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The Ultimate World Wrestling Entertainment© Thread
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2018 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The main problem with "Lashley's Sisters" is they didn't give it enough time to develop. I think it really could have turned a comedy corner with just another 40 or 50 minutes.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2018 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dave Meffzner's Jokes Stand the Test Of Time Even When They're a Month and a Half Old Because I'm Very Far Behind on My Reading, Part VI:
Quote:
Cena came out and did a long promo about how he still hasn't gotten an answer from Undertaker. He said he did everything he could. He said he's just going to WrestleMania as a fan. Those secondary ticket brokers for Mania can use the help.

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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
WON:
WWE has also gotten aggressive regarding trying to sign up indie talent with MLW as the target since they just got television. That will be interesting because the key guys MLW is relying on have signed contracts

There were reports that WWE approached several wrestlers under contract to MLW. According to legal papers sent, the talent advised MLW of the offers and told WWE they were signed, but WWE told the wrestlers they should still come to a tryout and be around the system. In the past, WWE would back off when approaching talent under contract to a degree due to what happened in the past with ROH. They’ll still get word indirectly to tell people not to renew their deals like they did with ROH (and there were guys in ROH based on promises made and such while under contract that one would think was tampering, and that’s what led to the legal situation last year where WWE had to pull all offers from ROH talent and waited months after their contracts expired before approaching them again, although in the end the guys like Kyle O’Reilly, Adam Cole and Bobby Fish all came. The MLW deals signed with its key talent were for multiple years.


WWE has also signed up 12 of the 20 guys that were supposed to be on ITV's World of Sport for their "UK division".

But WWE totally isn't trying to kill other promotions. They're just trying to sign "great talents".
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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2018 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On a Show Where Bray Wyatt Was Thrown Into the Lake of Reincarnation, Braun Strowman Lifts Big Rig Trucks, and Wrestlers Chasing After Slower Wrestlers Are Obliged to Slow Down, Dave Mmmmeltzler Pleads for More Basic Realism, Please, Part XIX:
Quote:
Strowman said they were giving up the belts because Nicholas has a scheduling conflict, being he's in fourth grade. ...Sheamus & Cesaro were with Angle. They expected Angle to give them their belts back. Angle said that they would have to earn them, and said they would be put in a title match in Saudi Arabia against the winner of a four-team tournament with the semifinals on this show and the finals next week. Good for Angle to come up with all of this literally minutes after finding out the tag team titles are being vacated.

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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2018 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Does anyone smile and wave at the crowd better than Ronda Rousey? She's a natural at everything, I suppose.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2018 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ronda Rousey has been working for months with her acting coach.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If Meltzer's Reporting is Word-for-Word Verbatim, Jerry Lawler Had Better Get a Second Opinion:
Quote:
After his recent stroke, [Lawler] noted on his podcast that he has brain damage in a number of cells in his brain. He said he's felling no ill effects whatsoever and the doctor told him he was phone.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
If Meltzer's Reporting is Word-for-Word Verbatim, Jerry Lawler Had Better Get a Second Opinion:
Quote:
After his recent stroke, [Lawler] noted on his podcast that he has brain damage in a number of cells in his brain. He said he's felling no ill effects whatsoever and the doctor told him he was phone.


I want to give Meltzer credit, but I think that it's just an amazing inadvertent joke.
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
It's worth noting that WWE chose to submit specialty programming for Emmy consideration as opposed to any standard episode of flagship shows Raw or SmackDown Live. Given its uplifting story and the critic-friendly format of documentary programming, Empowered seems to have the best chance of any WWE submission for Emmy consideration.


Well, Raw and Smackdown are garbage dumps.

Also, WWE does not allow its performers or writers to be in the Screen Actors Guild or the Writers Guild, so they're probably not nominating your carny show of "independent contractors" for a damn thing.
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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are a few Emmy categories where WWE is, unlike Sin Cara, competitive:

Outstanding Limited Acting

Outstanding Supporting Actors as Actresses in a Sami Zayn Segment That Felt Like a Full Series

Outstanding Out Standing in a Concrete Hallway
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 9:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They have the Outstanding Lucha Thing category locked up.
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Brock Lesnar’s long list of WWE accomplishments has now grown by one: The Beast Incarnate has officially notched the longest World Championship reign of the modern era.

Lesnar’s ongoing run as Universal Champion surpassed the previous marker, CM Punk’s 434-day stint as WWE Champion that stretched between 2011 and 2013.


Ah, WWE. So petty. So predictable.
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lesnar's 435 days and I'm guessing 8 matches must be another kind of record.

I'd hate to be the person who has to tell CM Punk, once his ears start working again.




In all fairness to WWE, if they'd ended Lesnar's run early before he caught CM Punk, it would have been to give a big F.U. to the fans booing Roman Reigns' coronation by the booking committee.

So at best, it was always a matter of which flavor of pettiness annoys you the least.
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've got a friend who watches every show and then shoots out an email reaction afterwards. Here's some of what he had to say about last night's Money in the Bank:

Quote:
On his NXT conference call with reporters, HHH contradicted himself. He said he had no problem putting wrestlers like Ricochet (15 years of international experience( on the same card with Lars Anderson (2+ years, all in NXT). If it's all the same thing, he explained, it's "more of the same" and watching Ricochet will help workers like Anderson "up their competitive game."

What he did not address was that NXT does this with tight, five-match Takedown events less than six times a year. Meanwhile, they have expanded the length of their monthly "big" shows and combined the brands on those events, because it allows them to tell Wall Street analysts that subscribers are watching "more content." Essentially, WWE is holding its hardcore fans hostage and putting on repetitive "more of the same" matches on their main roster.

Money in the Bank was such a card. There was an hour of lackluster matches (including a dead first 45 minutes). They also wasted time polishing a few turds, in performers who just can't cut it as impact players. It's inconceivable that they squandered a full YEAR of Shinsuke Nakamura's career in NXT yet made Jinder Mahal the Smackdown champion for seven months. It's unbelievable that Carmella gets to beat both Charlotte Flair AND Asuka - ultimately deadening and flattening out Asuka in the same manner the booking totally killed Bayley dead, when she had potential to be one of the biggest stars on both brands. The fact that James Ellsworth is back as Carmella's second totally exposes that they know she's not good enough or over enough to beat "top stars" by herself.

Some wrestlers shine no matter what - Daniel Bryan exceeds expectations although it's easy to imagine the Miz feud has to allow Miz a pinfall since he's the one with the new TV show to promote. And Seth Rollins should be champion simply through a tournament as a result of the "30 day" rule of defending the title, which hasn't been mentioned since Lesnar's last title defense....in April.

...

Daniel Bryan sub. Big Cass **
Somebody must have talked sense into McMahon that there's no main event money in Cass, who has regressed since coming back from his injury. Would not be surprised to have this feud culminate in a gimmick match where Enzo returns to cost Bryan the match and at least heat up the tag team division.

...

I-C Title
Seth Rollins p. Elias **3/4
Elias is limited but working with Rollins helps him get skills. Rollins is legit one of the most over performers on the brand. He won reversing a rollup and held the tights, so THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE.

...

Roman Reigns p. Jinder Mahal **3/4
As good as Reigns has gotten, that's how awful Jinder is. They put Sunil Singh in a wheelchair then had him attack Reigns when the ref's back was turned - a spot that could have been used as a main event finish was wasted as a transitional spot. This WWE crowd has not seen a "cripple rises from the dead" moment in a decade and it could have been milked for weeks, while they waited for Singh to "recover." This current booking group was either hired b/c management are marks for "hollywood talent," or they simply love to outsmart the crowd and don't think past that night's event.

Smackdown Women's Title
Carmella p. Asuka *1/2
You read that right. Carmella ran and danced for most of the match. Her butt tape was also not working, although she's well aware of the hard camera and pulled the thong from her ass crack 12-13 times without turning her back to the camera. Finish had an Asuka dress-alike come out and Asuka sold being "shocked" FOREVER. I MEAN FOREVER. He unmasked as James Ellsworth, and Carmella hit the kick for a rollup.

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HelloDes



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ALERT ALERT ALERT

I pray this post reaches you all in time. Tune to Raw RIGHT NOW if you want to see Mojo Rawley face No Way Jose.
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Forget it.
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with most of your friend's assessment, but I will bet against Enzo Amore returning to WWE anytime soon.

There's nothing wrong with using experienced workers to help green rookies learn how to work and using proven, popular talent to get over new stars. But WWE seems insistent on flattening out talents and pushing people way beyond their talent (or popularity) level just to "create" their own stars and prove some kind of nonsensical point to their fanbase and the business. And "well they're a little green, give them a break, they're getting there" should stop being an excuse after a few years. Carmella's been working as a pro wrestler for 5 years now. Big Cass has been wrestling for a decade. He's not green; he just sucks. Jinder Mahal has been wrestling for 16 years. These people are not magically gonna become Shawn Michaels by having a few matches with a Daniel Bryan or an Asuka.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
I agree with most of your friend's assessment, but I will bet against Enzo Amore returning to WWE anytime soon.



You win your bet! You're rich now!

https://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2018/6/19/17480040/wwe-releases-big-cass

Now, who becomes the realest guy in the room? What if it's Apollo Crews?
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WWE is reaching a working agreement with Pro Wrestling NOAH. First time they've worked with a Japanese promotion since the weird relationship that led to Tenryu & Kitao beating Demolition at WrestleMania 7 and John Tenta going to Japan and having Kitao try to shootfight him?
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2018 2:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lest we forget, yesterday (Thursday) was the 20th anniversary of the Mick Foley/Undertaker Hell in a Cell match. Each of us must celebrate the occasion in his or her own way. I brushed my nostril with Crest toothpaste.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Long After WWE Has Clearly Stopped Giving a Shit, Dave Mepfzter Still Pays Attention to Narrative Coherence, Vol. CCXXXII:
Quote:
The second the match was over, Bayley attacked Banks and started beating her down. ...Cole said, "You felt like this night was going to come at some point. At some point you felt the explosion was going to happen." 15 seconds later, Cole says, "I never expected this out of her."

...

It's weird how matches are announced and then some guys have no power and have to do matches with no notice and other guys can just walk out of announced matches.

...

Angle told Bayley that she's going to need counseling. Now think of all the times people have turned on partners and all the actions both faces and heels have done, but a routine heel turn after something like a a six month build warrants counseling.

...

Strowman was there and had the keys and he pointed at what was supposed to be Owens' car. It was turned over and on fire. So Bayley needs counseling for attacking Banks while Strowman destroys a car and all is cool.



Long After WWE Has Become Addicted to the Habit of Burning Big Piles of Money and Dancing Around the Flames, Dave Mentzerr Still Cares, Vol. CLVIII:
Quote:
Imagine how wrestling would have changed if after Zybysko turned on Bruno, or Orndorff turned on Hogan, instead of booking matches at arenas they just went to counseling and did comedy sketches.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to recap what was happened since arguably the most popular wrestler of the last 15 years was forced to retire due to injuries and was cleared to be 100% cleared for action in a series of events you couldn't have scripted better:

-Daniel Bryan tagged with Shane McMahon in his return match.

-Bryan's first feud was with Big Cass.

-Bryan then reformed "Team Hell No" with mayoral candidate/man wearing fruit roll-up face attached to a cheap wig, Kane.

-Team Hell No faces The Bludgeon Brothers for the SmackDown tag team titles.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2018 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roman Reigns just walked through a hallway. He was met by Bobby Lashley. Reigns said he was going to his ring. Lashley said he was going to tear Reigns apart. Then Reigns resumed walking. Or as Michael Cole described it:

"EMOTIONS ARE AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH!"
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only thing I know about Raw or Smackdown this week is what Des posted. Obviously, it wasn't enough to make me seek out the rest. I think this is it guys.

How will you best remember Harb's WWE fandom?

a. "Test, tell that to Owen Hart."

b. a fat boys

c. All of the above

d. None of the above

e. GHARB66 OR 88 OR WHATEVER
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

f. some of the above

But then they got the F out.

So, I guess it's b BE THE FAULT.
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have also stopped watching regularly. I DVR every week but usually 3 weeks out of the month I just wind up deleting it. The other time I just fast forward to things I heard were ok.

I have the network a few months out of the year so I'll watch whatever NXT special is on when possible. That's about it.

However, after hearing about how the ultimate goal right now is to have Roman Reigns face Brock Lesnar in a highly-anticipated showdown for the Universal Championship, I feel like Brock's current absence will make people cheer for Roman (as this exact same approach worked brilliantly the previous times they tried it). I was so pumped up about the upcoming coronation for Roman that I hacked Kevin Dunn's email see about future plans, and found out that I may have to wait a little longer:

Quote:
April 2033: Joelle Reigns is scheduled to take on Brock Lesnar, who has held the title now for 16 years and recently put her father Roman into a body cast after running him over (to a thunderous response). The thought process here is they'll get people to cheer Roman by proxy since no one will want to see Brock Lesnar beat up a girl.

Lesnar retains after hitting 26 F5s on Joelle. After the match, Roman challenged Brock to a match at SummerSlam. The thought process here is the crowd will cheer Roman because he's avenging his daughter.

Lesnar retains after hitting 158 F5s on Roman. He is immediately granted a rematch for The Greatest SummerSlam XII a few days later. The thought process here is the fans on Mars are more likely to cheer Roman because Mars is the *Roman* god of war.

Lesnar retains after hitting 2,398 F5s on Roman. Word now is he is leaving to participate in Geriatric UFC for 6 months, after which time he'll return for a hotly-anticipated rematch with Roman.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also posted from the year 2033, via the VGMuseum cortical implant:
Quote:
You forgot to mention that during his dominant 16-year championship reign, Brock Lesnar's unbeaten streak is an astonishing 27-0.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You guys aren't missing much. The main roster shows (RAW especially) have been pretty dire lately. I can honestly say that there are (at least) 4 weekly wrestling shows better than RAW & Smackdown in 2018.

(5 if "Being the Elite" counts as a "wrestling show".)

6, if you count GLOW.

7 if you count The Wire, which would be weird since it has nothing to do with wrestling and it has been off the air for several years. CM Punk once quoted The Wire in a promo, though.
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah I DVR Raw and Smackdown every week and it fast-forward through them both, taking about a half-hour to watch each as I stop to watch what may look interesting, or to let my wife ogle Finn Balor. I probably delete one show a month even trying to keep up with that grueling schedule, they're just so boring.

I do watch all the PPVs still and have been a Network subscriber since day 1, though.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My fellow Real Americans, our long national nightmare is over.

https://www.wwe.com/article/hulk-hogan-reinstated-into-wwe-hall-of-fame
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They've already filmed his first segment.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm still dying to re-see Hogan's WWF promo from the first half of the 90s in which he really and truly said, "The big Hulkster in the sky gave His life on the cross so the red and yellow of Hulkamania could live forever."

Not to be confused with this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9JfhANM9B0
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I did think that it was not good."
-- Dave Meltzer, on WWE Extreme Rules 2018.

Nailed it, Dave.
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2018 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Check the Irish Curse, FELLLLLAAAA.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 10:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not the size that's making Cena grimace. It's the red pubic mohawk.
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
It's not the size that's making Cena grimace. It's the red pubic mohawk.


Didn't "Red Pubic Mohawk" used to open for "The Cure"?
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know. But I do know this. Bob Backlund was friggin' strong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo10OdoyBgQ&t=29m0s
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2018 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dave Mozzsnurl Knows That There's a Crucial Reason Why Things Are the Way They Are, and That's Because They Are That Way, Vol. CXX:
Quote:
It makes no sense that the Young Bucks' merchandise and New Japan merchandise so greatly outsells WWE at the Hot Topic mall stores, because it makes no sense for that to be the case.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've DVRed RAW for the last 2 weeks and deleted them both without even watching them. I just looked up recaps and saw that nothing worth watching happened.

But yeah, why the Young Bucks are outselling WWE T-shirts at Hot Topic, who's to say? Kids everywhere want to wear Charlotte & Roman Reigns T-shirts, obviously.
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2018 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 20 minute Roman Reigns-Baron Corbin match?

Looks like The Streak will continue for at least another week.
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