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Royal Rumble 1992

Who doesn't love this Pay Per View? The day Hogan was booed.

The New Foundation vs. Orient Express
New Foundation is of course the short lived duo of Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart. Hart and Kato trade some good stuff to start. Neidhart slams Kato down hard on the mat and Owen comes off with a elbow from the top. Owen backflips off the turnbuckle and hits Tanaka with a spinning heel kick. Neidhart gets shot right into Tanaka in the corner. Double noggin knocker on the Orient Express and Owen leaps off with a double crossbody on both members of the Express. Owen gets a cane shot from Fuji. Owen gets Ricky Mortoned for a while till he comes back with a double dropkick and tags in Neidhart who slingshots his big ass over the top rope on both Orient Express members. Owen Hart with a TOPE SUICIDA on Kato and the crowd is nutso. Rocket Launcher and it's sayonara baby. Good match.

Match Rating: ***1/2

Footage is shown of the Mountie winning the title away from Bret Hart a few nights before. Bret had a 104 degree fever. Jacques Rougeau is truly KING. This sets up tonight's title match.

Piper gives a pretty Hipster interview. This sets up....

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper
Oh I love the Mountie and if you don't like it POOP ON YOU!! Mountie is introed first even though he is the champ. Crowd goes nuts for Piper as they should since he was still pretty cool at this point. Piper has a chance to win both title belts since he is participating in the Royal Rumble. Like many Piper matches the workrate is terrible but the markout value is HUGE. Piper pulls a bulldog out of his bag of tricks. Piper does a lot of punching but he does it as only Piper pre WCW stint can do. HA Piper tries a dropkick but misses. Mountie with a flying elbow. Piper gets tossed to the outside as Heenan explains how he once wrestled with a 113 degree temperature. RODDY PIPER STYLE EYE POKE!! Mountie gets rammed into Hart and Piper puts the Sleeper on Mountie. Mountie can't hold on and WHOOO PIPER WINS!! Sure the match sucked but god damn is it SWANK to see Piper and the crowd going nuts over
Piper's first title win in the WWF.

Lord Alfred Hayes interviews that Frenchy Bastard Hulk Hogan.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers
Oh no Bushwhackers. OH NO JAMESON!! I've seen this before and to save me the aggravation I'm going to just rate it now.

Match Rating: -* (just horrible)

LOD not yet 2000 vs. Natural Disasters
Earthquake does a dropkick and Gorilla Monsoon notes, "That wouldn't hit Sky Lo Low." That was the most exciting thing of this match. LOD gets counted out and Hawk gives the WEAKEST chairshot ever.

Match Rating: DUD

SEAN MOONEY interviews Natural Disasters and boy are they pissed and fat.
SEAN MOONEY interviews HBK and they show the infamous Barber Shop footage of when HBK tossed Jannety through the Barber Shop glass. Shawn gives a great interview, one of his first heel interviews, and he finishes it off with, "I'm gonna show everyone what I've known all along. That I'm the HOTTEST thing the WWF has ever layed eyes on."

"The Fink" gives the rules of the Royal Rumble. I <3 FINKEL.

The Royal Rumble Match
A completely roided up British Bulldog is number one. I remember being VERY dissapointed as a youngster when I found out Bulldog was number one. DiBiase with Sensational (doesn't) Shavey. Rumble starts with a nice Old Skool Mid South sequence which DiBiase mastered for so many years. Gutwrench Suplex by Dibiase to prove. DiBiase poses to the crowd and Bulldog clotheslines him out, corwd goes wild. They calmly wait for numbe rthree and it's...RIC FLAIR. HEENAN FREAKS OUT!!!! Bulldog presses Flair high in the air and works hjim over good till Sags from The Nasty Boys comes out. Ahhh fond memories of the Nasty Boys great Summerslam 92 interview. Flair lays in a viscious chop and left hand while Sags holds Davey Boy. Bulldog tosses Sags out but he lands on the apron. Sags celebrates that he has not been eliminated and Bulldog dropkicks him off the apron to the floor. Haku is number 5 and out he comes. Haku and Flair work over Davey until the inevitable happens and Haku and Flair get into it. Haku with a MAGNIFIQUE piledriver on Davey Boy. Flair with a great rolling kneedrop on Haku that actually hits. Shawn Michaels is Number 6 and is BOOED out of the building. Shawn and Flair go at it. Two of the greatest heels ever trying to outsell the other one. Damn talk about a mark out moment, HEEL MICHAELS AND HEEL FLAIR FIGHTING EACH OTHER~!!! Well here comes Tito to ruin our fun. Santana, Flair, Michaels, and Davey Boy. Well the heels rule at least. Shawn does a ultra convincing "AHHH I'M GONNA BE ELIMINATED OH I HELD ON TO THE ROPE!!". Flair with a low blow on Davey Boy and all the men in the audience cringe in horror. Number 8 is counted down and it's the Barbarian. BLEH! Santana's chest is getting red because of Flair's chops. Nothing fun happens. Texas Tornado is 9 and he goes at it with Flair. Not exactly 1985 Texas Stadium but it will do. Davey slingshots HBK halfway across the ring. REPO MAN is number 10. Damn no entrance music. Gorilla notes that Repo Man has no idea where the ring is. Tito crossbodies Barbarian. That stupid beaner, pinfalls don't count in a Royal Rumble. OUTTA HERE! The ring is really starting to fill up. Barbarian and Flair take turns chopping Von Erich. Greg The Hammer Valentine comes out and people think it's Hogan and the place goes nuts. Dumbasses. Nothing important happens as Number 12 comes out and here comes NIKOLAI VOLKOFF!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! Gorilla Monsoon horrifies all wrestling fans speculating that Volkoff could be our next WWF Champion. Volkoff comes in and literally hops around the ring smiling looking for something to do. He is just happy he is eating I guess. Volkoff is so white and flabby. Hammer puts on the FIGURE FOUR on Flair as Volkoff goes out. He ;asted maybe 30 seconds. Now guys are just walking around the ring looking for something to do. Time to clear some dead weight. Here comes the Bossman as 13. Flair and Hammer trade some sick chops until Hammer gets tossed. Bossman tosses Repo old skool over the top rope style. Davey Boy gets tossed by Flair and the crowd is PISSED. Kerry Von Erich is tossed. But only one foot hit the ground, doesn't that mean he's not eliminated. Heh heh. Santana and Michaels both eliminate each other. Barbarian, Hercules, Bossman, and Flair are left. Barbarian nearly eliminates Flair until Hercules tosses Barbarian over and Flair lands on the apron. Then Bossman dumps Hercules. Bossman works over Flair until in one of the funniest Rumble moments evber, Flair ducks a Bossman bodyblock and Bossman doesn't fall out, so he has to jump over the top sort of purposely eliminating himself because he was supposed to go out the first time. MUCH funnier then it sounds. So Flair is the only man left and he is lying in the ring dead. Then Number 14 is none other the Roddy Piper. Fantastic booking, of all the people to come out Piper is the one. Piper works over Flair and the crowd is going wild. Piper up for the TEN PUNCHES OF DOOM until Flair tries a inverted atomic drop. The inevitable happens. Piper no sells it and he finishes Flair off with the RODDY PIPER EYE POKE OF DESTRUCTION!!! TWO IN ONE NIGHT!!! I love it. Piper with a AIRPLANE SPIN!!!!! HAHAHA!! Piper slaps on the Sleeper and Heenan is brewing a fondue in his pants. Number 15 is the Jake the Snake Roberts. THE HIGHER POWER!! Jake just sits back as Piper is killing Flair. Jake and Flair high five and of course Jake does his short clothesline and signals for the DDT until Piper saves Flair. Heenan is so thankful he even says that Piper's kilt is well a kilt. Of course Piper beats up Flair and Heenan retracts what he just said. Jim Duggan comes out next and the crowd is insane with lust and joy. Duggan exposes the business with his offense on Flair. Piper and Duggan go at it and the crowd is confused. Jake rams his knee into Duggan's rotund scrotum with a inverted atomic drop. IRS comes out next and slowly walks to the ring. Flair and Jake almost dump Piper until Duggan delights the crowd wit ha double noggin knocker. Flair has been in 36 minutes. Martel holds the record with 55 I think. Snuka is Number 17. Snuka walks to the ring like he walked around a hotel naked with a dead woman in his hotel room. Snuka attempts to gain some heat by working on Flair. Undertaker is the next participants. While he slowly walks to the ring I tell you of my Undertaker Has Bad Luck At The Royal Rumble Theory. Think about it: 1991 he was eliminated by LOD early, 1992 he is eliminated by Hulk, 1993 Giant Gonzales eliminates him, 1994 Yokozuna KILLS him, 1995 I think he beat IRS one of his only positive Rumble experiences, 1996 Uhhh I forgot what he did, 1997 He loses to Vader, 1998 he is KILLED AGAIN this time by Kane, 1999 he sacrifices Mable. Anyway next to come out is Savage and he goes INSANE on Jake since Jake bitch slapped Elizabeth. Savage tosses Jake then LEAPS over the top rope. They let it go since he needs to be tossed by someone else. Is that so KANE?? Flair with the funniest low blow on the Undertaker. Out comes the Berzerker. Brody your not but you got the HUSS down. I love when Berzerker would do that Rockette Split. What a man. Flair tries to suplex Savage out of the ring but it's reversed. WWF teases a mature attitude as IRS and Berzerker spread Duggan's legs as as they try to toss him. Virgil is 21. Where is Repo Man when you need him? Undertaker's ONLY move in this entire match is a choke. It's Colonel Mustafa as Number 22. He and Adnan do there best Bushwhacker impersonation. I guess the Iron Sheik forgot about selling as he literally does nothing but dot around weakly punching till he gets thrown out. Rick Martel comes out to defend his record. Martel holds the record at 52 Minutes and 35 seconds. Martel deperately tries to throw Flair since Flair is only 2 minutes away from his record. Mutstafa thankfully gets tossed by Savage. The crowd counts down as HULK HOGAN comes out and there is something in the air tonight as he doesn't get th expected mammoth pop from the corwd. Just a big ovation. All the heels work on Hogan until of course he comes back with EYE RAKES OF UNCANNY HORROR!! Hogan clears out some dead wood, eliminating Undertaker and Berzerker. Virgil and Hacksaw both go out together. IRS, Hogan, Piper, Savage, Martel, and Flair are in the ring. Out comes Skinner as Number 25. Flair catches the longevity record for the Royal Rumble. Flair and Hogan go at it with SUPRISE Hogan winning the exchange. Sgt. Slaughter is Number 28 and has lost all his heat by this time. He's happy American Slaughter at this point and the crowd could care less. Skinner is tossed. Slaughter and Hogan go at rekindling that AMAZING MIND BOGGLING fued between Slaughter and Hogan, Steamboat-Flair has nothing on those guys. Sid Viscious is next and gets a huge ovation. Time to clear some dead weight, we need a hulk up or something. Warlord comes out as Number 30 and THE MATCH BEYOND BEGINS!! Oh wait wrong promotion. Flair goes under the bottom rope and Hogan suplexes him on the ringside area. Slaughter takes a FANTASTIC bump with Sid whipping him hard into the corner and Slaughter going over over the turnbuckles and out. IRS gets dumped and Sid tosses out Martel and Piper. The Final Four are Hogan, Flair, Sid, and Savage. Damn good Final Four. Sid tosses out Savage and the corwd is getting tense, Sid sits back and watches UNTIL Hogan gets dumped by Sid and the crowd goes NUTS!! THEY ARE ESTATIC!!! Hogan starts whining and grabs Sid by the arm as Flair comes from behind and tosses Sid from behind. FLAIR WINS~!!! HEENAN GOES INSANE WITH JOY~!! THE CROWD IS GOING INSANE!!! THEY ARE LOVING IT!!!The crowd is jeering Hogan and the big "HULK WHO?" sign comes up with Sid pointing to it. The Molesting Officials run out to make sure they don't go at it. They need a Wrestlemanis Main Event damnit. Was Flair the first guy to be WCW and WWF Champion?

Match Rating: ****1/2 (markout value is five stars though)

Backstage they present Flair with his title belt. Mean Gene yells at someone telling them to put hat cigarette out.

Overall: The greatest Royal Rumble match EVER. Flair goes for a hour and captures the WWF title. WWF was so stacked with talent at this point. Flair could carry anybody, HBK was breaking out, Bret Hart was the next big thing, Hulk was retiring, Macho Man could still go, and they had plenty of veterans who could still draw. The Royal Rumble match itself is a MUST see for any wrestling fan, you just have to see it. When I ordered it as a youngster you truly had no idea who was going to win. You had Hogan, Flair, Sid, Piper (that whole double belt thing), Savage, Undertaker, and even outside chances like Jake Roberts or Jim Duggan. You truly did not know. Still hold up after all these years.