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GX Monday Sloptro
Live from the Granny Godwinn Memorial in Bitters,Arkansas
04/05/99

[FAT Thomas is seen in his dressing room lubing up,as the phone rings. FAT T-Bone pauses and slowly picks up the phone. "Thomas? Thomas? I'm comin' to get ya, ya sorry bastard." FAT T-Bone closed his eyes and slowly put the phone down.]

GX Intro

Foleyite vs. W46579
This was a return match from their 03/15 Sloptro encounter with Foley's GX and Friends gang and W4's SOP buddies barred from ringside this time. After Foley declined to take one of W4's finest oh ho!s, W4 started strong with a series of clotheslines,a press slam and legdrop - but only got a two-count on "The Right One". W4 then attempted a Big Splash,but Foley brought his knees up and then pinned W4 with an inside cradle for another near-fall.
Foley then bodyslammed W4,but W4's foot hit the ref on the way down. "Handsome" Hovis waddled down the aisle with a rack of lamb and Foley caught him with a baseball slide sending the lamb into Hovis' face. As W4 watched Foley Slop Drop Hovis on the ramp, DOAskull came from behind and whacked W4 over the head with a Sloppy. Foleyite re-entered the ring and pinned W4 for the win. Following the match, Hovis grabbed the mic: "Foley,it's not over yet.
Next week. The rubber match. No, I don't mean condoms. Stop laughing. Seriously now. Oh come on. Next week - me,you,Bachelor Pad Brawl." Foleyite: "Eh,what the hell sure."

Backstage Footage
[MekZhaoyun entered FAT Thomas' dressing room with his hand in his jacket.]
Mek: "You ever watched Transformers:The Movie,Thomas?"
Thomas: "That lame old cartoon with the robots?"
Mek: "Say that again?"
Thomas: "Ok,ok! I saw it once...a..a while ago. I couldn't sit through the entire movie to be honest with you."
Mek: ::Disgusted:: "That's what I thought."

G Incognto vs. DrkIsSOP
[G came to the ring wearing an A's Hat causing GX fans to chant "YOU FUCKED UP."] G and Drk traded armdrags and dropkicks for a good three minutes before GHarb77 made his way to ringside where he joined commentators WCWSchvnne and FUSS. (Harb: "Schvnne, at Sloppamania G did what was best for him and not Team GX. And that's not all he's done or doing. He's a jerk plain and simple." Schvnne: "Uh yeah sure. GX is where it's at,fans! We're the number
one cyber-Monday show on AOL! Our competition had Rick Parka on their biggest show of the year. That fatass couldn't even get past Jobber status here. SIDEWALK SLAM!!" FUSS: "rick parka belongs undr the JAil CEll") As G attempted the Salinas Pepper ("Lion Tamer") on Drk in the ring, Charisma93 strutted down the aisle on the verge of tears with what appeared to be pictures in her hand. (Harb: "WTF WHERE DID YOU GET THIS".) Drk reached the ropes
breaking the hold and G continued to work on Drk's back. (Char: "G's the one that gave them to me." Harb: "THAT IS IT GOD DAMMIT THIS IS BULLSHIT AND IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS TOUGH SHIT") As Drk ducked a G clothesline and set him up for the Death Valley Driver, Harb
left the broadcast table and grabbed a chair. G slid down Drk's back to avoid the DVD and DDTed Drk. Harb then entered the ring attacking G with the chair. Drk was given the DQ win and Harb shot on G for about 43 minutes. The jist of it: "You jerk. You selfish. You like Char. You're not good. I would not let you borrow sugar if you asked nicely for it. I think you smell bad. We all know you're the masked A's hat wearing SOP." As Harb shot on G, The
Masked A's Hat Wearer appeared at the top of the ramp and pointed a wiffleball bat at Harb.

GX Champ DaveyDog30 vs. "Handsome" Steven Hovis
Before the match, Hovis inhaled a pizza and 3 quarts of root beer. Davey came to the ring,took one of the cans of root beer,chugged it down and smashed the can on his head to a huge pop. Unfortunately, the can knocked Davey silly and Hovis went to work on the champ. Davey quickly rebounded and wasted no time trying to knock the big man down with right hands and clotheslines,but Hovis stood his ground. Davey went under the ring,grabbed a chair and
hit Hovis with three solid chair shots. Hovis began rocking,as Davey went under the ring again. Davey brought a breifcase with the words "RELAX WITH TRUDY" across its side and slammed Hovis over the head with it,sending Hovis to the canvas. As Davey prepared to slam the immovable object,Hovis kicked Davey in the crotch and followed up with a powerbomb. Davey winced and Foleyite came sprinting from the back,yelling "I told you anything but his JOCK
injuries." Hovis: "You just made this a shoot now,you total idiot." Hovis worked over Davey's bad back as DrkIsSOP came to ringside with a mic. Drk: "I'm sick? AOL relationships and cybering is SICK? Your mom dosen't seem to mind them,buddy." Foleyite told Drk to cool it down,but was DVDed on the entrance ramp. In the ring,Hovis slammed Davey and hit him with a big splash. Drk ordered Hovis to pull Davey up at two,which Hovis gladly did. Hovis then
set up for the Hovis-sault. Davey moved out of the way of a Hovis-sault but was kicked in the back by Drk as he ran the ropes.Hovis went to the top rope again,but a recovering Davey caught Hovis at the top turnbuckle and Death Valley Daveyd Hovis to the mat. One. Two. Three. Davey wins by pinfall to retain the title. DrkIsSOP attacked Davey after the match with Davey's own belt,as Hovis screamed "Hit MY Music." The opening of Gerardo's "Rico Suave"
started up and Drk and Hovis grinded up against the two female fans GX has. Hovis then realized it was actually Weird Al's "Taco Grande" and began screaming and holding his ears. Foley and Des came to Davey's aid. Out of nowhere, two masked folks appeared on the GodwinnTron. "Rosie sends her regards,boys. But you must ask yourself: is it live or is it..uh... not live." Davey,Foley and Des looked up at the ramp astonished as Madonna,Rosie O' Donnell
and Penny Marshall attacked the three from behind with copies of "The Flintstones" and "Harriet the Spy".

Broadcast Booth
WCWSchvnne: "Well,fans. I've been looking at these pictures Charisma93 brought out here for a good half-hour now. ::Zip:: It appears to be GHarb77,Jade Zhaoyun and T0Y..well,it's hard to explain. My god, how'd she get in that pos..is that a nipple right there or an ear,FUSS?"
FUSS: "MISS TOY wnt the big HarbOWskI ALL NIGHT LONG"

JimmyXite vs. Benny "The Iceman" Bibby in a Chinatown Street Fight
Bibby came to the ring wearing a Rock T-shirt with a Mike Bibby jersey over it and a trashcan full of weapons. Jimmy then came out with his DX shirt and a hollow pumpkin full of weapons to laughs and a pop from the drunken fans. Bibby attacked Jimmy with Pumpkin Headbutts and quickly went to the trashcan. Bibby sprayed WWF ATTITUDE COLOGNE in Jimmy's eyes and then dumped scalding hot chowmein on Jimmy's neck. (Japanese Woman at Ringside:
JIIMMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Damn, I think only Davey will get that.) Bibby pulled a Cartman doll out of his trashcan,but was blasted over the head with Jimmy's hollow pumpkin. Jimmy took off his DX shirt (GX Crowd: "WOOHOO!!!!!!!") and began choking Bibby with it,when the "renegade promotion" emerged from the crowd. (WCWSchvnne: "They have a history with Jimmy. Are they with him or against him or just here for the free beer or SIDEWALK
SLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!") As Jimmy watched them take their seats,Bibby hit Jimmy in the back of the head with the trashcan and followed up with the Ching Chow Pa (Jackhammer) onto the trashcan. (WCWSchvnne: "CHING CHOW PA! CHING CHOW PA!!!!!) Jimmy kicked out at two. Bibby then raised the Slanted Eyebrow and went for The Great Pumpkin's Elbow,but missed. Jimmy threw the trashcan at Bibby and Bibby caught it enabling Jimmy to level him with the Damn
Damnanator. One. Two. NOP. Jimmy grabbed Bibby's Cartman doll and asked the crowd if he should rip it up. Bibby went to spear Jimmy,but Jimmy moved and the ref was speared into the pumpkin. Bibby clotheslined Jimmy to the mat and went up top for a Great Pumpkin Diving Headbutt. Jimmy moved and Bibby landed on a Banzai tree Jimmy had brought with him. Jimmy slammed Bibby and turned around to see BAHU in the ring. BAHU hugged Jimmy to a huge pop and
Jimmy turned around to finish Bibby off. BAHU then tapped Jimmy on the back and drove Jimmy through the Banzai tree with the "BAHU Bottom." BAHU placed Bibby on Jimmy as the ref awoke. One. Two. Three. Bibby wins with help from the renegade promotion's BAHU.

MrPerfectn Interview
Perf complained about finally overcoming Suds and not being rewarded a title shot for his big win at Sloppamania. He then said he doesn't want to be the GX equivalent of Bret Hart in the WWF of 1995 and waste time in a feud with Logan. He challenged Logan to a match at "Bound for the Floor" to end it all. Logan came out and said to "LOGAN = RATTTTTTTINGS AND PERF TO FACE THE MAN YOU MUST BEAT THE TWINS" The Olsen Twins appeared at Logan's side
and said that at the next SPV, Perfectn would know what a "full house" is all about.

MekZhaoyun & FAT Thomas
Mek and Thomas appeared in the arena to a huge pop,with Mek still holding a gun to Thomas' head. Mek ordered Thomas to get on his knees. "Look straight up at that GodwinnTron and get ready to watch your eyes pop out of your head." Thomas did the bulging eyes a la Rocky Maivia and closed his eyes as Mek pulled the trigger. Click. WCW Schvnne: "HA HA JA. That's not a gun! That's the Transformer MEGATRON!!!!!!!" The audience popped as Mek brought
Thomas back to his feet. FAT T-Bone had urinated all over his pants. Mek kicked him in the mid-section and dropped him with the Transformer (Diamond Cutter) to a standing ovation. The newly repackaged Mr. ANTI (Foremrly ANTI 4 EVR) came out of the crowd and licked up Thomas' urine to an even bigger pop.

[Fade to black.]