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The Ultimate World Wrestling Entertainmentİ Thread
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, Goldberg is WWE Universal champ.

The Hardys are ROH tag champs and Bully Ray is in ROH.

Alberto Del Rio, Chris Masters and (too many debuting/returning stars to count) are in TNA.

wHaT is GOnIG ON
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read this response to WWE Fastlane from a commenter on the Baseball Think Factory's wrestling thread:

"I'll watch WM, but I expect nothing at this point. My best hope is for some insane 20-minute ladder match with all of the guys who should be in matches at the top of the card but can't find a spot because they weren't popular in 1998."


And another post from the same guy:

"You've beaten Owens cheaply in a way where he's never going to get that back. Goldberg is gone after WM. It's not like he's going to show up on RAW and have a 15-minute match where Owens gets a lot of offense in.

The best case scenario here is Owens gets to fight Lesnar down the line at Summerslam or something like that, but that spot is likely being reserved for Roman to get his win back from WM 30. So they fed Strowman to Roman and Owens to Goldberg, which sets up Undertaker losing to Roman and Goldberg losing to Lesnar, and then Lesnar loses to Roman. All roads lead to Roman, who essentially disposes of 3 of the top 4 part-timers (after having beaten the 4th one at WM last year). And despite it all, fans are still going to hate him."
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jerry: They fed Strowman to Roman?

George: They FED STROWMAN TO ROMAN!

Jerry: (voice gets higher) YA CAN'T FEED STROWMAN TO ROMAN!

George: Well, they FED STROWMAN TO ROMAN and George is NOT happy about it!

Elaine: Ya know.... one of these days, you're gonna have a heart attack over this stupid stuff.

(George sighs.)
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 8:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dave Mensa Needs a New Auto Spell Check, Vol. XXVIII:

"HHH said that he used to tell the world that Rollins was the fugue, but now he's the past."


But somehow, I feel like buying Seth Fuguin' Rollins' new T-shirt:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Say what you will about the lackluster "I Love the 90s" booking for next month's Wrestlemania, WWE still knows how to do a good promo video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm4Si1KUKuc

But the WWE Class of 2017 just rocketed up from meager to subpar! Let me holla something at you, playa, I just can't wait to hear Hall of Famer Teddy Long holla holla, playa. Playa holla.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
Dave Mensa Needs a New Auto Spell Check, Vol. XXVIII:

"HHH said that he used to tell the world that Rollins was the fugue, but now he's the past."


Even spell check can't save Dave Metzger here:

"Al Snow ripped Droz' dress off to win in 1:59, leaving him in his panties and panty hoes." [7/99]
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

KaneRobot wrote:
"Al Snow ripped Droz' dress off to win in 1:59, leaving him in his panties and panty hoes." [7/99]



Did the above match actually happen? Because I can't find any reference to this on the five-star match database.
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
KaneRobot wrote:
"Al Snow ripped Droz' dress off to win in 1:59, leaving him in his panties and panty hoes." [7/99]


Did the above match actually happen? Because I can't find any reference to this on the five-star match database.


"Al Snow ripped Droz' dress off" is a hell of a tongue-twister.
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some guy online tries to explain the last-minute, random, impromptu, who-gives-a-shit Roman Reigns/Undertaker staredown and match:
Quote:
Roman is "The Big Dog" and he is consistently reminding people that "this is his yard." Herein lies the heart of the feud.

In the build up toward the Royal Rumble, Taker stated that he had dug 29 holes for 29 souls, then snarled like a sick mongoose.

But where did Taker dig those 29 holes? He dug those 29 holes in Roman's yard, thus lowering Roman's property value in the process.

So Roman, instead of seeking legal advice from the incomparable David Otunga, has decided to settle this dispute at Wrestlemania.

This is your classic Homeowners Association vs homeowner tale.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to think WWE's in-ring cameramen got up close to the performers:



But that was before I saw this training video with Xavier Woods, Paige and Brad Maddox:

https://www.xvideos.com/video26956421/paige_riding_xavier_woods_leaked_sextape

The video is totally safe for work. If there are any small children nearby, I would urge you to invite them to hop up onto your lap, so that you can all enjoy the video together. It's about friends working together for a common goal.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If There's One Thing That Dave Meffsner Will Not Tolerate, It Is Substandard Copy-Editing, Vol. XLIII:
Quote:
Alberto Del Rio, writing after the Paige sex video was leaked:
'I know I was you trying to destroy us...destroy my baby...she's better stronger than all you pieces of...We are getting married Wednesday... Have a nice And go and F yourself hatters.'
Dave M:
Hatters meaning haters in this context, unless he's paranoid about people wearing hats."

Dave Meltzer: Tirelessly crusading for, grammatical perfection since 1983 when writing from his started on the Observer began.

Also, let's give credit to Alberto Del Rio for correctly spelling "Wednesday," the hardest word in that mess.

Also, a person wearing a hat is not a hatter; a person who makes hats is a hatter.
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hope they throw Alberto's hatless butt in jail.
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Harb



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, "Pain and/or Destruction" IS his middle name.

https://chicago.craigslist.org/nch/com/6081724682.html
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Harb wrote:
Well, "Pain and/or Destruction" IS his middle name.

https://chicago.craigslist.org/nch/com/6081724682.html


This is fantastic.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Things can get pretty rough and rugged inside the Craigslist squared circle.

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/crp/5402624729.html
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smackdown actually might be really good this year. Zayn-Nakamura II, Owens-Nakamura, Rusev-Nakamura, Styles-Nakamura in WWE, a Big E singles push now that people care about him - all these things seem inevitable.

I'm assuming Mojo Rawley and Randy Orton will probably reign as champions for the rest of the year just to spite me.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXTOH9jhbOg&t=21s

I've watched this several times now. It's gotta be the most cathartic wrestling segment since that Raw where they had a big angle with Cena/Orton and it led to Punk and Bryan laying HHH and HBK out.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 2:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The funny part is the background cheering and "Thank you Strowman" chanting.

The "brutally wronged babyface seeks revenge" formula... that might not play out according to plan.

Oh well, WWE. You'll still get Roman Reigns to where you want him. Like the old saying goes, if at thirty-eighth you don't succeed, try, try again.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You rubes just don't understand business. What's most important is that Reigns is cheered on the most trivial, least value-adding component of the company: U.S. house shows. That's what REALLY matters.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A week later, Monday Night Rrrrrraw opened with a special WWE video package recounting the Strowman beatdown. The edit used all of the sounds of the fight, but every bit of the crowd noise cheering Strowman on was gone. I was shocked.

Then they brought Strowman out in front of the live crowd to brag about what he'd done. And now some WWE sound technician has his next assignment.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's easy to forget that Ted DiBiase Jr. ever wrestled.

It's even easier to forget that there were once wrestling fans who seriously suggested that he be the one to end the Undertaker's Streak.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 12:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't you dare diss the Thousand Nickel Man.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYy_JJNbTBU

I actually kinda feel bad for him in a way. He was a solid guy. He was a Miz without the promo ability or ability to get over as a heel. A less-good Cody Rhodes. I'd probably take him over Jinder Mahal. But since he left the business fairly quickly (as did BOTH of his brothers), it kinda seems as if the DiBiase kids' hearts weren't really into it all the way.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WWE loves to think up topical if irrelevant pop culture shoutouts, and then shoehorn them into the script and make its announcers and wrestlers say them in a "natural," "conversational" fashion.

Sometimes it flows better than others. Last week, Charlotte said "I am fastly getting furious."
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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Raw fell to yet another non-football season and non-holiday record modern low last night with 2.68 million viewers for the show in London.

The audience dropped six percent over the previous low mark set last week of 2.86 million viewers.

The last time Raw numbers were at this point outside of football season was 1997, when it went head-to-head with Nitro.


Everything's fine. Stay the course. Keep pushing Roman Reigns and The Miz as main event acts.
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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From the Observer:
Quote:
They are doing a gimmick where Breeze & Fandango are now The Fashion Police. They work in a police station... The skit was naming all these crimes the Usos are guilty of, with the best line being they were guilty of Jaywalking and Jimmywalking.


I'd hate to hear the third-best line.
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

::Norm Macdonald voice::

Hey uh, ya know what'd be a good uh, sign to take to a WWE show there?

I tell ya, ya get yourself one of those posterboards and ya slap a picture of Roman Reigns on it.

Then ya write on there:

Roman Reigns

BOX OFFICE POISON.
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would explode with joy to see WWE repackage Rusev as a suicidally depressed Russian moth.
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 7:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will gladly take Rusev repackaged or unrepackaged as any gimmick, returning and destroying Randy Orton for the title and sending Jinder Mahal back to the dark matches before Main Event is taped.
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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 7:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wasn't Rusev supposed to confront Shane this week? Did they actually have a meeting and decide nobody wants to see Shane in another feud, and subsequently did what's best for the show?

Nah, probably just saving it for next week.
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PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2017 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Regarding Backlash............................



WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?
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PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 12:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know very well what IS HAPPENING. If WWE thought they could make some new money by expanding into the pygmy tribelands of Africa, they'd sign back Hornswoggle and give him a Universal heavyweight title run. If janitors had been identified as an underexploited demographic 15 years ago, they'd have made Perry Saturn's Moppy the champion.
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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really hate the "Hey, here's an Indian guy for you, India" logic that they seem to be using to defend the Jinder Mahal push. It feels really insulting. I was and am a huge fan of The British Bulldogs and Steve/William Regal. Sure, they were from the same country as me. That was a bonus. But they were also really, really fucking good wrestlers and sometimes the highlight of the shows. The UK indie scene in the last 5 years has been interesting and its put a spotlight on the UK because you've got innovative young guys like Will Ospreay and Zack Sabre Jr. (whose stock has actually plummeted after a WWE run) or just great wrestlers like Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne. WWE's trying to leech off of it now and in private, they're probably thinking "Why are the English fans so into these guys? Wouldn't they cheer more if they were dressed like Dr. Who, The Beatles and Harry Potter?"

TNA had an Indian sister promotion a few years ago and it was really fun to watch. The only homegrown Indian guy from that experiment that is still wrestling is Mahabali Shera. He's pretty terrible and people complain about his push, despite the fact that he's getting about the same level of push that Adam Bomb got. TNA has some upcoming shows booked in India too. Once again, WWE sees another promotion making inroads into a market they haven't really cracked and they try to cut them off the pass every time.
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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2017 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Randy Orton is such a fan of this Jinder Mahal push that he's decided not to care if he kills one of Jinder's stablemates during the match.



Mahal/Orton was not nearly as boring or as bad I expected it to be. So it was pretty bad and boring. I've never liked Orton. But remember when Christian and Mark Henry somehow got great matches out of this guy towards the end of their careers??

Mahal has been under WWE contract for 7 years and according to Wikipedia he debuted in *1994*. So why he still appears so green is really a question for the ages. He wasn't that terrible in the match, although he sold a few of Orton's moves oddly. And after he took the RKO, one of the most protected moves in recent years, Jinder just rolled over and went onto the next spot. The crowd heat was there, although it did feel like a lot of that heat was just "We're sick of Orton, sure, we'll chant for Jinder Mahal, whatever" or "LOL JINDER MAHAL, HAHAHA AND HE WON WTF".

MAHALMANIA IS HERE. Say your prayers and eat your vitamins that mysteriously cause acne all over your back.
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PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Someone should take the Miz aside and tell him that the fans aren't shutting their mouths when the Miz's hand goes up. He needs to develop a different method for quieting the crowd.

Also, Roman Reigns shouldn't "cock" his fist before throwing a punch because it wastes time, and doesn't make the punch any stronger.
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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
Randy Orton is such a fan of this Jinder Mahal push that he's decided not to care if he kills one of Jinder's stablemates during the match.




You say that because the GIF is deceptively edited. FAKE NEWS. LAMESTREAM STREAMING.

Whereas at THIS link, you will find the UNEDITED visual evidence proving that Randy Orton is remorseful and tender:

http://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2017/5/21/15673630/gif-randy-orton-singh-brothers-table-spot

That's why *I* only believe the political news I read at www.cagesideseats.com

Best reader comment on Orton's WTFRKO:
"Contrast this with him gingerly moving JBL's hat earlier in the match."
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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:

Best reader comment on Orton's WTFRKO:
"Contrast this with him gingerly moving JBL's hat earlier in the match."


"Be careful with the cowboy hat, but toss that Indian guy like a stuffed animal" sounds like a Vince order.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



WRESTLING!
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.givemesport.com/1067440-wwe-trying-to-remove-raw-segment-from-history?autoplay=on&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Organic-Social&utm_campaign=Tribute-Pages-laika-III-1sted
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also, I don't think Jinder Mahal is taking steroids because Vince has them all.

http://givemesport.azureedge.net/images/17/06/01/8bd06e2dba43c127b8c404634e18f943/690.jpg
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