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Reverend G Incognto, Malaki100, Mr. ANTI and the New Jersey Devil Let Bygones be Bygones
ANTI: "G-Man, sorry about last Monday. Maybe we should have Mal and Kim kiss and make up! LMAO!"

G: "Water under the bridge, my friend. Water under the bridge."

Vince McMahon: "This isn't the time to be discussing Simon & Garfunkel albums, boys. For the past couple of weeks, you've done nothing but whine about wanting the World title. In case you've forgotten, you both ALREADY HAVE TITLES TO DEFEND. And ANTI, if you're so jealous of G getting so many main events, why don't we do this? How about you main event tonight against G in A TITLE VS. TITLE MATCH."

G: "It's "Bridge Over Troubled Water". You said it wasn't time to be discussing Simon & Garfunkel after I said 'water under the bridge'. But their album was entitled "Bridge Over Troubled Water." You should have said that it wasn't time to be discussing the Red Hot Chili Peppers' greatest hits."

Vince: "Well, "Give it Away" was a catchy son of a bitch, but is "Under the Bridge" considered a hit, per se?"

"The Heartbreak Kid of AOL" Yuri vs. Jobber4WCW
Since he hasn't competed in singles competition since September, St. Louis' favorite son was understandably rustier than usual. His sweatpants; crustier than usual. His Prozac; priceless. Jobber punished the youngster with stiff forearm shots and kicks to the chest, before lowering the boom with his own version of the "Sky High". Continuing to emulate the sassy D-Lo Brown, Jobber attempted a frog splash but found nothing but canvas. Yuri immediately tried to slap on the Taz-mission, but Jobber backed Sammy Hagar's only fan into the corner and elbowed him in the face until he crumpled to the mat. Jobber softened the kid up with a pair of Irish whips and then attempted a Frankensteiner. Wise beyond his years, the Heartbreak Kid of AOL caught the Kliq member and somehow found a way to apply the Sharpshooter. Yuri gets the submission win, in a clean contest, and then addresses his fans in a very special interview.

Yuri: "hey everybody thanks for the support and all but tonight is a sad day in the life of Yuri. YuriDog #1 has fallen ill. just like me he has a lot of heart but I don't think he's going to make it. i fed him some tequilla and paxil while I was listening to sammy Hagar and he began to experiecne pain. i hope everyone will keep Sparky in their prayers tonight"

MekZhaoyun: "WAAAAAH. MAH DOGGY. MAH DOGGY. I couldn't give a rat's ass about your dog. I haven't decided whether to ruin your dog's funeral or deep-fry him and feed him to your manic depressed little ass, but I'll be parodying a recent WWF death angle and that's all I got to say about that."

Smart Mark in Crowd: "This is a disgrace! I know this is just all fake, and is part of a storyline, but GX has finally GONE TOO FAR! You don't joke about DEATH! Ask IceWolf!"

Other Guy in Crowd: "You say this about EVERY angle, and you still show up at every event. Stop following the business or stop whining."

Smart Mark in Crowd: "I'd stop following the business, but then I'd have to spend time getting into a good school, talk to women and fix the relationship between me and my parents. Screw that."

Christopher Lowell - Gay Man Walkin'
Lowell: "Ooh! I need to change into something satin! Might as well slip into something comfortable while no one's around!"

Dead Guy From Suddenly Susan: "I suppose I'm chopped liver?"

Lowell: "You haven't spoken since you debuted in March, honey! Which is strange because Andy Kaufman's been dead for years, and he wrestles, talks, walks, and everything! I guess there's just no consistency in the way you dead people are booked in GX!"

DGFSS: "'You dead people'? That's the problem right there, my whimsical friend. The living-impaired are all treated like mid-carders around here. IceWolfX69 is right, you know."

Lowell: "Oh, don't be such a party pooper! I'll turn you into a star! I know what you're thinking. 'Oh great, Lowell's gonna dress me up in a sailor suit and fondle my genitals like a blind man with a basket full of fruit', but TRUST ME!"

"The Greatest Tag Team in GX History" DOAskull & W46578 vs. God & Trent Dilfer
Earlier today, at a press conference in Little Rock, Arkansas:
W4: "LOOK. I wasn't trying to say that we're better workers than Jesus, or that our micwork is necessarily better. I was just saying that we are more well-known than Jesus. It wasn't a bad thing, or meant to be a bad thing. I just said it, and that's that."

Right now, hey, it's your tomorrow:
God: "W4, you don't impress me with your blasphemous comments. You need to remember that if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't BE HERE."

W4: "My mother and father made me, actually."

God: "Well, yes. But their parents made them and so on, leading to the creation of Man. Which was MY project. As for your crap about being more over than Jesus, that man DIED FOR YOUR SI.."

W4: "I don't believe in Jesus. I just believe in me. YOKO AND ME."

Dilfer: "All of this religiony talk has me flabbacasted. ANYONE GOT ANY WEIGHT GAIN 2000 HANDY?"

Skull: "That's it. MATCH IS POSTPONED UNTIL TOMORROW ON SLOPTRO. THERE WILL BE NO ENCORE. GOODNIGHT SPRINGTON."

Foleyite Becomes a Paranoid Android
Foley: "T0Y, you've got to promise me that you will NOT interfere in any of my matches from now on. And I can't help you out in your matches anymore, either. People are talking. I've heard t'ings. It's pretty stupid, but I don't want to take any chances. I'm right about this, you know."

T0Y: "Just relax. I know what'll cheer you up."

Foley: "Watching Shawn Michaels' entrances in slow-motion together? YES YES YES! Hey, why is my dressing room covered in graffiti? "GO BACK TO ENGLAND"? "YOUR SISTER KISSES ME ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU KNOW"? DAMN YOU, OUTKAST! DAMN YOU, WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

T0Y: "Outkast isn't the only one with spraypaint around here, from the looks of things."

Foley: "GOD NO! SAY IT ISN'T SO! The Shawn Michaels compilation tapes! FOREVER DESTROYED! AND "HBK REFUSED TO JOB TO BRET" SPRAYPAINTED ACROSS THE TAPE!!! DAMN YOU, ICEWOLF!!!!! DAMN YOU, YOU BRET HART-LOVING BITCH!"

T0Y: "This is bad, but jeez...calm down. Have you been hanging around Yuri or something lately?"

Vince McMahon Makes an Important Call
Vince: "Hello. Terry?"

Terry: "YEAH? CAN YOU HOLD ON A SECOND, DUDE? MY CREPES ARE DONE, BROTHER."

Vince: "Terry, I ... I need your help. For this GX hullabaloo entitled..Snowed In.. I desire an epic money-making match. I've got a charismatic superstar by the name of DesDev, but I can't seem to find a suitable opponent."

Terry: "QUITE A DILEMMA, BROTHER. AND I CAN'T HELP YOU OUT, DUDE. VINCE, CAN WE SPEAK ANOTHER TIME? I'M TRYING TO MAKE DOUBLE MUSHROOM LASAGNA FOR MY NINTH MEAL OF THE DAY. TAKE CARE, DUDE."

Vince: "Well, that's the last time I ask Terry Bradshaw for advice. Christ."

Title vs. Title Match: Intercontinentally challenged champion Reverend G Incognto (With Malaki100) vs. Harbcore champion Mr. ANTI (With the New Jersey Devil)
The holy duo of G and Mal received a huge reaction, as per usual, and the Reverend gave a front-row fan a Bible. That Incognto, does he EVER stop giving? The hardcore duo of ANTI and Kim received a decent reaction themselves. AOL's Most Lovable Man brought the old garbage can full of goods along, and offered a front-row fan a necklace made from raccoon testicles. The fan screamed and ran into the night. The ANTI One then tossed his Rubbermaid companion into the ring, and the match was on. The Reverend walked around the ring and waited to be hit with ANTI's weapons as "Natural Born Killaz" played over the P.A. system. The G-Man was hit with a chair, a sawed-off broom handle, a fishing pole, and the head of Payne Stewart before falling to the mat. But the tenacious Reverend was up within seconds and tattooing the Harbcore champion with knife-edge chops. After a snap suplex, G executed a legdrop and procured the first near-fall.

WCWSchvnne: "This may be the best match we've ever had on Sloppy Night Heat, King."

Jerry Lawler: "This match is great and all, Schvnne, but I've got the New Jersey Devil on my lap! AAGGGGGHHH!!! Kim, is it true that the legal age of consent in Jersey is 11?"

Kim: "Uh, I think I need to stand on the apron and cheer ANTI on or something."

As the clash of the champions continued in the ring, KaneRobot began walking down the entrance ramp with a table and a chair. No, he is not going to interfere and use them as weapons. He just wanted a comfortable chair and table to sit at, while he got an up-close look at this important contest. And what a contest it was. After a brutal powerbomb, G attempted a superplex but was shoved to the mat. The ANTI One came crashing down with a frog splash and pinned the incomparable Reverend. ONE. TWO. Not really. After doing the now-infamous Ass-Tapping Porn Dance, ANTI pointed to his garbage can of goods. The crowd squealed, as he pulled out an elephant penis. He chucked that thing with all his might, but G ducked and the giant appendage flew into Kim. The momentum knocked her off of the apron and through the table that Kane was sitting at.

Kane: "SIGH. BILLS BILLS BILLS."

WCWSchvnne: "Oh my god, this is a truly tragic occurence, fans."

Jerry Lawler: "TRAGIC?! I just saw somebody throw an ELEPHANT PENIS that hit a woman in the head and sent her into a table, where Kane was heard to be screaming "SIGH BILLS BILLS BILLS". If that's not comedy, WHAT THE HELL IS?"

WCWSchvnne: "Well, duh. Didn't you ever watch "Family Matters"?

Since he checked to see if Kim was alright, ANTI was counted out. No titles changed hands, but elephant penises were thrown and people were hurt. Kane and ANTI helped the New Jersey Devil to her feet, as G came from behind and knocked their heads together. Without anyone to hold her up, the New Jersey Devil fell and landed on the raccoon testicle necklace that the traumatized fan had turned down.

MrPerfectn, GHarb77 and AAisWAR arrived at the scene of the crime to make sure things didn't get any worse.

Perf: "Don't you see? This is what Vince wants. He wants us to fight with each other. He wants us to involve animal penises in matches, just for shock value. G, you're better than that, dammit."

Harb: "Perf is right. Let's just go home and forget this ugliness ever took place. 'Practice' Party at my place, guys?"

AA: "I understand your guys' points about Vince wanting us to fight and everything, but I'm the only cool person who deserves a World title shot."

AA's "too-cool" attitude brought out the demons in Perfectn, who went on the offensive. Harb tried to break it up and took an elbow in the cheek from AA. Harb and Perf then began double-teaming the Californian, until the Big Hanson-Lovin' Machine shoved them to the ground. The war between G and ANTI flared up again, and even the diplomatic Malaki couldn't break it up. As the six World title hopefuls brawled, the GodwinnTron showed a content Vince McMahon in his locker room.

Vince: "SIX MEN WHO WANT A WORLD TITLE SHOT GOING AT IT! HAHAHA! Get it?"

Trent Dilfer: "Nope."

[Fade to black.]