GX Sloppy Night Heat
Live from the GX Arena in Bitters, Arkansas
06/27/99
[Disclaimer: Sloppy Night Heat has no accompanying wav and is merely a set-up
for the weekly smash hit "GX Sloptro". This post should in no
way be compared to Sloptro, or be criticized for being short and largely
unfunny. ]
WCWSchvnne: "Before we start tonight's show, I must introduce the newest addition to the GX broadcast team, Harry Caray. Harry. Harry, put the Bud down. Wer'e on."
Harry Caray: "Hey everyboday! Harry Caray here. Say, WCWSchvnne, if hot dogs had legs, would ya race one? I raced an Indian one time. His skin kinda looked like a hot dog. "
WCWSchvnne: " ... "
GUNN vs. StevieSlam
Despite being a heel, GUNN recieved a warm reception and a warm can of Stroh's
from his fellow drunken hillbillies. As Stevie made his way to the ring,
a drunken hillibilly in an ECW shirt spat in Stevie's face. GUNN took advantage
of the situation by rolling to the outside, kicking Stevie, and then hitting
him with an Ahmed Johnson-style scissor-kick. Stevie didn't move after the
kick. The GX EMTs
(gay friends of DaveyDog30, wearing nurse outfits) rushed to ringside, but
were distracted by a fan who resembled Edge. GUNN was given the win. Stevie
and the guy resembling Edge were given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation ...
several times. Following the match, ROMER attacked GUNN with a nightstick
and challenged him to a Loser Leaves Town Shoney's Street Fight for next
week's Sloppy Night Heat. The drunken GUNN accepted, thinking ROMER said
"I balance
you to booze leaves down horny free for Lex Luger."
DaveyDog30 & Charisma93 Promo From Disneyland - Live
::shot of Davey and Char getting into the Pirates of the Carribean boat::
Davey: "GHarb77 likes to think that he's the icon of GX. Well, this
is a shoot, brah. Yeah, he founded GX, but co-founded it with ME. And I'M
the one who carried GX to new heights. I'M the one making all the guest
appearances on WCW Live. I'M the superstar, Harb. See Harb, you've gotta
be in Fantasy Land, to think that Char would EVER - and the Dog means EVER
- want a silly bastard like you. Charisma
doesn't want to be with the pretender to the throne, she wants to be with
the KING. And I AM the king, I am the MASTER OF CUNNILINGUS. And here at
Disneyland, Char may ride Space Mountain once during the course of the LONG...HOT..day.
But when we get back to the hotel, she'll be ridin' Space Mountain TWO TWO
TWO TIME TWO TIME WHOOOOO!"
Guy In the Blue Bayou: "Keep it down, fucker. I'm TRYIN' to eat lunch
here."
Merogal13 vs. Malaki100
Malaki100 came to the ring to The Cure's "Fascination Street",
moaning all the way. As Merogal13 made her way to the ring, JimmyXite snuck
up behind her.
Jimmy: "Remember that time in the chatroom, when you came in and sai
'hi' to me? I didn't tell you then, but I had the HUGEST boner."
Mr. ANTI came down the aisle, running like a bitch in heat and started pummeling
Jimmy as Malaki sat on the top turnbuckle masturbating. The match was ruled
a no-contest, but Todd Pettengill asked the crowd who the real winner was,
and they all chanted Malaki's name. How Pettengill ever got into the GX
Arena, we'll never know. Let's just hope it NEVER happens again.
Reverend G Incognto Promo
The Reverend talked about his upcoming World title match with BAHUMUTH at
Fully Bloated and shocked fans with his shoot comments on several superstars.
On BAHU: "I've done my homework, Mr. Fetal Alchohol Syndrome. The subtle changes in fine motor coordination and behavioral and learning problems you undoubtedly endure, due to your illness, give me the advantage in our match on July 11."
On KaneRobot: "He won't sell a chairshot, but he'll sell beer to
kids."
Miss T0Y Backstage Promo
T0Y: "Wooo hooo! Um hi, Mr. harb, can I ask you a question, sir?"
Harb: "It's like I was telling G earlier. The figures lose a LOT of
value, if you open them."
T0Y: "No no, Char and MattyDog30 challenged me to a mixed tag. You
hate Char, so you could be my partner."
Harb: "I'd love to. I mean..finally getting my hands on Char - in a
violent, non-sexual manner, of course. Grabbing her XXXX-pantie wearin'
sorry ass by the hair and slamming her head into the ringpost again..and
again.. AAAAAAND KNITTING AAAAAAND KNITTING AAAAND KNITTING AAAAAAND KNITTING.
Um. Yeah..so anyway, I'd love to, but I'm booked against Davey already that
night."
T0Y: "Hey Harb, who is this roody poo?"
Harb: "My new valet, Karla. It's about time I got a woman with panties
that couldn't fit over the Astrodome, T0Y."
TonyIsDrk (With "Handsome" Steven Hovis &
LadyJ6I56A7M5YO22598677U626184851857966829586964966RG69OD6) vs. DOAskull
Hovis: "Ladies and gentlemen, let me first introduce myself: the quintessential
face-stuffe..ahem, studmuffin. STEVEN 'Give my love handles names, you'll
be screaming them later' HOVIS. And I represent a man weighing in at a buff,
chiseled and JACKED.."
Drk: "I'm not buff. I'm not jacked. I'm a fat piece o' shit."
Hovis: "Dude, that just means there is more of you to love."
DOAskull hit the ring, and dominated Drk. Drk made several comeback attempts,
but his low self-esteem definitely affected his ringwork. Hovis motivated
Drk by reminding him that his secret would be revealed if he lost, and Drk
began to pick up some momentum. Drk hit Skull with a series of "shoot-kneelifts"
and executed a fine Fisherman's buster to get the first near-fall of the
match. Hovis did the Meanie DACE, as Drk gave the signal for the Carpal
Tunnel Claw. Skull blocked the attempt, kicked Drk in the pineapples and
delivered a High Angle DDT. Skull ran the ropes, but was tripped up by Hovis.
Skull got to his feet, only to walk right into the Drk Valley Driver. One.
Two. Three. Drk gets the win and escapes with his secret intact.
WCWSchvnne: "Will Drk's secret be revealed tomorrow on Sloptro after he faces The ANTI One? Will T0Y find a partner for her Fully Bloated match? And what does DaveyDog30 have in store for GX? FIND OUT TOMORROW ON SLOPTRO!!!!!"
Harry Caray: "Hey Schvnne! Will T0Y's partner be a snowman?"
WCWSchvnne: "Alright, this must be a joke."
Harry Caray: "It's a simple question. Don't jerk me around."
WCWSchvnne: "We've gotta go, fans."
Harry Caray: "CUBS WIN. CUBS WIN."
[Fade to black.]