Monday Sloptro
Live From the Civic Center in Little Rock,Arkansas
03/08/99
[Backstage footage of GXers GHarb77,Foleyite and MrPerfectn.]
GHarb77: "I don't like AA's new atttitude at all. It's got to go."
Foleyite: "Harb, when you were 19 you would have done anything for
a guy like Davey too."
MrPerfectn: "Foleyite is right. AA is a man and he's responsible for
his own actions. I don't give a rat's ass; I have Suds to worry about."
GHarb77: "ARRRRGH."
New GX Intro
"Davey's NC with Baker. Yuri: Heartbreaker! GHarb,show 'em how. Look,here
comes the SOP gang now. Foleyite: he's so right. T0Y's a whore; those skirts
too tight. Soskull,you old bumn. Ok....ok...AA just cum. Check out HelloDes!
Don't trust what IceWolf said! Char's whinin'. FUSS is lyin'. Perf is tryin'!
Bibby's cryin'! ARE YOU READY? Oh yes suh,are you ready? ARE YOU READY TO
GO? Hey,are you ready? ARE YOU READY? Hahaha,are you ready? ARE YOU
READY TO GO? Zip up your pants,G; I told you we were live! It's Monday Sloptro
baby, just a-hold on tiiiiiight!"
SOP Interview
DrkIsSOP,"The Heartbreak Kid of AOL" Yuri,IceWolf, "Handsome"
Steven Hovis, Ryan4985985938925,KENICKIE,GUNN,Miss T0Y and W46579 arrived
with smiles on their faces. Drk announced that DaveyDog30 made one last
booking decision before leaving GX...that AA would have to defend his title
against Yuri TONIGHT. Yuri grabbed the mic: "Tonight I take your bs
title. At Sloppamania , I take everything you have left when you face me
in a "Smell in the Cell"
Diving Board Death Match brotha" IceWolf grabbed the mic and gloated
that she had Davey sign a Dildo-On-A-Pole match between herself and Char
for Sloppamania. Hovis promised a big SOP win at Sloppamania and said that
after Sloppamania,GX would officially be dead. Hovis: "Oh,by the way
Foleyite?" Hovis handed the mic over to W4. W4 paused and muttered
"Hovis8 is right."
SUDS vs. DOAskull
[Before the match started, GX Color Commentator MFUSS and Skull almost came
to blows,as FUSS began yelling "you old bumn i will get to the bottomn
of this" as Skull made his way down the aisle. ] SUDS entered the arena
wearing a "Where's the Beef?" t-shirt, a denim jacket with a huge
REO Speedwagon patch on the back,but for some reason was not wearing his
patented 1988 Reeboks. As the bell rang, Skull immediately attacked SUDS'
shoeless feet and
slapped on a figure-four. SUDS reversed the hold,only to see MrPerfectn
at the top of the ramp with his 1988 Reeboks,a mic and a match. As Perf
lit the Reeboks on fire, DOAskull bulldogged a distracted SUDS and pinned
him for the three-count. Perfect: "I will take everything you own Suds...even
her." [As Skull walked to the back,FUSS yelled " I wook at your
big fat MOAMsue" Skull stopped in his tracks and looked truly offended.
Skull grabbed a mic
and said "FUSS,you really are dumber than shit." FUSS and Skull
had a scuffle,which Schvnne broke up by sitting on FUSS. It looked like
a shoot.]
GX Locker Room Segment
WCWSchvnne: "Everybody's still shocked about the Davey situation and
tonight we will bring you a special music video. But, let us remind you
fans that GX is one year old! We now take you to the GX locker room,where
the gang is no doubt having the greatest time in the great history of their
lives!"[A surprisingly silent GX was sat with their arms crossed,looking
pissed off at each other in the locker room as Kool and the Gang's "Celebration"
played over the PA.]
G Incognto: Could somebody please pass me a piece of the carrot cake?
DesDev: It's all about you,isn't it?
Charisma93: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
G Incognto: Are you calling me an asshole?
Charisma93: No. Des.
G Incognto: Right on,baby.
GHarb77: G,you MACE me sick.
Intercontinnentally Challenged Champion DesDev vs. DrkIsSOP
Drk attacked Des from behind,and began administering "Shoot-style kneelifts."
Drk then attempted a Doctor Bomb,only to have Des counter it with a sunset
flip. Des took control with a flurry of right hands and a dropkick. Des
gave the signal for the Rosiebuster, but Drk slid out of the ring into the
arms of KENICKIE. Des went to the outside and clotheslined Drk from behind.
As Des rolled Drk back into the ring, KENICKIE slammed Des over the head
with a copy of "Exit to Eden." A wobbly Des walked into a Drk
Death Valley Driver. Drk pinned Des,but Des somehow kicked out. Sensing
victory, Drk slapped on the Drkshooter as KENICKIE mockingly screamed "You
rock,Des!" several times. Des reached the ropes,but the referee let
the match continue. Fans were outraged and began chanting "Bullshit."
The ref whispered to Drk "I have a cyber-girlfriend too,dude."
as trash began to fill the ring. The match was ruled a no-contest. KENICKIE
kicked Des' "Cutie Patootie" and gave the crowd a crotch-slop.
Bibby Promo
[Bibby is on location at a pumpkin patch in Arkansas. Bibby sits next to
a pumpkin with a picture of Yoko Ono taped to the side of it.] Bibby: "Mother,I
know I've let my people down. But I'm now on the winning team. GX is dying,mom.
Jimmy will not mess with my people ever again after Sloppamania. The Great
Pumpkin is gonna raise The Asian Slant-Eye and I'm gonna drop him through
the english announce table, the spanish announce table,HO CHI MING POW through
our living room coffee table. I'm gonna lay the smack down on Jimmy and
Foleyite. And mother,I will dedicate my win to you.
["Dear Yoko" plays in the background as Bibby looks up at the
stars.]
GX World Champion AAisWAR vs. "The Heartbreak Kid of AOL" Yuri
AA came to the ring to Earth Crisis but refused to wrestle Yuri,since he
now respects Yuri more than he does GX. Yuri claimed that "this is
bs". As AA attempted to leave the ring,Yuri tackled his ass,and began
to stomp away at the champ for several minutes. Yuri went for the "Nervous
Breakdown" (TKO) but AA slid down Yuri's back and gave the sign for
the Patented POOPDICK piledriver. Yuri backdropped AA,and began working
over AA's left knee. As Yuri distracted the ref by claiming that AA had
ejaculated on his sweatpants,Ryan58269862986 ran into the ring and hit AA's
left knee with a nightstick. Yuri quickly covered AA,but only got a two-count.
Yuri slammed AA,but missed a Yuri-sault. AA took control of the match,and
began choking Yuri with his hardcore hanging belt. AA executed an Eddy Guerrero-style
powerbomb into a pinning combination,but Yuri kicked out at 2. AA yelled
"SICK" as Yuri delivered a low-blow and followed up with the Nervous
Breakdown. AA appeared to be out cold,but Yuri was too tired to make the
cover. Yuri then slapped on the WTF submission to a mixed reaction. AA answered
the ref's "Do you give up?" with "I don't care" as the
crowd started chants of "Bullshit" and "WE WANT DOG."
After 5 minutes, Yuri released the hold and worked over AA's legs. AA pulled
an inside cradle out of nowhere,but got only a 2-count. AA followed up with
a half-assed Patented Poopdick Piledriver to a huge pop. AA began climbing
to the top turnbuckle,but was stopped short by Yuri,who was punching AA's
DEEK from the inside second turnbuckle. Yuri then tried to attempt a Superplex,
but AA blocked it and sent him crashing to the mat with a Corkscrew Piledriver
from the top rope,which WCWSchvnne claimed was AA's new move "The Earth
Crisis." AA pinned Yuri,but let him up at 2. AA then set Yuri up for
the Patented Poopdick Piledriver,but shook his head no,and let Yuri crumple
to the mat. AA went under the ring and brought a table into play, tossed
Yuri onto the table and Patented POOPDICK Piledrove Yuri through the table
to an enormous pop. The ref called for the bell and gave Yuri the DQ win.
AA then kissed the referee,causing Yuri to have a nervous breakdown in the
middle of the ring.
WCWSchvnne: "That was the greatest World title match in the history of World title matches. Fans,we've witnessed the greatest Sloptro ever since the last one aired. And before we leave you tonight - as we promised - the DaveyDog30 music video. A true icon..he will truly be missed. We'll see you next week."
DaveyDog30 Music Video Tribute
[Footage of Davey's infamous "ASS-BLEED" NC is aired as a piano starts to play.]
"Hovis wishes he he'd known you all his life,
At least that's how it seems.
Never known another way,
Than living out a dream.
Now I know you're leaving AOL,
And I'll never understand.
Before I let you post your farewell,
I have one last demand."
[Footage of Davey and AA giving Yuri a nervous breakdown,along with Davey vs. Harb highlights from "Smelly Game".]
"Tell me an AOLie, and say that you won't go,
Look at my posts, and bash the SOPs even though,
I realize you had to walk away,
No more pretending you're gay."
[Footage of "SMACKAROO" NC and numerous homoerotic Davey quotes.]
"You always were my favorite jock,
Smashing cans on your head.
Raving about Norman Smiley,
And wishing Yuri dead.
And now my dreams are fading,
Like SUDS' acid-wash denim jeans.
Hurts too much to read the HBK board,
Reminds me of my teens.
Tell me an AOLie, and say that you won't go,
Show up in Wrestling Chat, and {{{{{ }}}}} me even though,
I realize you had to walk away,
No more chatting about POOSAY.
Maybe GX could stay together,
Maybe it could last forever,
Maybe if you'll just tell me an AOLie,
Maybe then we'll never say..... goodbyyyyyyyyyyyye."
[Slow-motion footage of Davey walking to the back,stopping midway down the aisle with tears in his eyes looking back at GX and then continuing walking to the back. (see Shawn Michaels at October 1995 "In Your House."]
[Fade to black.]