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WWE NETWORK THREAD
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 2:52 pm    Post subject: WWE NETWORK THREAD Reply with quote

Since the WWE thread is mostly for current events and a bunch of us are watching old gems on the Network, we may as well have a separate thread for this stuff. This way maybe I won't end up texting "MANTAUR JUST ENTERED THE RUMBLE. BUSINESS HAS PICKED UP!" to people at 1 in the morning.
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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just hope the new voices of the network continue to be Jerry "The King" Smaller, Micro Cole and JB Elf.
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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finished watching Raw episode 2 today. Rob Bartlett started the show by tearing up a picture of Bobby Heenan and saying "fight the real enemy" ala Sinhead. Then he makes numerous references to Amy Fisher, and Joey & Mary Jo Buttafuco. All of them unfunny. I wish he'd lasted. I'm sure his Columbine jokes would have killed......
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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:

Despite not knowing much about wrestling, Bartlett did make me laugh with the one episode of RAW where Vince was absent and Bartlett did the Vince impression for the whole show next to Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. Like Oklahoma, it was mostly unfunny & he didn't do a great job getting in all the typical Vince lines. But like Oklahoma ("PINATA! PINATA! PINATA!"), it was worth it for the few funny moments. And for one of my favorite quotes EVER. The Nasty Boys and the Headshrinkers were having a 'wild brawl' Memphis-style (complete with concession stands and mustard-squirting) that ended in a double-countout. They went to a break during the match and when they came back, Bartlett yelled in Vince-mode: "During the break, one of the Headshrinkers grabbed a small child from the crowd and started BEATING one of the Nasty Boys over the head with it!......IT'SMONDAYNIGHTRAWWWWGGGH."


Thanks to the Network, I'm watching this episode right now and I stand by this old post.

Other funny moments:
The way Bartlett keeps using the Vince-ism "I don't know about that, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan!/Gorilla Monsoon!"

(after Bartlett yells incoherently)
Heenan: "Did you make an appointment for him?"
Monsoon: "Yeah."
Heenan: "With who?"
Monsoon: (long pause) "DR. KEVORKIAN."
Bartlett: "I don't know about that, Gorilla Monsoon!"

Heenan: "This is the best McMahon's been."
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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here is the greatest intro to any wrestling PPV ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLvcxesvpSM
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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why couldn't the tall kid just settle on one costume? Sorry, but you can't be both the computer whiz from the first "Die Hard" AND X-Pac.
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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Discovered today that episode 8 of Raw has Black Guy In Bob Backlund Tshirt's finest hour, as Backlund actually shows up to win a squash match. The shirt guy is SO HAPPY.

Also, I'm shocked I'm 8 episodes in and Rob Bartlett is still around.
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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 10:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bartlett's around until mid-April. I'm up to the July 19 episode (featuring PWI's 1993 Match of the Year) and Bartlett's been gone awhile.

Mr. Hughes, however, is still around. And he seems to be on every RAW now whether I like it or not.
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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bartlett's around until mid-April. I'm up to the July 19 episode (featuring PWI's 1993 Match of the Year) and Bartlett's been gone awhile.

Mr. Hughes, however, is still around. And he seems to be on every RAW now whether I like it or not. Harb was right.
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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 8:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking of fans at the early Manhattan Center RAWs, during the Jannetty/Michaels match from July 19, I spotted a woman in the front row and I'm 85% sure it's ECW's Francine.
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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a late-80's WCW/NWA PPV from either Baltimore or Philly (doing 2 seconds of research it was probably Halloween Havoc 1989) and on one crowd shot they had a close-up of what was obviously ECW's "hat guy". Except he was wearing a U.S. Postal Service cap, so it was pretty weird.

Oh also during Wrestlemania III, Adrian Adonis' tights are weird, and you couldn't possibly see his penis more clearly if he was completely naked. We aren't talking like a Mr. Perfect bulge here, you could make out where the shaft ended and the head began and everything. I haven't see a lot of Adonis matches so I don't know if that was a normal thing for him, just thought I'd toss it out there.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

During the 1993 King of the Ring, Gene Okerlund refers to Hogan as "Perhaps the greatest hero in the history of the planet", all while the camera is fixed on the back of Jimmy Hart's jacket, featuring a giant creepy Hogan face. Hart rocks back and forth so it looks like the Hogan jacket head is talking and when they pan back out, it kinda looks like Hart is masturbating. I forgot how much more annoying Jimmy Hart made Hogan in that era. Jimmy Hart also cuts a promo which is literally the first two lines of Hogan's WCW theme: "He's got the red white and blue running through his veins! And he was born and raised in the USA!"
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Late last night while tired and trying to get to sleep, not wearing my glasses, I viewed an old episode of ECW and thought the "Shah of ECW" Hack Myers kind of resembled a fatter, balder "Shah of GX" GHarb77.
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If they keep getting those ECW TV episodes up there we'll eventually get the episode with "GX: SLOP IT" in the front row during the Dudleys match where they do the fire table for the first time. Oh and, uh, "Zac Hanson 3:16" sign appearing over Super Crazy's shoulder during ring introductions.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just got to the RAW with the clip from WWF Superstars where The Undertaker is revealed as The All-Americans' replacement for Tatanka in the Survivor Series match. It's even better than I remember.

UT: "I've stood tall in my beliefs and even when condemned for my actions, I stood by what I believed in. And now, these three men stand up for what THEY believe in....... AMERICAN PRIIIIIIDE."
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure why there has not yet been some goofy edited version of that video where Undertaker opens his jacket and just has the smallest dick of all time.
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"...in this video where Shia LeBeouf is seen chasing down a homeless guy for his McDonald's."

This week on the network?
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Foleyite



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, all those monthly fees were worth it just to see Salvatore Bellomo play on a swingset with his children.
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was randomly watching Summerslam 2005 a few days ago. I think we can all agree that the world needs more "custody papers in a briefcase" ladder matches very soon.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 31, 2014 3:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Watching the build-up to Wrestlemania X and it's pretty lousy. Bret/Owen, and Crush/Savage have had good, long builds, but Owen is still essentially transitioning from a jobber-to-the-stars role and Crush is a lousy heel. Bret/Owen is also thrown into the mix of the World title situation. The only interesting pairing in that whole thing was Bret/Luger and they never even did it. Luger/Yoko and Bret/Yoko had already main evented PPVs and felt like boring retreads. Savage/Crush has also lost a lot of momentum since the fall when that feud really started. Razor has been feuding with IRS and it's already February and they haven't really built up the issue with him and HBK yet. Bigelow/Doink has had a few months of build, but it involves Good Guy Doink so it's garbage. It's no wonder that I almost stopped watching wrestling altogether during this timeframe.

It now seems pretty obvious that they were building to a Kid/Jannetty-Quebecers tag title rematch at Wrestlemania since there is a lot of focus on those two battling with Johnny Polo and the Quebecers on these RAWs. The Steiners were apparently unhappy during this time and they have virtually disappeared from RAW altogether. On a RAW from early February, Vince casually mentions that they had ten minutes to beat the Quebecers on WWF Superstars and they couldn't do it. Around this time, Jannetty was fired for some bizarre reason. And by "some bizarre reason", I mean that court case where the jobber that got paralyzed with a Rocker Dropper was given millions of dollars in a settlement around this time. So, we end up with the Quebecers defending the tag titles at Wrestlemania against..... oh, let's say Men on a Mission.

Alundra Blayze has been introduced with short, shitty vignettes. They've shown edited footage of her winning the new women's title. I get that they didn't really have a division or a rival for her yet, but I don't know - build up a Luna Vachon/Alundra Blayze feud or something? At least bring in some ladies for her to beat every couple of weeks on RAW, so people know who she is? Just weird how much of a non-factor she and the new women's title are.

Speaking of newcomers: Jeff Jarrett has finally debuted after months of hype and has zero direction. Kwang has arrived. Earthquake made a big return by just showing up and beating a jobber with zero hype. Sparky Plugg just debuted and won with a sloppy kneedrop from the top rope. Vince: "He calls that the Overhead Cam!" Nikolai Volkoff will be returning to action. Isn't it weird to introduce people during the WM build-up? With Undertaker, Jannetty, Martel and the Steiners (and soon the The Headshrinkers and the Quebecers) gone, I guess some roster spots have to be filled, but it seems odd to debut guys during this season.

So yeah, thanks ECW and WCW for pumping life into this zombie.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 31, 2014 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One thing that has dawned on me while watching this era: Razor Ramon's popularity cannot be overstated. I remember the t-shirts and merchandise from that era being pretty terrible. As much as I loved Bret and Shawn, there was no way I was walking into high school wearing shirts featuring nothing but shirtless guys, hot pink fonts and hearts. Looking at these 1994 crowds, I seem to see more of that awful yellow "Oozing Machismo" Razor shirt than anything else. There are also plenty of foam razors in the stands. Overall, you don't see people wearing a lot of wrestler shirts in the crowds. Maybe times have changed and WWE is better at marketing shirts (by having every wrestler wear their own shirt on the shows, for one thing), but I also think it has something to do with the fact that they were just selling ugly, embarrassing shirts at the time.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 31, 2014 7:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As opposed to those beautiful, beautiful, scratchy foam razors? If I was in one of those stupid movies where I had to spend $10 million in 24 hours in order to claim my $300 billion inheritance, and my total was at $9,999,997.75, and it was already 11:58 PM, and I was at a WWE merchandise stand, and all the boxes were empty and every item was sold except for one last Razor Ramon foam razor, and it was marked down to three dollars, I'd have to say "no thanks."

Incidentally, I'm not just talking out of my ass here. This exact scenario has happened to me eight times.
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 4:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vince is a commentary goldmine in these episodes.

I can't say enough about Vince's excitement over the New Kids on the Block's "new tracks".

When Owen Hart goes towards the crowd with a pair of Bret sunglasses, Vince spells the whole thing out for us. "Bret Hart always gives a kid in the front row a pair of sunglasses.." When Owen tears the glasses in three, Vince literally says "What a dastardly thing to do!"
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Foleyite wrote:
When Owen Hart goes towards the crowd with a pair of Bret sunglasses, Vince spells the whole thing out for us. "Bret Hart always gives a kid in the front row a pair of sunglasses.." When Owen tears the glasses in three, Vince literally says "What a dastardly thing to do!"



Karma.
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2014 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess the network ain't doing too good, here's a preview of some upcoming late night programming.

http://youtu.be/io7J6vfPiCU
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2014 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I watched that whole damn thing and he never once attempted to rape the pressure cooker. I feel ripped off. And less horny.
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just got to a RAW where they have a segment with a guy in a New York deli talking about how The Undertaker came in. "I turn around to get his pickles, and BOOM - he vanished into smoke!" And I remembered I parodied that for Battle Monkey's pre-debut vignettes. Now I just want to order the GX Network, so I can re-live the T0Y-Monkey Era.

Jobber: "I want you to get a good look at the NEW Mr. and Mrs. Jobber4WCW. Hey Outkast! I bet you're wondering - not did we - but how many times did we MAKE FUN OF YOUR COLLECTION OF SHITTY RADIOHEAD ALBUMS! GIGIGIGIGIGIGIGIGI!" ::crotch chop::

WCWSchvnne: "BAH GOD THIS YOUNG GIRL JUST HAD THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF HER LIFE RUINED BY THAT SON OF A BITCH!"
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

11/28/1994. Episode 88. The most important episode of Raw in the history of GX. The first vignette for Henry Orpheous Godwinn.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The whole whitewashing-Benoit-from-history thing really gets in the way of the cruiserweight episode of "Monday Night War". To have them talk about how WCW went out and brought in guys from Japan and ECW, guys who worked a hybrid of American/Japanese styles, etc. and have them never mention Benoit - we all know why they don't mention him, but it's just awkward.

Norman Smiley mentioning "La Parker" was nice, though.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They also glossed over the whole now-forgotten Great Sasuke deal. It was obvious that the WWF were going to build the light heavyweight division around him. Then he mouthed off that he didn't really wanna work in America or something like that, so they went with Taka Michinoku as a Plan B and while he was pretty great, he didn't have the same name value or credibility amongst all the smarts and the puroresu fans that Sasuke did back then. We were living in a Super J-Cup '94 World, and I was a Super J-Cup '94 Girl. Or boy.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked Taka (and one of my favorite random WC lines was someone claiming that "TAKA is slender but tender" during a discussion of Taka's penis), however, Great Sasuke was a Japanese government official who wore his mask while in session, so he is going to top the Japanese cruiserweight list for me.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was surprised to see old favorite Super Crazy's name pop up in the Observer just the other week.

After doing one minute of research, I find the reason for my surprise is that I am stupid, he's been wrestling continuously, and I apparently did not learn object permanence as a baby.
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't watched that episode yet, but if it does not include a 20-minute montage of Juventud Guerrera slipping and falling I am 100% done with the WWE Network.
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 4:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He's shown in some "Those guys could do amazing high-flying things" clips, but I don't even think Juventud Guerrera's name was mentioned.

I picture guys like Blitzkrieg watching that special and being annoyed. "Not even a brief mention? Damn."
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GIncognto SECRETS:
When I got the WWE Network and tried out the search function, the very first thing I searched for was "Blitzkrieg". There was one PPV match in the search results. I think that guy was around for a month so that figures.
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My first WWE Network search was for Krystallnacht. But they only have some Nazi terms in the system.
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I imagine this conversation happened backstage many times in ECW:

Taz: so it's cool if i grab you and just dump you on your head with a suplex in a nasty way, like a way that could paralyze you or kill you

ECW Job Guy: yeah thats fine
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only job that Sabu can hold is as a human rooster, waking up every sunrise and crying out in agony.

If he lives to be a hundred, he will never know a moment without pain, in order that I might have been fleetingly entertained 18 years ago. Thank you, Sabu.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2014 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most bothersome part of the Randy Savage mini-documentary:

Lanny Poffo claiming that Savage learned from him how to be a good interview and inspired the "OHHHHH YEAH" catch phrase?

OR

Jimmy Hart's fake hair?
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you only do one thing the rest of your life, watch episode 1 of TNT on the network (thanks Foleyite for the heads up).

I didn't start watching TNT until mid 1985, I would guess, so these early episodes will be completely new to me. I'm not sure where to start on what I've seen so far. First there's Lord Alfred sitting in a chair that may be too big for him. His feet don't seem to quite hit the floor and he's resting his hands in his lap as a child would. Then you have the 10-minute "analysis" of an epic Brian Blair vs. Paul Orndorff match that his Lordship clearly did not prepare for. Finally, my favorite part of the first half hour.........Dr. D. David Shultz at home with his family. I'm nominating it as perhaps the greatest segment in wrestling history. The network has paid for itself for this month with that wonderful piece of production alone.
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