GX Sloppy Night Heat
Live from the Granny Godwinn Memorial in Bitters, Arkansas
06/20/99
Muta4Ever & Outkast Interview
The former Posse members came out wearing gas masks and moving their arms
around in a strange urban manner.
Outkast: "Aww yeah. In the double 9, M.4.E and O-Dog gon' be runnin'
thangs."
Muta: "Yo yo, my brothers. BAHU, you treat us like dawgs and expect
us to still pop a cap on GX? Excuse me, holmes."
Outkast: "Word. You can't replace us with those friggity frontas the
Pumpkin Express. In fact, we issuin' a challenge. Bibby, Ryan90210, Sax,
whicheva's cleva. Bring it on tomorrow night, 'cause we fixin' to MOP up
the floor wit ya'll if ya smell where the 'Kast is comin' from."
Muta: "YO YO YO THOSE STRAWBERRY PUMPKINHEAD FOOS TALKIN ABOUT THEY
BE FO LIFE"
Outkast: "Dude, our time is up."
Muta: "Sorry."
The debuting StevieSlam vs. TonyIsDrk (With "Handsome" Hovis &
LadyJ58626)
Hovis: "Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce myself. The quintessential
face-stuffer. Weighing in at a chiseled, buff and JACKED 290 pounds, HANDSOME
Steven Hovis."
The crowd really got on Hovis' case, but he just smiled and ignored the
derogatory chants. He's a lover; not a fighter. StevieSlam turned out to
be the crazed Harb fan wearing polkadots after all. As we all know, if Drk
loses, LadyJ5726will reveal that dirty secret of Drk's to the WORLD. Stevie
didn't get in any offense, and Drk quickly disposed of him with the Carpal
Tunnel Claw. Drk gets the submission squash victory in 1:19. Hovis ate a
pig's head
as he and Drk celebrated.
StevieSlam's Thoughts on the Match with Drk: :(
The debuting MattyDog30 (With Charisma93 & DaveyDog30) vs. Norman Smiley
Char, Davey and Matty came to the ring, wearing SNAZZY blue and yellow Posse
jackets and waving little GX flags. Smiley got the crowd going with the
ASS TAPPING PORN DANCE and gave Matty the "Magic Bodyslam". Char
distracted the ref, by hiking up her CSG skirt as Davey entered the ring.
The Dog Brothers hit Smiley with the HART ATTACK as the ref was distracted
by Char's Aladdin panties. Matty
followed up with a MAGNIFIQUE standing moonsault and pinned Smiley as the
ref turned around. One. Two Three. Matty beats Smiley in his debut. Yowza.
Following the match, a frustrated Davey got on the mic.
Davey: "You fans need to SHUT YOUR MOUTHS. You don't know the SACRIFICES
we make to entertain you people. HELL, we are missing Eeyore's Birthday
for this and you PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!!"
Drunk Guy In Crowd: "I GIVE A DAMN BITCH TAKE IT OFF CHARISMA WHOOOO"
Charisma93 vs. Merogal13
Before the match began, Mantaur (dressed in an usher's outfit) handed Merogal
an oh-so-mysterious package. Mero began to open it, cringed and threw the
package back at Mantaur.
Mantaur: "Hey now, show the Half-man, Half-Beast some respect, lady.
I'm only delivering the package. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Aw man. No one fears me
like they're supposed to. I'm gonna get something from Taco Bell. Be back
later."
Char German suplexed Merogal for a two-count, and followed up with the CSG
Bomb, which was countered by a Mero DDT. Char kicked out at 2, ducked a
lariat and hit Mero with the CSG Bomb. Char pins Mero in 2:15. After the
match, Miss T0Y appeared in the aisle.
T0Y: "You wanna throw a USC sweatshirt on me and degrade the good name
of UCLA, you goddamn bitch?"
Charisma: "Relax, you fucking slut. I only did that because I was thinking
of going to USC. But I think I'm gonna go to UCSC now."
WCWSchvnne: "Oh good lord. That's DaveyDog30's NECK of the woods."
A furious T0Y charged the ring, ducked a pair of Char elbows and gave Char
the Superkick From Hell! T0Y then sprayed "UCLA" across Char's
back in yellow spraypaint.
Pumpkin Express Interview
Ryan16TonsWhattaYaGet bragged about the Pumpkin Express' dominance of the
tag team division since winning the belts, and bringing in The Sax as a
third member. KaneRobot then came down the aisle, and apologized for his
drunken antics on last week's Sloptro.
Kane: "I know how to handle my liquor. Somebody spiked that damn drink."
Ryan2Legit2Quit: "And I can do it again.. how do you think the pictures of you drunk off your ass were taken?"
Kane: "What the hell?"
Ryan6InThe(6InTheMo'nin): "It was ME, dad. I spiked that drink."
Kane leapt into the ring, but was beaten down by Ryan18AndLifeTOGO! and The Sax. Ben Bibby joined the fun and attempted to stab Kane with a mop. Kane moved just in time and ran to the back.
Kane: "MEKZHAOYUN, COME HOME YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
::close-up of mop sticking into the ring::
Intercontinentally challenged champ DaveyDog30 vs. Reverend G Incognto
The Reverend proclaimed that tonight would be "G's shoot night",
and boy was it ever. He shot a load on Homophobic Screaming Guy to a HUGE
pop (pun intended). Homophobic Screaming Guy had a seizure. G then bashed
DaveyDog30 for several hours.
G: "Davey, you dress yer little brother up as Winnie the Pooh and push
him here in GX? EHH EHH! You watch yer little Disney tapes? EHH EHH!! And
you wanted me to marry you and Char? EHH EHH! Uhh.....EHH EHH!!!!"
In the midst of this strange shoot, Davey hit G from behind with a copy
of "Anastasia" and wasted no time hitting him with a fabulous
Running Powerslam for the first near-fall of the match. G then reversed
a Davey whip and blasted the champion with a dropkick that would make Hardcore
Holly proud. Davey rolled to the outside, where he was hit with a nasty
G clothesline. G then took FUSS' headset and stood on top of the broadcast
table.
G: "Take a look, Schvnne and FUSS! The Reverend is teaching the old
DaveyDog some new tricks if ya smell what the Reverend"
Before G finished, a fan wearing a KaneRobot mask behind him in the front
row, leapt onto the table and then gave him the "Rock Bottom"
right through the thing. The fan unmasked, and it was everyone's favorite
victim of Fetal Alchohol Syndrome: BAHUMUTH. Davey hopped up on the apron
and laughed at the attack. GHarb77 came out of nowhere and FLEW at Davey
with a toy lightsaber, sending Davey into the first row. As fans went wild,
Charisma93 charged
the ring and hit Harb with a SICK low-blow. Char strutted around the ring
to huge boos, as Miss T0Y hit the ring. T0Y and Char brawled in the ring,
while G and Harb brawled with BAHU and Davey on the outside to a huge pop.
[Fade to black.]