on guitar during the 9th grade..."--Kane
"Threw a soda can at a FAT girl's head.."--Mek
"I'm not a real GXer?"--Kane
"Try lacin' my boo...stop lookin' at my sister or this Marine is gonna
KICK YOUR ASS, BOY"--Mek
"Dude, you screwed up the promo AGAIN. Take 3, people. Jeez, Mek.."--Kane
Quarterfinal Match in GX Tag Team Title Tournament
JimmyXite & Mr. ANTI vs. DrkIsSOP & Jerry "The King" Lawler
Jimmy did not show up for the match, leaving many to speculate on his future
with GX. Foleyite came from the back and explained that the policy involving
tag tournaments is that if a man does not show up for a match, the partner
must either find a suitable substitute of face the opposing team alone.
ANTI: "Whooooooa, that's some muthafuckin' policy." ANTI walked
out on the match giving Drk and Lawler an easy advance into the
semifinals,and Drk shot on just about everybody. Drk: "I not only beat
Davey for your precious GX belt but I ended the bum's career. Him and his
dead uncle can kiss my ass. Now Jimmy and ANTI fear me. Davey fears me.
GX fears me. Everybody fears me. And West Virginia? You KNOW IT"
::Glass breaks::
::Crowd pops::
GHarb77 then sprinted to the ring and proceeded to give both Lawler and
Drk a Slop Cold Stunner to a MEGA-POP. G Incognto emerged from the back
with a prostitute and a life-size Trent Dilfer cut-out. Harb left the ring
and speared the ho and Dilfer,as G moved out of the way and began stomping
Harb on the entrance ramp. WCWSchvnne: "Wait a minute,Drk-Perf is next
on my format.." MrPerfectn then rushed the ring to another MEGA-POP
and pinned Drk. ONE!
TWO THR..NOP! Perf and Drk traded right hands, as G leveled Harb with a
chairshot on the ramp. WCWSchvnne: "Our very first Harbcore title grudge
match with G and Harb! And Perf's first one-on-one shot at the World title!
Two PPV main event caliber matches both HAPPENING AT ONCE HERE ON SLOPTRO!
You won't see action like this frm those other online wrestling parodies!!!"
G dragged Harb towards the ring and whipped him into the steel haybales,
as Drk
hit Perf with a low-blow on the inside. A recovering Lawler piledrove Perf
before quickly high-tailing it to the back. Drk pins Perf. One. Two. Thr..NOP.
On the outside, G hit Harb with a Michinoku Driver and pinned him for two.
G then rolled Harb inside. G and Drk sent Harb and and Perfectn into the
ropes and ducked their heads. Harb kicked G, kicked him in the mid-section
and Stunned him as Perfectn hit Drk with the Perfectn-Plex. WCWSchvnne:
"SIMULTANEOUS PIN! ONE!!! TWO!!!!! NO!!!! MAH GOD!!!! THIS IS HISTORY
IN THE MAKING,FOLKS! I HAVEN'T SAID SIDEWALK SLAM ALL NIGHT! DOH!"
Drk and Perfectn traded right hands and fell to the outside. Meanwhile,
on the inside Harb hit G with another Stunner and pinned him. One. Two.
Three. Harb retains the new Harbcore title. On the outside, Drk ducked a
clothesline and backdropped Perf into the steel haybales and then dragged
him back into the ring
where he attempted a DVD. Perf slid down the back and set up for the Final
Fantasy which Drk countered with a victory roll for a two-count. DesDev
then made his way down the aisle and distracted Drk with pics of LadyJ956289562.
A distracted Drk was rolled up by Perf. ONE. TWO. NOP. Lawler returned to
ringside and began brawling with Des. As the ref left the ring to break
up the Des/Lawler melee, Perf hit Drk with the Final Fantasy. The Masked
A's Hat
Wearer then entered the ring and slammed Perf in the back with a bat. Drk
drove Perf to the mat with a DVD and pinned him for the ONE. TWO. THREE.
Damn. Who IS that damned Masked A's Hat Wearer?
[Fade to black.]