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The Ultimate World Wrestling Entertainment Thread
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shane McMahon, for all his faults, does do a pretty good impression of the famous grape-stomping lady.
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If John Cena sprains his right index finger, he will truly have no Road To WrestleMania.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A four-knuckle shuffle can't take down The Undertaker, brother.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today I learned that Vince McMahon originally wanted to call WrestleMania "The Colossal Tussle" until Howard Finkel came up with the WrestleMania name and booker George Scott convinced Vince to go with the 'Mania name.

THE COLOSSAL TUSSLE.
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



Sadly, I do not possess the Photoshop fu to improve a "pointing at the sign" action photo.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 3:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Hillbilly Jim told TMZ that he wants Hulk Hogan to induct him into the Hall of Fame.


First of all, how dare you overlook The Godwinns as the first choice.

Secondly, you're not getting Hogan, so you better have the Godwinns or The Haiti Kid's phone numbers.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's only right. Hogan is the one who discovered regular person Jim, the typical WWF fan who brought a horseshoe to front-row seats at every WWF taping for weeks and weeks, and then personally trained him in the only gym that continuously plays "I Am a Real American."
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's just phenomenal to see how resistant the WWE fans are to the "you'll eat it, and like it" plate of Roman Reigns they're being force-fed.

Raw began with a "suspended" Reigns showing up anyway, doing the standard John Cena promo act, doing the Stone Cold "defy authority" act, hitting the "I'm here every damn week, but where's Brock?" drumbeat (in case Lesnar actually does go back to UFC), doing the "I'm not leaving this ring until!" act, getting handcuffed by three local wrestlers dressed as U.S. Marshals, beating up all of the U.S. Marshals while handcuffed, then getting savagely attacked by Lesnar while still handcuffed, then getting attacked again after Lesnar had left but returned, then getting attacked AGAIN after Lesnar left and came back AGAIN, then getting attacked and dragged around by Lesnar yet again while strapped to a stretcher... and all the while, Michael Cole is hitting all the anti-Lesnar talking points.

WWE's reward for this character build? As Lesnar was repeatedly hitting Reigns with a steel chair, some in the crowd started chanting, "You deserve it! You deserve it!"

The Era of the Big Dog begins in three weeks.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't think the build to Cena/Undertaker could get worse.

I was wrong.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2018 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hillbilly Jim becomes the 16th of 16 main characters from the "Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling" cartoon to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.

It's more of a fact fact than a fun fact.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2018 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

“But no, my contract actually runs out September 1st, which is actually the day of the All In show, but it’s funny because that doesn’t compute. I was in the Bahrain Comic Con the last two days, and we did Q&As, and at each one, somebody asked me about that. They said, ‘are you going to be at All In’? I’m not. I don’t know what to tell you. But yeah, my contract is up September 1st.”-- Daniel Bryan

Well, you don't have to do the All In show. But considering the programs being teased for you in WWE so far are with Shane McMahon, Dolph Ziggler and The Miz, please consider letting that contract expire, my friend.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This has to be one of the most 'Well, That Sums Up Pro Wrestling' paragraphs I've ever read:
Quote:

Despite being hospitalized over a stroke just a few weeks prior, Lawler was at WrestleMania weekend, hosting the Hall of Fame and also doing commentary for the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal during the WrestleMania pre-show. He also appeared at the WrestleCon Supershow, doing an angle with Joey Ryan where he threw a fireball at Ryan’s genitals.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
This has to be one of the most 'Well, That Sums Up Pro Wrestling' paragraphs I've ever read:
Quote:

Despite being hospitalized over a stroke just a few weeks prior, Lawler was at WrestleMania weekend, hosting the Hall of Fame and also doing commentary for the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal during the WrestleMania pre-show. He also appeared at the WrestleCon Supershow, doing an angle with Joey Ryan where he threw a fireball at Ryan’s genitals.


According to the podcast where this was revealed, he was having sex when he had the stroke.

Maybe that's the only way he can finish in his old age.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lawler should never have pulled down the strap holding his heart in place.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sign of the Night:

NICHOLAS > YODELING KID
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Top kids in WWF/WWE History:

1. MIZ GIRL
2. BASKETBALL KICKED AWAY BY TED DiBIASE KID
3. NICHOLAS
4. HORNSWOGGLE
5. MIZ'S WEEK-OLD DAUGHTER WHO CRIED BECAUSE SHE WATCHED SETH ROLLINS STEAL THE IC TITLE
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You left out Kid Who Screamed "YOU DID DAT YASELF!" when Dustin Rhodes burned his Goldust gear and did a worked shoot on RAW.

And Richie Steamboat at WrestleMania IV.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 2:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Undefeated at WrestleMania for their career:

Nicholas (1-0)

Also:
Mr. T (2-0)
Tatanka (Buffalo) (2-0)
Mojo Rawley (1-0)
Sweet Sapphire (1-0)
Butterbean (1-0)
Snooki (1-0)
The Haiti Kid (1-0)
Mo (1-0)
Rob Van Dam (4-0)
The Boogeyman (1-0)
Sable (3-0)
Michael Cole (1-0)
Wrestling Superstar Virgil (2-0)
Corporal Kirchner (1-0)
Demolition Ax (3-0) (*but NOT Demolition Smash-- see WrestleMania 7)
Little Beaver (1-0)
Terry Funk (1-0) and Chainsaw Charlie (1-0)
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now this is glorious:

http://www.profightdb.com/wrestlers/nicholas-14164.html
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
Undefeated at WrestleMania for their career:

Nicholas (1-0)

Also:
Mr. T (2-0)
Tatanka (Buffalo) (2-0)
Mojo Rawley (1-0)
Sweet Sapphire (1-0)
Butterbean (1-0)
Snooki (1-0)
The Haiti Kid (1-0)
Mo (1-0)
Rob Van Dam (4-0)
The Boogeyman (1-0)
Sable (3-0)
Michael Cole (1-0)
Wrestling Superstar Virgil (2-0)
Corporal Kirchner (1-0)
Demolition Ax (3-0) (*but NOT Demolition Smash-- see WrestleMania 7)
Little Beaver (1-0)
Terry Funk (1-0) and Chainsaw Charlie (1-0)


All of these people who are still living should compete in a WrestleMania battle royal to crown the all-time streak champion.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2018 11:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm still not sure who that sumo guy and that Baba Tunde guy are.
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The announcer yesterday:
“Only four men in history have won the Royal Rumble match from the #1 and #2 position. Among them Mysterio, Michaels and Vince McMahon.”


Can YOU solve the case?
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
The announcer yesterday:
“Only four men in history have won the Royal Rumble match from the #1 and #2 position. Among them Mysterio, Michaels and Vince McMahon.”


Can YOU solve the case?


That was so clumsy. Why even specifically mention the 3 non-Benoit guys and draw even more attention to it?

Can you picture a comedian accepting an award and saying "Well, I couldn't have done this without my 3 stand-up inspirations growing up: George Carlin and Eddie Murphy are two of them."
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not to mention that the Vince win wasn't exactly a legendary highlight. Or that Mysterio was an upcoming surprise entrant.

Just add "...including WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels." Or maybe, add nothing at all.

Or bring in Booker T to say that Chris Benoit was the fourth such winner, so that 85% of your audience won't comprehend that he said it.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The Saudi Arabian prince who wanted the WWE show (basically the whole reason for this deal in the first place), when originally talking to Vince said the three people who wanted on the show where "Undertaker, Ultimate Warrior and Yokozuna" The Prince wanted "the announcer with the crown and the announcer with the black hat".


I guess this kind of explains that random sumo guy.
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 9:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To complete the trilogy, couldn't they have just painted up Rhyno for the day, and given him a Tina Turner wig?
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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llYVNYgvf4E

This might be taken down by the time you see this, but the Montreal SmackDown crowd got the first-ever Bryan vs. Nakamura match as a dark match. It's not much and they don't go all-out for obvious reasons, but the finish is good and continues Nakamura's hatred of genitals.
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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 3:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

NOBODY...IS READY...FOR ASU...oh.
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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nia Jax: Be a star! Don't let anyone bully you!

(24 hours later)

Braun Strowman: GUESS WHAT KURT I MURDERED CHILDREN IN A TREEHOUSE
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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like Nicholas got out of WWE just in time.
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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.f4wonline.com/wwe-news/wwe-raw-ratings-down-big-backlash-fallout-257316

Well, I watched it for a bit but turned it off and deleted the recording without bothering to watch the rest of it, after that terrible Backlash show. First time in a while I haven't bothered to watch the show, actually.

Reading that a Roman Reigns/Jinder Mahal feud is starting doesn't do anything to make me wanna watch next week either, unless they book a Rollins/Balor IronMan match or something.
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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would have thought that viewers would be on their phones across America, telling their friends "Hurry, turn on Raw right now! No Way Jose and Titus Worldwide are facing Baron Corbin and the Revival!"
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2018 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, Kane won the local Knox County Republican primary in Tennessee and now he is going to be elected mayor. Check out his campaign logo:

https://jacobsformayor.com/
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PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I forgot about watching Raw on Monday, because the company is on such an unstoppable hot streak. I catch up on Dailymotion. They open the show with a dramatic "teaser" between Nia Jax and Ronda Rousey; apparently the first person to make a human facial expression or use inflection in a sentence is declared the loser.

Next, out comes Roman Reigns to waves of booing. Which he milks by standing there silently for 41 seconds, with each second representing a lifetime of boredom. I guess this is the part of the John Cena reboot where the booing gets so bad that it makes him "controversial." It turns out we're in for a Reigns-Jinder Mahal feud. Reigns is so disliked that the useless and sweaty Erector Set called Mahal actually got a cheer.

Anyway, that was the first four and a half minutes, and I'm already reluctant to continue.
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PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HelloDes wrote:
I forgot about watching Raw on Monday, because the company is on such an unstoppable hot streak. I catch up on Dailymotion. They open the show with a dramatic "teaser" between Nia Jax and Ronda Rousey; apparently the first person to make a human facial expression or use inflection in a sentence is declared the loser.

Next, out comes Roman Reigns to waves of booing. Which he milks by standing there silently for 41 seconds, with each second representing a lifetime of boredom. I guess this is the part of the John Cena reboot where the booing gets so bad that it makes him "controversial." It turns out we're in for a Reigns-Jinder Mahal feud. Reigns is so disliked that the useless and sweaty Erector Set called Mahal actually got a cheer.

Anyway, that was the first four and a half minutes, and I'm already reluctant to continue.


Rollins and Owens had a good match.

Also, the crowd chanting the A-Team theme during The B Team (Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel's new gimmick/name) match and the "He's going bald! He's going bald! He's going! Cor-bin's going bald!" to the tune of "Three Lions" was amusing.

Other than that, it was a whole lot o' nothin'.
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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2018 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see that Cena has reached the "Inspire Hope" stage of the D.E.N.N.I.S System.
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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2018 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like we may have talked about this before, but it's worth repeating.

If you go to cancel the Network, which I just did (no time to watch the classic stuff and the current stuff is garbage), they will offer you your next month free. So, if you want to save $9.99, give it a go.

I assume it will just work the one time, but we'll see when I go to cancel again next month.
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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2018 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reportedly it works repeatedly. That's how AOL was back in the old days; I got at least five free extensions just by quitting, until they got annoyed that I'd never forgotten to re-cancel by the new deadline and gotten stuck with another paid month, which was their goal. Eventually, they finally gave up on me.

I've never tested it with the $9.99 Network, though, because just keeping up with approximately 20% of WWE's product (Raws and maybe 4 PPVs a year) is already a time-eater for me. So the idea of subscribing to a cable service that lets me watch old Nitros and new "We're riding in a car!" programs isn't for me.
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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2018 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, so where does "Lashley's "sisters" rank on the all-time list of embarrassingly bad wrestling segments?
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