GX Monday Sloptro
Live from the GX Arena in Bitters,Arkansas
05/24/99
Footage of Parking Lot
::MekZhaoyun and KaneRobot arrive,humming Queen's "Princes of the Universe"::
Mek: "We should call ourselves that, The Princes of the Universe."
Kane: "I don't know. Sounds pretty gay to me."
BAHUMUTH Interview
BAHUMUTH (wearing the GX World title), DaveyDog30,JimmyXite, Muta4Ever,
Outkast and W46578 entered the arena to "No Chance in Hell". BAHUMUTH
claimed that GX was a thing of the past and that "The Posse" was
here to stay. BAHU handed the mic to Davey who bragged about putting Foleyite
out of action with the infamous Tombstone,which they replayed on the GodwinnTron.
Davey: "Here I am in my snazzy Wyngs0Gold outfit. Off of the ramp with
a Tombstone and.."
BAHU: "BOOYAH!!! YEAH BABY!!"
Davey: "Haha, the most electrifying spot in AOL history. And now on
to tonight. With Foleyite gone, I am indeed the booker once again, and it's
time for some adjustments. Drk vs. Perf will take place TONIGHT...with Muta
refereeing. King of the Dong qualifier: Rude vs. Dead Guy? No no, JimmyXite
vs. Dead Guy. That's more like it. Now it just wouldn't be fair to Rude
to take him out of this prestigious tournament..so I'm giving you a spot,Rude.
Not a spot like your..oh forget it. You and BAHU, winner meets the GX World
champ at King of the Dong. And finally, for my own personal enjoyment, T0Y
vs. Mero vs. Char in a three-way birthday suit match. MAGNIFIQUE!"
At this point,DesDev appeared on the entrance ramp.
Des: "We all saw what you did to Foleyite, Davey. And when you hurt
my friends - well, you hurt my pride. I've got to be a man. I can't let
it slide. You're talented,Davey. No one can deny that. But let me tell you
something brother - you're no Foleyite."
Davey: "You just made your SECOND mistake, Des. The first was walking
out here. Your second was what you just said. Your third would be challenging
me to a match at King of the Dong with your belt on the line."
Des: "Why would I do that? How stupid do I look?"
Davey: "Ehh.. fairly stupid...but you're not a bad-looking man honestly.
Anyway, I'm the booker again, so I'm booking you to defend that title against
me at the slop-per-view anyway. Cry about it."
Backstage Footage
::GHarb77 is seen knocking on G Incognto's dressing room door::
Harb: "G....you can't stay locked in your room forever."
G: "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Harb: "G, IT MEANT NOTHING. Now just unlock this door and we can talk
about this."
::G Unlocks the door::
King of the Dong Qualifying Match: JimmyXite vs. Dead Guy From Suddenly
Susan
Dead Guy entered to the ring to "Push the Little Daisies" and
was accompanied by the Decaying Torso of Dana Plato. They recieved a nice
crowd response. Jimmy refused to wrestle Dead Guy, saying that Guy From
Suddenly Susan has ceased to live. The referee informed Jimmy that Dead
Guy was merely "pining for the fiords." After several minutes
of this and threats of legal action from John Cleese, Jimmy snapped and
went to work on Dead Guy. Very stiff
match. Jimmy won with Damn Damnanator in 2:14 to advance into the slop-per-view
tournament. Following the match, Mr. ANTI power-walked to the ring.
JimmyXite/Mr. ANTI Summit
Jimmy: "You said you'd either shake my hand or bitchslap me, rip my
pants off and rape my ass like a chicken last week. I wonder how's it going
to be 'cause I don't caaaaaare. How's it gonna be?"
ANTI: "Ragu-boy, lately you've been acting like a real serious asshole.
You ditch me in the GX tag title tourney and you knew how much being accepted
by GX meant to me. But dammit, we go way back and I could never hit a friend."
Jimmy smiled, as he and ANTI shook hands to HUGE boos.
WCWSchvnne: "This is sickening. Absolutely sickening. Chicken rapists
of a feather stick together."
ANTI: "But you are no friend of mine, you sick son of a bitch!"
ANTI bitchslapped Jimmy, ripped his pants off and did the ASS TAPPING PORN
DANCE to an awesome pop. Before ANTI could rape Jimmy, W46579 hit the ring
and smashed a bottle of Ragu over ANTI's head. As W4 celebrated by raising
the roof, DOAskull came from behind with a bulldog. Skull took his GX shirt
off and handed it to ANTI. ANTI did the "Fucky Chicken" and got
the crowd doing it too. Somewhere Koko B. Ware and Terry Taylor were smiling.
Backstage Footage
Harb: "I'm sorry about..you know."
G: "And I'm sorry about ..with the whozits and whatzername and what-not."
Harb: " .... "
G: "Shake my hand."
Harb: "GXers don't shake..GXers GOTTA HUG!!!"
King of the Dong Qualifying Match: DOAskull vs. Outkast (With Muta4Ever)
Outkast was able to dominate Skull, due to the distractions of Muta. After
Outkast slammed the lovable Hawaiian and set up for a shooting star press,
BAHUMUTH came to ringside with a smile on his face. BAHU and the crowd was
quite impressed with Outkast's marked improvement. Outkast then slipped,
bounced groin-first on the top rope and fell on the steel haybales at ringside.
Improvement The Rock's ass. As BAHU walked to the back, Muta helped Outkast
up. The steel haybales must have knocked some sense out of Outkast. Outkast
referred to Muta as "IceWolf" and started kissing him. DOAskull
won by count-out,advancing into the slop-per-view tourney at King of the
Dong. Following the match, Skull hit Outkast with a lethal chair shot. A
tear fell from Muta's eye.
Muta: "Outkast!!! You called me IceWolf and kissed me!!!!"
Outkast: "What? No, I did not.....but can I?"
Muta: "...........yes."
Muta and Outkast kissed. It was beautiful. Lutair screamed that GX promotes
homosexuality and should be banned. Another guy in the crowd screamed "YOU'RE
A FAGGOT MUTA!!!!!!!" GUNN and ROMER were in the crowd fighting over
a beer.
Backstage Footage
Harb: "You remember that one where Zack and Slater fight over that
girl and they pour punch down each other's pants?"
G: "Haha, I should have done that after I slept with Ch...ehh.."
Harb: "Dude. Ixnay on the Harisma-kay."
G: "Sorry."
Womyns champ Miss T0Y vs. Charisma93 vs. Merogal13: Triple Threat Birthday
Suit Match
The lights dimmed, as all three ladies entered the ring to BellBivDevoe's
"Do Me". The crowd kept throwing mayonaiise into the ring, which
was very distracting. Who knows what that was all about. On to the match.
This was a ***** classic strip match. Lutair had a heart attack during this
baby. T0Y and Char brawled for the majority of the match, while Merogal
watched with a curious look in her eye. With 5 minutes gone, T0Y ripped
off Char's CSG
skirt to a huge pop (pun intended). Char responded by yanking T0Y's Daisy
Dukes off. Merogal sat in the corner and her fingers began to wander. T0Y
and Char tore each other's shirts off. Char and T0Y were now down to their
BRA AND PANTIES!! BRA AND PANTIES!! As Merogal began to pleasure herself,
Char reversed an Irish whip and sent T0Y into Mero's corner. T0Y then executed
the Bronco Buster on Merogal. The mayonaiise was flying at this point. As
T0Y
bounced on Mero with the Bronco Buster, T0Y popped out of her bra. The arena
now resembled a winter wonderland. T0Y got to her feet, and Char came from
behind and ripped T0Y's Underoos off. NUDE T0Y!! NEW WOMYNS CHAMPION!!!
The crowd completely marked out. Suddenly,Posse member and GX booker DaveyDog30
came to the ring to many boos.
Davey: "Miss T0Y, let me say that that you can T0Y with little Davey
anytime. In fact, for showing off those MAGNIFIQUE puppies, I think T0Y
deserves to keep that Womyn's title."
T0Y: "Woooo hooo!!! Thank you,Mr. DaveyDog!!!!!"
Davey: "Whoa, where are you going? See,I let you keep your title. Now
you're gonna do a little something for me. ON YOUR KNEES."
T0Y: "Oh you are so disgusting."
Davey: "We all know you did it for the last guy to book around here.
NOW T0Y GET ON YOUR DAMN KNEES!!!!!!!!"
To the amazement of the crowd, T0Y got on her knees.
Davey: "MAGNIFI..AAAAHH!!!!!!!"
T0Y bit Davey's large penis to a huge pop. DOAskull and DesDev then hit
the ring and sent Davey to the outside with a pair of chairshots. W46578
emerged from the back to help up Davey.
Backstage Footage
Harb: "Davey MACE me sick. He practically paralyzes Foleyite just so
he can book Sloptro again? Something needs to be done."
G: "We need to hire a GX Commissioner or something."
Harb: "TES!!! That's a GREAT idea! G, being friends is so much more
fun than being enemies. I'm so happy,I could kiss you!"
G: "Yeah..please don't."
BAHUMUTH vs. The Corpse of Rick Rude: Winner Meets GX World Champion at
King of the Dong
A drunk Jake Roberts stumbled to the ring with a picture of Michelle Rood
on his pants. Roberts mocked the "Rude hipswivel",vomited all
over Rude and fell on top of him. BAHU threw Roberts out of the ring, and
pinned Rude with a Perfectn-Plex to win the title shot at KOTD. BAHU spraypainted
"Posse" on the GX World title belt,and then brought out Eric Bischoff.
BAHU: "This is the GX World title." ::throws belt in trash can::
Bischoff: "Ok..."
Footage of Parking Lot
::Mek and Kane return to Mek's car::
Mek: "WTF. Someone keyed "NERD" on my car."
Kane: "HAHAHA...sorry but it IS funny."
"SUUUUUPPLIES!!!" was heard, as Benny Bibby and Ryan32FlavorsandThenSome
attacked Mek and Kane with mops.
World champion MrPerfectn vs. DrkIsSOP (Special Referee: Muta4Ever)
Another classic match between these two. After ten minutes of action, Perf
hit Drk with the Final Fantasy and pinned Drk. Muta made a painfully slow
count. Perf yelled at Muta, bashing his lack of objectivity. A tear fell
from Muta's eye. As Perf yelled at Muta, Drk grabbed Perf's tights and rolled
him up Bob Backlund-style. Muta made a fast count,and Perf was once again
quite irritated. BAHU,Jimmy and Davey then appeared on the GodwinnTron.
BAHU
was urinating on the GX belt,as Davey and Jimmy laughed. Perf snapped and
began pounding on Drk. Muta seperated the two, and told Perf to cool it.
Muta then saw BAHU ejaculating on the GX title on the GodwinnTron. Muta
gave Drk a Roddy Piper-style eyepoke and shoved him to the ground. Perf
pinned Drk, and Muta made a fast count.
WCWSchvnne: "PERF RETAINS THE BELT AGAINST DRK!!!! MUTA DIDN'T HELP
PERF WIN BECAUSE HE LIKES GX!! HE DID IT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING
TO DO!!!!!! MAH GOD!!! SIDEWALK SLAM!!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST SLOPTRO EVER!!!
IT'S STIIIING!!!!!!!! THROUGHT HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE!!!!!! THE MAN IS BROKEN
IN HALF!!! SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN SLOPTRO!!!!!"
Footage of Hospital
DOAskull: "This was not a Sloptro angle. Foleyite is hurt."
Nurse: "Sir, why do you keep talking to the geraniums?"
::Jerry Lawler returns to the waiting room::
DOAskull: "Well, how's Foleyite?"
Lawler: "It .. it doesn't look good. Doesn't look good at all."
[Fade to black.]