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The Ultimate World Wrestling Entertainment© Thread
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 7:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

WWE has figured out the best way to address concerns over this whole "Saudi Arabian blood money" thing.

https://www.wwe.com/article/wwe-crown-jewel-riyadh-saudi-arabia-november-2018
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
WWE has figured out the best way to address concerns over this whole "Saudi Arabian blood money" thing.

https://www.wwe.com/article/wwe-crown-jewel-riyadh-saudi-arabia-november-2018


https://youtu.be/DBqrlrnbw84?t=2m44s
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meltzer is basically saying that they don't even have any top matches for WrestleMania penciled in yet.

Ahh well. Maybe they can have the Saudi prince help them throw money at Flair vs. HBK II: Retirement Boogaloo.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
Ahh well. Maybe they can have the Saudi prince help them throw money at Flair vs. HBK II: Retirement Boogaloo.


WWE Math Riddle: When Jamal Khashoggi entered the Saudi consulate, he was in one piece. How many pieces was Khashoggi in when he left the Saudi consulate?


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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, that's one way to ease up on the Roman Reigns uber-push.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a proud day for Wikipedia editor I Am Awesome 067196, who beat fellow Wikipedia user Kingslayer127 by one minute in the race to be the first to update the WWE Universal Championship wikipage to reflect Roman Reigns' illness. I am so happy that neither of those two screen names are made up.

I Am Awesome 067196 was also one minute speedier than Colton Meltzer, who had the unmatched thrill of being the first to edit the page on Roman Reigns.

Finally, a hearty congratulations to tonight's WWE Raw audience. They did a great job sending off a man with leukemia with roughly 6% of the volume, intensity and duration that the Seattle crowd showed when they booed Elias for making fun of the SuperSonics leaving town.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Triple H's mic segment began with this sentence: "A lot of big words being thrown around lately, Shawn, one of them being 'fear.""

"Fear" is not a big word.

Shortly afterward, Triple H pointed out that both "DX" and "NXT" have an X in them. Which is why they're the best and are going to beat Undertaker and Kane. The connection is so obvious, there's no need to belabor it.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Psychic: In 24 hours, the two WWE stars you will respect and root for the most will be Roman Reigns and John Cena.

Me: Hahaha, who are you, Vince McMahon? Nice try.

::John Cena has refused to go to Saudi Arabia and Roman Reigns has revealed that he is a cancer survivor and has had a recurrence of leukemia::

Me: oh my god
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Harb



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 9:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting article from The Onion.

Wait, it's not?

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/tennis/wwe-is-targeting-serena-williams-as-it-continues-to-revamp-its-womens-division-with-big-name-signings/ar-BBP4tnv?
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GX predicted a WWE tennis-playing superstar years ago, BY THE FAULT.

In the WWE Network Mixed Match Challenge, will her male partner be Clay (Brodus) or Grass (Rob Van Dam)?

Her manager should be called Brother 15-Love.
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In related news, I'm targeting Ryan Gosling to play me in "GX: The Movie".
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's being reported that Hulk Hogan will be the Guest Host of Crown Jewel.

To maximize as much bad PR as possible, the World Cup tournament has also been renamed to the "Chris Benoit Memorial Tournament".
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Harb



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
In related news, I'm targeting Ryan Gosling to play me in "GX: The Movie".


Who plays everyone else?

Des: Clint Howard or Paul Giamatti?

Mr. Perfect: Johnny Depp?

KaneRobot: Batista?

Foleyite: Ryan Gosling? (I vote Hugh Grant)

Mek: Squints from the Sandlot?

G Incognito: Chris Hemsworth?


Y'all can change your own casting and also suggest who should play me, though, I will say, this very well could be a great comeback vehicle for Kevin Spacey.
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Harb



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 9:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
It's being reported that Hulk Hogan will be the Guest Host of Crown Jewel.

To maximize as much bad PR as possible, the World Cup tournament has also been renamed to the "Chris Benoit Memorial Tournament".


Before Dick Slater died (pisses on Dick Slater), the main event was tapped to be him v. Buck Zumhofe, which no doubt would have been a classic.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2018 4:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wasn't terribly enthused about the HHH/Michaels vs. Undertaker/Kane main event in S--d- A--bia. But I have to admit it was pretty decent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfcZnShOA3s&t=0m33s
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Harb



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
I wasn't terribly enthused about the HHH/Michaels vs. Undertaker/Kane main event in S--d- A--bia. But I have to admit it was pretty decent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfcZnShOA3s&t=0m33s


I'm supposed to be working and that legit made me "lol". If people see me smiling at work they'll know something's up. THANKS DES.
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
@allan_cheapshot
Finn Balor is the same age as Hulk Hogan was when he lost to the Ultimate Warrior in 1990.

Samoa Joe is the same age as Hulk Hogan was when he "retired" in 1992 to go make Mr. Nanny.

AJ Styles is the same age as Hulk Hogan when he joined WCW in 1994.

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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hulk Hogan was born 3 or 4 weeks after Elvis Presley made his first recordings.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
Hulk Hogan was born 3 or 4 weeks after Elvis Presley made his first recordings.


Proof that the Hulkster helped him write some of his biggest hits, brother.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elvis did karate training, he did gospel music, and he sure loved to gobble his "vitamins."
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 11:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll never forget when Triple-H climbed in and screwed Elvis' brains out.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I'm not here to placate for your sympathy!" -- Ronda Rousey

This misuse of the English language just bestows me, I cannot tell you.
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Harb



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2018 8:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
"I'm not here to placate for your sympathy!" -- Ronda Rousey

This misuse of the English language just bestows me, I cannot tell you.


She's pretty good in the ring, for as quick as they put her on the main roster. The mic/personality stuff needs A LOT of work, obviously.
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 1:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Thank God I Ain't Too Cool For the" Dave Meltz:
Quote:
While Vince McMahon has been in a shaking up plans mood, Lesnar is right now scheduled to face Seth Rollins at WrestleMania.


Well, I guess it's the best of the realistic available options.

Maybe if someone offers enough money, we can finally get that Shawn Michaels/Tito Santana rematch.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jonah Rock is reportedly joining Trevor Lee on the road to NXT.

Honestly, at this point, they should just call the TakeOver events "WWE Presents PWG's Battle of (Whatever City)".
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dame Meltcheese Must Be Listening to 70s Classic Rock Lately, Vol. VIII:
Quote:
Ziggler did a promo. He said he's not the good guy. He's not the bad guy. There's only you and me and we just disagree.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 2:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
Dame Meltcheese Must Be Listening to 70s Classic Rock Lately, Vol. VIII:
Quote:
Ziggler did a promo. He said he's not the good guy. He's not the bad guy. There's only you and me and we just disagree.


Meltzer: "Ya know, New Japan is making significant inroads in the U.S., ROH is doing pretty well and now you've got All Elite Wrestling. But the thing with Vince is, he's still goin' with the same guys, ya know? Cena, Lesnar, ya know. Guys from somewhere back in his long ago. The sentimental fool don't see. He's trying hard to recreate what has yet to be created. And Stephanie, she musters a smile for his nostalgic tales but ya know, if Vince thinks he has no competition, ya know, that's what a fool believes."
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Listening to a podcast about WrestleMania in 2011. I forgot how good that Miz video package was, with Nas' "Hate Me Now". I disagree with the podcast hosts that The Miz looked like a boss, by bursting through balloons that say "Awesome!". That was like a kids' tv show entrance, not the entrance for a bad guy wrestling champion and it immediately killed the moment to me.

The Miz still sucks and I wish it was used for a better performer, but that video really was a good piece of business. One of the best things they did in that weird pre-Pipebomb Era of WWE.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/49946727_1096527860527466_1575761241056477184_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=fa4631d5c378db25f43cd328bf8d40a0&oe=5C8CBE51
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HEY VERN. LOYALTY. RESPECT. Know what I mean?
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where's the beef?


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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what else is new?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The men's Royal Rumble match will be called by Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jerry Lawler, and JBL.


How do I access the Bobby Heenan/Gorilla Monsoon stiched-together commentary, or the Spanish announce team, or anyone else for the 2019 Royal Rumble?
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Ghost of Gorilla Monsoon: "Coming to you from the Gorilla Position, which is stiff and facedown on the carpet, welcome to WWF Royal Rumble!"

The Ghost of Bobby Heenan: "I'm ready for some jaw-dropping action! Jaw-dropping, get it, Gorilla? I'm still ravaged by disease!"

The Ghost of Lord Alfred Hayes: "Promotional consideration paid for by the following!"

The Ghost of Bobby Heenan: "Brexit your dead ass out of here, Hayes. Nobody asked for you."

The Ghost of the Spanish Announcers' Table: "Dios mío, por favor dile a mis pequeñas bandejas de bocadillos que los amé!"
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vince: "Ya know what we could do with Jarrett?"

HHH: "What's that?"

Vince: "We could do a fun, nostalgic little thing. Like, when we had Don Muraco show up and leave The Rock laying in '98, because he was the original "Rock"."

HHH: "Uh, we never did that."

Vince: "Oh, who the fuck cares. It pleases the fans."

HHH: "I don't think Jeff Jarrett is gonna pop our fans that much. The ratings are not exactly trending upward here either."

Vince: "Yeah, but it makes the boys in the back laugh."

HHH: "Not really. Like, a half-dozen guys wanna leave. I think 2 or 3 other guys have vented on podcasts about being frustrated here, as well. I think they might go to Cody's promotion or something."

Vince: "ELIAS GETS LAID OUT BY JEFF JARRETT GOD DAMMIT AND THAT'S THE SEGMENT. NOW HAND ME MY FUCKING WBF MAGAZINE SO I CAN GO TAKE A SHIT."

HHH: "Le sigh."
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Mr Perfect
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2019 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe we should go easy on Jeff. I mean, he hasn't wrestled in over 20 years.
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2019 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never been that high on Kofi Kingston, but that hour-long performance in the gauntlet match was pretty great. Also, it feels like he's been around forever but he's only 37? Hell, give him a brief World title run. They've handed them to less deserving people.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Randomly having a few top NXT guys show up in what seems to be non-canon storylines kinda felt like the ECW invasion in February 1997. They're supposed to be on the ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA, but there just isn't much buzz for the company, so they're borrowing some buzz from a smaller brand and just kinda flailing. It was cool to see them I guess, but they didn't get grand debuts. They got RAW times for their matches, not 20 minute showcases or anything crazy. At least have Ricochet's cool entrance play outta nowhere or something, instead of having Triple H just say "Later tonight you'll see these guys" as if he's Vince announcing the Royal Rumble participants.

Just seems like kind of an aimless mess of a promotion right now.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bryan Albarevvs Fills In, While Dave Menstrual Recovers From His Catastrophic Typing Finger Bicycle Explosion And Has To Farm Out Emergency Newsletter Copy To The Observer Troops, Volume... well, I.

Quote:
Cole says it was Sasha and Bayley's lifetime goal to win the WWE Women's Tag Title. All their lives their goal has been to win nonexistent titles.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats to WWE for breaking TNA/Impact's 11 year streak and winning the Observer's Worst Promotion of the Year award for 2018.
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