GX Monday Sloptro
Live from the Arrowhead Swamp of Bitters,Arkansas
03/29/99
GX Interview
[All of GX, excluding DaveyDog30,GHarb77,G Incongto, and KaneRobot,"Optimus
Prime Time" MekZhaoyun,
JimmyXCite,Jobber4WCW came to the ring smiling.]
Foleyite: "Last night...was a great night for GX. Yes indeed, I would suggest it was a great night..my loss notwithstanding ..because Yuri9186 was SCREWED out of the GX World title. I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and thought about how I felt when I screwed Yuri out of the title. And you know what? It felt BETTER THAN HOMOSEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH GARRETT MORRIS. Mek?"
MekZhaoyun: " And I told THE WORRRLD LAST NIGHT! Maybe I'm a fatass-hating,whore-hater just like you after all..aren't I Foley? WHOO!! BOOYAH BABY!!!!!!'
Foleyite: "So without further adue, I'd like to introduce the GX World Heavyweight Unified Western States International Champion. MY HAND-PICKED GX CHAMPION. Ladies and gentlemen,give it up for DAVEYDOG30"
Over the PA: "DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE EX-JOCK IS COOKIN'? [DaveyDog30 entered the ring to a huge pop and chants of "WEL-COME BACK."]
Davey: "Yuri, believe me I had nothing to do with this screwing. Now I know your contract doesn't end until the 30th. So I'm challenging you to a match TO-NIGHT. Title on the line. And we can settle this the RIGHT way." [Gives Foleyite a menacing look.]
DOAskull vs. The debuting FAT Thomas
Skull grabbed the mic: "You may have had your way with Jade,but you
don't have two Sloppies." Thomas was outraged by Skull's comment and
wasted no time in slapping the T-Bone FAT-Plex on Skull. As Thomas went
for the pin,MekZhaoyun came down the aisle. A distracted FAT T-Bone was
bulldogged and pinned for the 3-count by the 2-time Sloppy Award Winner.
Following the match, Mek entered the ring to attack Thomas and the lights
went out. Strange red lights and the Brood's music began playing. The lights
came back on and MekZhaoyun was covered in Keri lotion.
MrPerfectn Interview
Perf: "Last night in Bitters, I finally kicked Suds'
ROO-DY POO PAINTED CANDY CANE ASS. [Mindless GX fans cheer the catch phrase.]
And I think it's about time that I got a shot at a title here in GX. So,
I'd like to make a chall.."
[80s keyboards began playing over the PA]
Perf: "JESUS CHRIST. The Suds-Perf angle is making the Scott vs. Rick
Steiner angle look good now. COME ON."
[Then the obscure 80s song hit the chorus: "I-I-I love LITTLE GIRLS
- they make me feel so GOOD." Perf did the classic heel "Come
on!" motion towards the entranceway,as Logan86121 emerged from the
crowd and attacked him from behind with a chair. Logan executed the Pedophile
(Pedigree) onto the chair and a bleeding Perf was carried to the back.]
Backstage with Miss T0Y & Jade Zhaoyun
T0Y: "Woooo Hooo!!!! Thank you Ms. Jade! For months I've had to kiss
GX's ass and put up with SOPs kissing mine. Finally I've got someone to
count on."
Jade: "Honey, nobody's gonna mess with the STD. Slutty Tempting Divas,baby.
These boys gon' learn the HARD way."
SOPs Interview
[The usual SOP crew arrived sans Yuri,and with a new valet LadyJ587287287.]
DrkIsSOP: "Yuri. Last night, you dropped the ball. Well,your balls
are in MY COURT now. I'll make the DECISIONS around here from now on. Yuri,consider
yourself fired. That goes for you too, Greased Lightning. [The SOPs then
attacked KENICKIE.]
Backstage
G Incognto: "Yeah..that's basically it.."
Charisma93: "Wow. I've never seen this side of you,G."
GHarb77: "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE"
Charisma93: "Harb,settle down. G and I were just discussing corn futures."
GHarb77: "LIES LIES ALL LIES"
[Harb then attacked G with the Mandible Harb and Char shrieked.]
GX World Heavyweight Unified Western States International Champion DaveyDog30
vs. Yuri9186
[Davey came out with the GX and Friends crew again and Yuri's music started
up.]
The Corpse of Herve Villechaize wearing cum-stained sweatpants,Bret Hart sunglasses and jacket came down the aisle as GX laughed. Davey: "We always knew you were short on intelligence...short on talent..short on relatives with teeth..short on a love life outside of AOL..."
[DrkIsSOP then came from the back,attacking DaveyDog30 screaming "YOU DONT UNDERSTAND." Foleyite was yelling something about 'protecting Davey' and went ballistic as Drk began attacking Davey's old football injuries. Foley was screaming "I'll fire your ass" as MekZhaoyun and KaneRobot pulled Drk off of Davey. The SOP Army arrived and the typical SOP/GX brawl erupted.
Backstage
Miss T0Y: "So who's gonna be first,Ms. Jade?"
[GHarb77 walks by.]
Harb: "Wow T0Y, Char would kill me if she knew I said this, but you
look great in that ...uh, piece of string that's almost covering up your..ahem.."
[Jade winks at T0Y.]
[Fade to black.]